We all experience and will experience loss. Loss isn’t just about death; it’s about losing what we cherish. It’s failed relationships, lost jobs, destroyed homes, failing health, and a loss of trust or faith in others and ourselves. Loss comes in different forms and stages, and it is unique to each of us. The Ashes Project is a way for us to face loss and find the strength to heal through sharing our own unique stories. STORY BEHIND THE ASHES PROJECT
My world broke on July 4, 2011. My dad – the most important person in the world to me – died suddenly on that day. He was my mentor, my friend, my spiritual teacher. And he was gone. Forever. I was in heart wrenching agony. I had no idea how to cope with the emotions flying at me every minute – resentment, anger, despair, loneliness, guilt, complete emptiness. Books didn’t help me understand what I was feeling. People didn’t know how to approach and support me. I decided that in order to deal with loss, I would have to find my own way of coping. I began to heal by exploring every emotion I experienced, feeling my way through each of them. I captured my journey in journal entries, emails to friends and notes from counseling sessions. There were some emotions that were too difficult to deal with at first and lingered like shadows. Four months after my Dad passed I decided to go back to the emotions that plagued me the most – Despair, Loneliness, Darkness and Anger – and dig into them so I could finally be released from the pain. In order to do this, I embarked on a journey with my dear friend and photographer, James, to capture these experiences on camera. The Ashes Project is the product of that journey. The photos and thoughts collected here were my way to make sense of my broken world; an attempt to follow my emotions – like bread crumbs – in hopes of putting the pieces of my heart and life back together. I wanted to someday rise from the ashes and live again. I wanted to look back and know that I had conquered my fears and faced grief, and that I could do it again. As I share this project with you, I hope it will open a discussion on loss, helping each of us learn to understand and cope with the pain.
