Dr. Robert A. Mead

The good doctor speaks on self love as your best therapy

The good doctor speaks on self love being your best therapy

Dr. Mead’s Quick Guide for Coping with the Pandemic

Avoid becoming a psychological or emotional casualty to the pandemic by following these suggestions. Hope for the best but prepare for less than the best.

Do
• Accept the new reality of life during pandemic
• Take in enough information to be adequately aware of what’s happening
• Take maximal control of things that are within your realm of influence
• Exercise regularly
• Connect with friends regularly to fortify support network
• Have regular family time to foster communicate and positive interactions
• Have regular couples or partner to address relational needs
• Have regularly scheduled “me time’
• Engage in regular activities of fun, enjoyment, entertainment and pleasure
• Take responsibility for protecting personal physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health
• Create adaptive outlets for distressful emotions
• Invest some time and energy in apersonal projects

Don’t
• Deny the need to adjust to a new reality
• Overindulge in news, especially bad news
• Use a lot of your time and attention focused on things you can’t control
• Neglect body’s need for activity
• Isolate self from social connectedness
• Isolate self from family supports
• Have so much time and energy invested in work or others while neglecting self
• Deprive self of enjoyable and pleasurable activities
• Engage in self-defeating or self-sabotaging behaviors
• Use family or friends as outlets for frustration, anger, sadness, and other distressful emotions

COMPONENTS OF HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS
Positive Interactions
A partner should contribute to the well being of the other. They should be motivated to make the other feel happy, satisfied and good about themselves. This can be best facilitated by engaging in primarily positive interactions with your partner. This includes being nice, polite, respectable, cooperative and supportive. Strive for relationship harmony, peace and contentment; minimize discord, conflict and negativity in the relationship.
Teamwork and solution-oriented attitudes
Teamwork consists of realizing and utilizing personal and collective resources toward goal attainment and resolution of problems. Conflicts and differences are inherent in all relationships. They should be viewed as challenges not as barriers or points of anger and resentment. A problem-solving attitude focuses on the solution - not the problem. Utilizing effective communication skills, negotiation skills, and problem solving skills will lead to resolution of any relational problem; or a solution that each partner can accept.
Accessing and utilizing external resources to compensate weaknesses and deficit areas is an additional component of teamwork and successful goal attainment.
Honest Communication and Acceptance
Each partner should be free to exercise honest expression of thoughts, feelings, preferences, desires, dislikes, etc. without fear of rejection, criticism, judgment.
Promoting best interest of self and partner
Each partner should be sensitive to the relational needs of the other and eager to meet those needs. Additionally each partner should be aware of their own relational needs and have the right to advocate and negotiate to get their needs met.
Balance between time spent together and time spent apart
Each partner should feel that their relational needs are being adequately provided for by the person they have chosen to be their partner. There should be ample time allotted for doing things together as a couple such as activities of enjoyment, expressions of affection and sexuality, working on relationship goals, problem-solving sessions, etc.
Additionally, each partner should be allowed time for self during which they can pursue personal goals, or projects, engage in activities of enjoyment that may exclude their partner, engage in a hobby, and nurture relationships with other people who add to the quality of their lives (friends, business associates, mentors, etc.).

ARE YOU READY FOR LOVE?

Imagine starting out on a journey without a map, with little money in your pocket, and with little gas in your vehicle. The outcome would be quite predictable - you would have a very difficult time if not an impossible one arriving at your destination. Too often people go about their search for a relationship in a similar manner - with inadequate skills and resources and with out a clear sense of where they want to end up. Too often we set ourselves up for failure by prematurely setting out on a search for a relationship before we are ready to be in one. The inevitable hurt and frustration of another failed relationship leaves us feeling unlovable and again asking, "Why can't I find the right person?" Before setting out on your next quest for relationship happiness, ask yourself...

1. Am I still in love with an ex-partner?

2. Am I carrying tremendous resentment or rage toward an ex-partner?

3. Do I feel spiritually or emotionally empty within myself?

4. Do I dislike the person I am?

5. Do I feel I have very little to offer a mate?

6. Do I feel so lonely and desperate that I’m totally miserable without a relationship?

7. Do I feel no one would want to be in a relationship with me?

8. Do I find it difficult to feel or express my emotions?

If you answered yes to any of these questions you may not be emotionally ready to have an intimate relationship. Either you haven’t recovered sufficiently from a previous relationship to give your heart to another, or your self-esteem is so low that you can’t love another, or you feel so empty inside that you have nothing to offer except neediness. If you suspect you aren’t ready for love, go on a relationship fast and work on improving your relationship with yourself.

Offices for rent

200 W57 Street between B’way & 7th Ave.

Prime midtown location in a doorman building with 24/7 access. Shared suite suitable for an accountant, lawyer, psychologist or psychiatrist. Shared waiting area, internal bathroom, Long term lease is an option. Two offices available one for $1850 and one for $2650 includes utilities and cleaning.

Nearby transportation: 1,A,B,C,D,F,N,Q,R and W trains.
917.623.4915 or 917.370.5162

LOVE and GIVING

In a relationship your job is to please your partner and your partner’s job is to please you.

In a relationship your responsibility is to communicate to your partner the things that please you, bring you pleasure, you desire and prefer; as well as the things that displease you, annoy you and that you don’t desire or prefer. Your partner’s responsibility in the relationship is to communicate the same to you.

Effective communication between partners makes it easier for each person in the relationship to do their job.

LOVE is more than a four letter word. Love must be expressed and communicated through one’s actions and words. You can contribute to your partner feeling loved, valued, appreciated and cared for by the ways in which each partner gives to the other. Some ways of giving include

Concrete gifts – physical things that please the other. Some gifts can be spontaneous while others are in response to direct requests. They can be simple (cards, flowers, favorite food, etc.) or as elaborate and expensive as you choose.

Verbal gifts/Affirmations – Compliments and words of love, kindness, affection, appreciation and respect convey our thanks for partner being in your life. (I love you, thanks for being in my life, I appreciate the contributions you make to my happiness, compliments, etc.)

Gifts of physical touch – positive physical contact is a basic human need. Hugs, kisses, caresses, hand holding, stroking and massages convey the message that your partner feels good and you feel good from being in contact with their body.

Gifts of sensual touch - Men and women are sensual beings and our sensual needs must be satisfied on a regular basis. Activities designed to achieve sensual satisfaction should be a regular component of any relationship.

Acts of kindness, respect, service -Treating your partner in a kind and respectful manner and providing acts of service can be easily done by doing helpful and necessary acts, being friendly, supportive, attentive, kind, and considerate.

Gifts of caring and sharing/quality time – spending quality time together, sharing thoughts, goals, activities of enjoyment, fears, dreams, feelings and experiences promote a sense of intimacy and true sharing of self; and conveys a message of caring, concern and including partner in all aspects of your life.

If you give to your partner in all the above areas on a regular basis, you will be doing your job and your partner will feel loved, valued, appreciated and respected; and your partner will feel a desire to give to you in the same ways.

… and in the end, the love you take, is equal to the love you make. Enjoy each other.

LOVE and GIVING

In a relationship your job is to please your partner and your partner’s job is to please you.

In a relationship your responsibility is to communicate to your partner the things that please you, bring you pleasure, you desire and prefer; as well as the things that displease you, annoy you and that you don’t desire or prefer. Your partner’s responsibility in the relationship is to communicate the same to you.

Effective communication between partners makes it easier for each person in the relationship to do their job.

LOVE is more than a four letter word. Love must be expressed and communicated through one’s actions and words. You can contribute to your partner feeling loved, valued, appreciated and cared for by the ways in which each partner gives to the other. Some ways of giving include

Concrete gifts – physical things that please the other. Some gifts can be spontaneous while others are in response to direct requests. They can be simple (cards, flowers, favorite food, etc.) or as elaborate and expensive as you choose.

Verbal gifts/Affirmations – Compliments and words of love, kindness, affection, appreciation and respect convey our thanks for partner being in your life. (I love you, thanks for being in my life, I appreciate the contributions you make to my happiness, compliments, etc.)

Gifts of physical touch – positive physical contact is a basic human need. Hugs, kisses, caresses, hand holding, stroking and massages convey the message that your partner feels good and you feel good from being in contact with their body.

Gifts of sensual/erotic touch - Men and women are sexual beings and our sexual needs must be satisfied on a regular basis. Activities designed to achieve or**sm and sexual satisfaction should be a regular component of any relationship.

Acts of kindness, respect, service -Treating your partner in a kind and respectful manner and providing acts of service can be easily done by doing helpful and necessary acts, being friendly, supportive, attentive, kind, and considerate.

Gifts of caring and sharing/quality time – spending quality time together, sharing thoughts, goals, activities of enjoyment, fears, dreams, feelings and experiences promote a sense of intimacy and true sharing of self; and conveys a message of caring, concern and including partner in all aspects of your life.

If you give to your partner in all the above areas on a regular basis, you will be doing your job and your partner will feel loved, valued, appreciated and respected; and your partner will feel a desire to give to you in the same ways.

… and in the end, the love you take, is equal to the love you make. Enjoy each other.

Ten Ways To Reduce Stress In Your Life

1 – Add more fun to your life…do things you enjoy and enjoy what you do
2 – Get enough sleep and rest… your body must recharge and discharge tension
3 – Express your feelings… unexpressed feelings are the seed of stress, pain, illness
4 – Laugh often… laughter is great tension breaker and enhances the immune system
5 – Exercise… a great way to relieve tension and improve mood …find an activity that you enjoy and do it often
6 – Love more … your body needs affection, stimulation, pampering; give love to others and it returns to you- in the end the love you take is equal to the love you make
7 – Eliminate self pity… you may gain sympathy for a while but soon you will be avoided
8 – Develop meaningful relationships… it is important to have good friends in whom you can confide and find support… important to be a true friend
9 – Alter behaviors and attitudes… when ideas or views are not serving you well, change them; learn to create the situations you desire ; be proactive more than reactive
10 – Learn relaxation techniques… experience inner peace

Start everyday with the intentions of making it a good day. Even if something bad happens, don’t let it define your day. Deal with the problem and then resume your intention of having a good day. A streak of good days leads to a good week. A streak of good weeks leads to a good month. A streak of good months leads to a good year. A streak of good years lead to a GOOD LIFE. Live well and prosper.

Photos from Dr. Robert A. Mead's post

A failure represents an opportunity to alter a strategy that did not work. If what you're doing is not getting the desired results, experiment with another approach for a period of time & then evaluate the effectiveness of that approach. Thomas Edison once said that he discovered how to make a light bulb work by first discovering 100 ways that a light bulb doesn't work! Commit to a goal & invest adequate time & energy to insure its attainment.

A failure represents an opportunity to alter a strategy. If what you're doing doesn't get the result you desire, experiment with another approach for a period of time & then evaluate the effectiveness of that approach. Thomas Edison once said he discovered how to make a light bulb work by first discovering 100 ways a light bulb doesn't work. Commit to a goal & invest adequate time & energy to insure it's attainment.

A feeling of love is an essential component of a healthy relationship. Without some kind of attraction and attachment to a person - why consider a relationship? However a dose of reality is also essential to a healthy relationship. A realistic assessment of ones compatibility in values, lifestyle, preferences, goal and beliefs is an essential component of healthy relationship choices. Love with a dose of Reality = formula for successful relationship choice.

Dr. Robert A Mead, the Relationship Doc | Distinguished New York City clinical and consulting...

This holiday season be nice to self and others with a gift that keeps giving:
•Guide to Healthy Relationship Choices
•Guide to Happy & Successful Relationships
•Guide to Achieving Happiness & Success
•Guide to Effective Parenting

Available online @ www.therelationshipdoc.com

If you don't know where you're going, It's hard to get there!

Peace, Love & Joy to the World!

Dr. Robert A Mead, the Relationship Doc | Distinguished New York City clinical and consulting... Did you find our website from psychologytoday.com? Use PTODAY10 to get a 10% discount on any of our Guides. Available until September 30, 2014.

Positive change is achievable by making a conscious decision to promote one's best interest & personal wellbeing. Consciously giving up self-defeating & self-sabotaging attitudes & behaviors frees up time/energy for creative, productive & fulfilling endeavors. Don't live life to avoid a negative; love life to create positives!

You live inside your body. Loving and caring for your body is an essential component of self-love. Maintain a life style that addresses Take care the body’s need for:

. Hygiene = keeping the body clean and attractive to other;
. Nutrition= feeding the body what it needs to stay strong and
healthy;
. Exercise=keeping the body strong and resilient
. Rest/Sleep= allowing the body to recuperate from stress and
activities;
. Relaxation= calming the mind and allowing focus;
. Stimulation= giving the body pleasure and stimulating the senses
(touch, taste, smell, visual, hearing, visceral):

Take care of your body and your body will take care of you...

A healthy balanced lifestyle that includes regular activities of joy & pleasure, regular interactions with people you love and people who love you and regularly meeting your physical & spiritual needs insures a positive mood & happy, fulfilling life

Summer’s here and romance is on the horizon! Time to get busy in finding the right one for you. Be sure to avoid these 6 common mistakes while seeking summer romance.

1. Not asking enough questions
2. Making premature compromises
3. Ignoring warning signals of potential problems
4. Giving in to lust blindness
5. Giving in to material seduction
6. Putting commitment before compatibility

Any additional tips to add from your experiences? Please share and add your comments.

Treating yourself in a loving manner entails maintaining a lifestyle in which your physical, social, emotional and spiritual needs are met on a consistent basis. When you love yourself you are never without love❤️

A spring inventory and purge is a gift to self. Get rid of useless objects that clutter your personal space. Minimize interactions with people who bring negativity to your life. Eliminate self defeating thoughts and attitudes that sabotage your best interests. Discontinue habits & behaviors that interfere with attaining goals. Fill newly created space, time & energy with creative, productive and loving gifts to self!

Being alone represents an opportunity to spend time with someone you love ♥️. An essential component of happiness is creating a healthy balance between time/energy invested in self & others.

A relational argument or dispute represents an opportunity to resolve a problem. A problem remains a problem and will recur until it is resolved. Once resolved it is no longer a problem and can be scratched from the list - thus freeing up time and energy for more creative, productive or loving activities. Effective problem solving skills and strategies are an essential part of any healthy relationship. Learn how at therelationshipdoc.com

'Tis the season of love and giving!
LOVE is more than a four letter word. Love must be expressed and communicated through one’s actions and words. You can contribute to your partner feeling loved, valued, appreciated and cared for by the ways in which each partner gives to the other. Some ways of giving include physical gifts, verbal gifts, gifts of touch (physical and erotic), gifts of sharing and caring, gifts of kindness, gifts of quality time.
"And in the end the love you take is equal to the love you make" - The Beatles

In a relationship each partners' job is to please the other; each partners' responsibility is to communicate things that are pleasing & displeasing to them - not a demand or obligation, simply for your information. Learn to give love, prepare to receive love!www.therelationshipdoc.com

Achieving Successful and Happy Relationships | Dr. Robert A Mead, the Relationship Doc

Relationships are like bank accounts- deposits are made when partners do things that please one another (gaining points), & debits are made when partners do things that are displeasing to one another (losing points), healthy relationships are like healthy bank accounts where deposits far exceeds debits. Strive for relationship wealth!
ACHIEIVING SUCCESSFUL AND HAPPY RELATIONSHIPS
http://therelationshipdoc.com/product/achieving-happy-successful-relationships/

Achieving Successful and Happy Relationships | Dr. Robert A Mead, the Relationship Doc Know your relationship rights. Learn to better communicate with your partner. Learn to resolve your relationship differences. Learn to give love, and prepare to receive love.

View your life with Kindsight. Instead of asking "What was I thinking?" Simply ask "What was I learning" Just ask doc for more self loving tips!

Achieving Happiness and Success | Dr. Robert A Mead, the Relationship Doc

View your life with
KINDSIGHT
Stop beating yourself up about mistakes from the past
instead of asking
"WHAT WAS I THINKING?"
simply ask
"WHAT WAS I LEARNING"
for more tips on treating yourself in a loving manner
- just ask Doc!
http://therelationshipdoc.com/product/achieving-happiness-and-success/

Achieving Happiness and Success | Dr. Robert A Mead, the Relationship Doc The Guide to Achieving Happiness and Success provides valuable information and skills that facilitate a healthy fulfilling lifestyle.

Don't invest valuable time and energy into relationships that are destined to fail. Quickly determine "who's right and who's goodnight". Use the Rate-A-Mate Scale - a comprehensive measure of relational compatibility - available in GUIDE TO MAKING HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP CHOICES. www.therelationshipdoc.com

Dr. Robert A Mead, the Relationship Doc | Distinguished New York City clinical and consulting...

You have the right to be unique and express yourself. Who you are, what you think and how you feel is real to you. No need to justify your existence & perceptions to others. (Item 12 in Psychological Bill of Rights). Know your rights & exercise them. GUIDE TO ACHIEVING HAPPINESS AND SUCCESS available at www.therelationshipdoc.com

Dr. Robert A Mead, the Relationship Doc | Distinguished New York City clinical and consulting... Did you find our website from psychologytoday.com? Use PTODAY10 to get a 10% discount on any of our Guides. Available until September 30, 2014.

Achieving Happiness and Success | Dr. Robert A Mead, the Relationship Doc

Having a positive & loving relationship with self is at the core of any successful relationship with another. What's your self-love quotient? Find out in the GUIDE to ACHIEVING HAPPINESS & SUCCESS

Achieving Happiness and Success | Dr. Robert A Mead, the Relationship Doc The Guide to Achieving Happiness and Success provides valuable information and skills that facilitate a healthy fulfilling lifestyle.

Dr. Robert A Mead, the Relationship Doc | Distinguished New York City clinical and consulting...

Become 'negative-thinking intolerant". Use time & energy on creative, productive or self fulfilling endeavors. Learn how to treat self & others in a loving manner. www.therelationshipdoc.com

Dr. Robert A Mead, the Relationship Doc | Distinguished New York City clinical and consulting... Did you find our website from psychologytoday.com? Use PTODAY10 to get a 10% discount on any of our Guides. Available until September 30, 2014.