Dr Nicole LePera

Dr Nicole LePera FOLLOW ME

12/22/2025

When someone has avoidant attachment, they usually view themselves as independent and able to quickly shut down feelings. This can be true. It can also be true that this is an attempt to feel safe— to shut down before they’re left, hurt, or disappointed. Avoidant attachment is all about running from emotions. Our own emotions and the emotions of others. The issue is avoidance keeps us from having the loving, connected, and deep relationships we actually desire

12/18/2025

Avoidant partners fear conflict (and their own feelings, and the feelings of others) that they prioritize their own peace. This of course will create resentment, because in relationships, we all have to sacrifice our comforts to hear and understand the feelings of another.

Have you had an avoidant partner who dodged conversations?

12/12/2025

Often the cycle breaker is diagnosed with anxiety, depression, or bipolar. But what if we realized this was an epigenetic memory— passed along to us from generations before. What we if we realized we’re not sick, were the awakened person ready to heal

12/10/2025

Bookmark and practice this. Vibration is a powerful way to bring your nervous system back into regulation. There’s a reason ancient civilizations used chanting, signing, and humming. They knew it was a way to bring the body back to a parasympathetic state

12/08/2025

People make healing complicate, but it’s actually just learning how to not take the emotional bait and how to stay in your own grounded energy

12/07/2025

High effort fathers need to be the norm, not the exception. The root of so many things on our society (addiction, crime, domestic violence, low self worth) comes from a lack of a present, fair, and attuned father figure

12/02/2025

Do you feel worthy?

11/28/2025

When we have an anxious attachment style, what we’re actually seeking is for our partner to regulate our nervous system.

We struggle with feelings of vulnerability and fear of abandonment. So relationships become more like a puzzle— something we have to constantly focus on and analyze. We become meaning making machines, always looking for clues for how the other person truly feels.

Unlike avoidants, who cope with their anxiety by isolating— people with anxious attachment cope by being chronically needy or emotionally overbearing. This can look like monitoring behavior and taking it personally. Giving emotional space or letting someone be in a “mood” feels unsafe.

Healing for someone with anxious attachment means finding a patient partner who can both reassure and show empathy. It also means learning how to directly communicate and how to self soothe. In moments when we feel unsure or insecure movement or journaling can be medicine. The more space we give, the more we teach our body that not all distant means abandonment. And not all moods are about us.

Do you struggle with anxious attachment? How do you deal with it?

11/28/2025

Our attachment styles create when and how we feel safe and good in partnership.

For people with avoidant attachment, dissociation and shut down is where they feel safe when overwhelmed.

For people with anxious attachment, closeness and connectivity is where they feel most safe when overwhelmed.

Interestingly— these two attachment styles are the most common relationship pattern. With awareness, compassion, and work both people can heal and learn to work around their attachment system.

HAVE YOU EXPERIENCED THIS?

Address

New York
New York, NY

Website

Alerts

Be the first to know and let us send you an email when Dr Nicole LePera posts news and promotions. Your email address will not be used for any other purpose, and you can unsubscribe at any time.

Shortcuts

Featured

Share

Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Share on LinkedIn
Share on Pinterest Share on Reddit Share via Email
Share on WhatsApp Share on Instagram Share on Telegram

Category