Laura-Ann Robb, psychotherapist

Timeline photos

Sharing your trauma with someone you trust can be very healing. But what about when someone continuously shares trauma without considering the listener or in an attempt to control them? https://ter.li/5afkkn

How Our Parents' Marriages Shape Our Relationships

How Our Parents' Marriages Shape Our Relationships Critical lessons in emotion management.

Why a Family Cutoff Can Produce Both Grief and Relief

Why a Family Cutoff Can Produce Both Grief and Relief The challenges of ambivalent loss.

How to Tell if You're Sabotaging Yourself

How to Tell if You're Sabotaging Yourself Neglecting health, time with toxic people, and feeling bored.

"Piglet?" said Pooh.

"Yes Pooh?" said Piglet.

"Do you ever have days when everything feels... Not Very Okay At All? And sometimes you don't even know why you feel Not Very Okay At All, you just know that you do."

Piglet nodded his head sagely. "Oh yes," said Piglet. "I definitely have those days."

"Really?" said Pooh in surprise. "I would never have thought that. You always seem so happy and like you have got everything in life all sorted out."

"Ah," said Piglet. "Well here's the thing. There are two things that you need to know, Pooh. The first thing is that even those pigs, and bears, and people, who seem to have got everything in life all sorted out... they probably haven't. Actually, everyone has days when they feel Not Very Okay At All. Some people are just better at hiding it than others.

"And the second thing you need to know... is that it's okay to feel Not Very Okay At All. It can be quite normal, in fact. And all you need to do, on those days when you feel Not Very Okay At All, is come and find me, and tell me. Don't ever feel like you have to hide the fact you're feeling Not Very Okay At All. Always come and tell me. Because I will always be there."

Styled upon the work of A.A.Milne
Credit unknown

Why Verbal Abuse Can Do So Much Damage

Why Verbal Abuse Can Do So Much Damage "Tough love" and "discipline" are often just rationales for maltreatment.

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From Tiffany Carter.

I saw this tattoo on facebook the other day & as I read the meaning behind it my body instantly got covered in chills.
I needed this!
Some of those words I needed to hear I posted below.
You may need them too🖤

Literally my sentiments... so much so that this is my tattoo.. 💛

“ Let Them”

“Just Let them.
If they want to choose something or someone over you, LET THEM.
If they want to go weeks without talking to you, LET THEM.
If they are okay with never seeing you, LET THEM.
If they are okay with always putting themselves first, LET THEM. 
If they are showing you who they are and not what you perceived them to be, LET THEM.
If they want to follow the crowd, LET THEM.
If they want to judge or misunderstand you, LET THEM.
If they act like they can live without you, LET THEM.
If they want to walk out of your life and leave,
hold the door open, AND LET THEM.

Let them lose you.
You were never theirs, because you were always your own.

So let them.

Let them show you who they truly are, not tell you.
Let them prove how worthy they are of your time.
Let them make the necessary steps to be a part of your life.
Let them earn your forgiveness.
Let them call you to talk about ordinary things.
Let them take you out on a Thursday.
Let them talk about anything and everything just because it’s you they are talking to.
Let them have a safe place in you.
Let them see the heart in you that didn’t harden.
Let them love you. “

I needed this as a reminder to myself!
Now every time I look down at my arm i’ll always be reminded…
Just Let Them
🖤

Reminder: Being in touch with your emotions and feelings is powerful. You're strong!
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Image via anxiety.positive on IG

TO THE WOMAN WHO IS SLOWLY FADING AWAY...

To the woman who has lost her spark.
To the woman whose get up and go, has well and truly gone.
This is for you.
This is to remind you, that you don’t have to be everything to everyone, every day.
You didn’t sign up for that.
Remember when you used to laugh? Sing?
Throw caution to the wind?
Remember when you used to forgive yourself more quickly for not always being perfect.
You can get that back again.
You really can.
And that doesn’t have to mean letting people down or walking away.
It just means being kinder to you, feeling brave enough to say no sometimes.
Being brave enough to stop sometimes.
And rest.
It starts the moment you realise that you’re not quite who you used to be.
Some of that is good, some of that is not.
There are parts of you that need to be brought back.
And if anyone in your life is not okay with that… they are not your people. Your people will be glad to see that spark starting to light up again.
So, if you have been slowly fading away my friend, this is the time to start saying yes to things that bring you joy and no to things that don’t.

It’s really pretty simple.

By Donna Ashworth

From ‘to the women’






Image by Sofikul7531, available on shutterstock as a print

14 Signs You Grew Up With A Toxic Parent & Didn't Know It

14 Signs You Grew Up With A Toxic Parent & Didn't Know It Growing up with a toxic parent isn't always obvious. Certain traits that come out in adulthood can be signs that your parents were toxic as a kid.

Anxiety Dumpers: How to Avoid Them (and Not Be One)

Anxiety Dumpers: How to Avoid Them (and Not Be One)

10 Men Share What They Needed to Hear From Their Dad (But Never Heard)

10 Men Share What They Needed to Hear From Their Dad (But Never Heard) Raising a healthy and well-adjusted boy is not easy. Here's what 10 men, looking back at their own childhoods, wish what their dad would have shared with them more often.

Check-in with yourself and discover what you need daily for your self-care. One day it could be a long hot shower the next day it could be scheduling an appointment with your therapist.
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Image via IGoToTherapy on IG

Nine Types Of Toxic Fathers That Leave Invisible Scars On Their Children

Nine Types Of Toxic Fathers That Leave Invisible Scars On Their Children Becoming a father is one of the greatest roles a man can ever fulfill, but that isn't to say that it's easy. While there are...

Timeline photos

Pat.
Wild Goose Counseling

Why Unloved Daughters Struggle to Recognize Cruelty

Why Unloved Daughters Struggle to Recognize Cruelty Recognition often needs to be sparked by a third party.

Why Adult Child/Parent Reconciliation is Often Impossible

Why Adult Child/Parent Reconciliation is Often Impossible After estrangement, putting Humpty Dumpty back together has its own obstacles.

I’ve been meaning to read this book. I loved the Midnight Library by Matt Haig.

How to stop time: kiss.
How to travel in time: read.
How to escape time: music.
How to feel time: write.
How to release time: breathe. ~Matt Haig

(Book: Reasons to Stay Alive https://amzn.to/3EofgBw)

(Art: Photograph by Etienne Gaboreau)

❤️❤️
(Pinterest)

“Generational patterns are woven into the fabric of our lives. But they are not set in stone. Fabric can be unraveled, tears mended, knots untangled. And a new pattern can be tenderly and intentionally begun. We are the story-weavers of this generation. May we wield our looms with the bravest love and fiercest hope imaginable.” • L.R.Knost - Little Hearts/Gentle Parenting Resources

WHEN YOU CANNOT BEAR YOUR BODY

The days when you cannot bear to exist within your own body, are the days you must really sit there and feel the vessel you live in.

Consider its structure, the layers, the insides.
The many miraculous functions it carries out in every moment.

If it lives with disability, consider the pressure that brings to each and every sinew.

If it is fighting illness, imagine that war within you.

Stare at your body, absorb it. Touch it.
Let the feelings of shame and disgust engulf you, and then send them away to the universe to dispose of.
You are not your body.
You are a guest in your body and you are currently rejecting it daily, hourly.
This rejection creates disfunction and estrangement.
It is little wonder you feel uncomfortable within your own skin.
You are.

You, my friend, did not ruin your body, or let yourself go.
You are merely living, and life takes its toll, as it absolutely must.

The days when you cannot bear to exist within your body, are the days when your body needs you, so very much, to check in.
To accept.
To apologise.
To connect.
To befriend.

Be grateful, as every guest should be.
Be tidy, be respectful, be clean.
But most of all, be good company.

You are not here for long.

Donna Ashworth

Art by Visithra Manikam

Sacred Divine Feminine

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(Pinterest)

McKayla Robbin in her book We Carry The Sky.

Unloved Daughters and the Elusive Nature of Friendship

Unloved Daughters and the Elusive Nature of Friendship Looking at the collateral damage we rarely talk about

BONSOIR MES AMIS! Spirited and sometimes contentious dialogue on the page today. Still raining and chilly here. The Hit Parade of Moomemes continues. Many people have printed this one out and yes, you should say the words out loud. You can also get it on a coffee mug or plaque too at Zazzle. (I don't profit; my collaborator gives her profits away.) Have a lovely Sunday night!

If your mother did not love you,
the way she could have.
your heart is never quite full.

If your mother was not who she perhaps could have been,
your soul is somehow incomplete.

If your inner little girl was not taught how to feel,
your journey is not easy my friend.

But

You owe it to that little girl to learn.
You owe it to her to make love.
You owe it to her to create a world so full of love, that it will eventually out-shadow the demons of your past.

And here’s the thing about that...
Love regenerates.
So make it and watch it blossom in the hearts of those around you.
And watch them pass it on and on and on until you have singlehandedly made enough love, and more, to fill that void you carry and to fill the voids of anyone who crosses your path.

If your mother did not love you, the way she could have,
you have some catching up to do,
But I know you will my friend.
I know you will.

It starts with you.

Poem: Donna Ashworth, IF YOUR MOTHER DID NOT LOVE YOU, From ‘LOVE’

Art: unknown

Albert Camus ❤️

Author: Ijeoma Umebinyuo
Posted from: I need a Viking poetry

Always a good reminder

This is me. I love a starry night

Goodnight Poetry lovers ❤️❤️
(Pinterest)

Unloving Mothers and the Battleground of Meals

Unloving Mothers and the Battleground of Meals How food becomes a symbolic weapon in toxic families.

6 Sources of Tension Between Adult Children and Their Parents

6 Sources of Tension Between Adult Children and Their Parents 1. The assumption of a quid pro quo.

Friendly reminder.....sometimes letting go is the best option.

12 Wrong Assumptions an Unloved Daughter Makes About Life

12 Wrong Assumptions an Unloved Daughter Makes About Life The worst effects of a toxic childhood aren't always obvious.

From pg. 181 in Welcome Home ❤️

How Childhood Trauma Can Lead to Adult Loneliness

How Childhood Trauma Can Lead to Adult Loneliness ...and why victims are so prone to unhealthy partnerships.

How to Make Friends as an Adult

Making friends as an adult is hard!

How to Make Friends as an Adult Assume people like you, and keep showing up.

How to Love Your Partner the Way They Want to Be Loved

How to Love Your Partner the Way They Want to Be Loved It starts with attention, curiosity, and openness.

💛 credit: