Tribeca Therapy

06/03/2024

We all lie—to ourselves and, in turn, to others. Adults lie for many different reasons, whether denying or avoiding a truth, convincing ourselves of something we want to believe, or protecting ourselves from a painful reality.

Read more from Noelani Rodriguez, LCAT, R-DMT: https://tribecatherapy.com/7096/lying-isnt-all-bad-why-and-how-to-be-curious-when-your-kids-dont-tell-the-truth/

05/15/2024

Even if you ultimately choose to go through with an obligation, it is better to know why you are choosing it and to be fully active in your life. Conversely, when something is felt or framed as out of your hands, there is no questioning, shifting, curiosity, or disruption needed. Read more from Senior Therapist Rachael Benjamin, LCSW:

Obligation is also a refusal of your responsibility for the choices you make, how you show up in relationships, and what you do and don’t do

05/06/2024

There has been a lot of recent press about parents and their young adult children remaining closely connected for a much longer time than has been the case traditionally. Read more:

While having a close relationship with your parents can be both helpful and enjoyable, it also can be driven by a less healthy reason: fear.

04/29/2024

Sibling relationships can be immensely complicated—a source of profound intimacy and connection, as well as injury, betrayal, and pain. Siblings have a unique insight into each other as people because they are the keepers of a history that no one else knows about. Read more:

Family therapy for adult siblings can help untangle years of conflict and create a path forward that feels healthier and more fulfilling.

04/25/2024

While the social media discussion about narcissists lacks a lot of nuance, including avoiding any indication that an excess of narcissism is accompanied by a good deal of suffering or that those pointing out narcissists may themselves be struggling with narcissism, it also misses a bigger point about the definition of narcissism itself. Narcissism isn’t just not all bad; in healthy amounts, it can be essential for survival. Continue reading:

While the social media discussion about narcissists lacks a lot of nuance, it also misses a bigger point narcissism itself.

04/23/2024

Polyamorous couples organize their s*x lives in ways that could be informative to monogamous couples. Read more:

The ways polyamorous partners organize their relationships invite monogamous couples to think differently about s*x.

04/19/2024

In case you haven’t noticed, polyamory is hot right now. It’s not as if polyamory—or what used to be typically referred to as open relationships—is a new way of organizing relationships. So, why is polyamory such a currently popular topic, often one written about with a quiet panic? Read more:

In case you haven’t noticed, polyamory is hot right now. So, why is polyamory such a currently popular topic?

04/05/2024

Consider: “I am feeling the urge to apologize right now, how come? Am I trying to apologize just to make this person—and by extension, myself—feel better? Or am I actually sorry and have reflected on why this person feels hurt in the way they do?” Read more:

I previously explored how apologizing can sometimes put pressure on the hurt party to make the transgressor feel better as soon as possible

04/03/2024

You will hurt the people you care about. Ideally, apologizing is a way to own this mistake and make it clear to the person you hurt that you recognize your transgression, take accountability for it, and assure you’ll do your best to ensure it won’t happen again.

However, in some occasions, apologies are used by the apologizer as a way to try to quickly smooth over or fix a situation rather than actually reflecting on what they did wrong or how they have affected the hurt person.

Read more:

You will hurt the people you care about. Ideally, apologies are a way to own this mistake and recognize your transgression.

03/27/2024

Our Founder and Clinical Director Matt Lundquist recently spoke to The Cut about what to look for in a s*x therapist and why talking about s*x is integral to good therapy. Read more:

Matt Lundquist recently spoke to The Cut about what to look for in a s*x therapist and why talking about s*x is integral to good therapy.

03/13/2024

New parents tend to show up to my office in crisis when they are overwhelmed with depression, anxiety, or trauma responses and/or are at an impossible juncture in their relationship. They feel hopeless and trapped while in the throes of new baby responsibility. So many say to me, “Gosh, I wish we would have met sooner!” It always makes me wonder: What if these new parents knew they could have reached out either before or when the pain started postpartum? Read more from Rachael Benjamin, LCSW:

Therapy earlier in postpartum can help get ahead of what this transition raises emotionally before it hits a crisis point.

03/11/2024

In the context of therapy, a mess is not a problem to be fixed or avoided. Instead, messes in therapy can be incredibly fruitful for self-exploration and growth, allowing you to delve into parts of your history, relationships, and feelings that are difficult, complicated, and contradictory. In fact, you ought to be using your therapy to make a productive mess. Read more from Clara Gomez, MA:

Making messes is vital to learning and growing as a child: So too for adults in therapy In the context of therapy, a mess is not a problem to be fixed or avoided. Instead, messes in therapy can be incredibly fruitful for self-exploration and growth, allowing you to delve into parts of your history,....

03/06/2024

As a therapist, I often find myself curious about the concept of seeking out a “good fit” in a therapist. Of course, certain factors feel less malleable like who takes your insurance or where an office is located. But what about other aspects you specifically look for in a therapist you feel must be the best fit for you? Read more: https://tribecatherapy.com/7009/do-i-need-a-therapist-who-shares-my-identity/

02/23/2024

A lot of events can alter the s*xual connection and intimacy in a relationship, from financial concerns to the lasting effects of the pandemic to the sudden busyness of having kids. Drawing on his expertise in couples therapy, Founder and Clinical Director Matt Lundquist recently appeared in Salon and New York Family to speak on how the chemistry between partners can be influenced by a variety of factors. Read more:

A lot of events can alter the s*xual connection and intimacy in a couple's relationship, from financial concerns to having kids.

02/21/2024

When you are overwhelmed, you develop strategies to avoid feeling this. Catastrophizing, or assuming the worst-case scenario, is one of these attempts at avoidance. Read more from Founder & Clinical Director Matt Lundquist in Vox:

Matt Lundquist joins a group of experts on Vox to discuss what’s behind the impulse to catastrophize and how to face the uncertainty head-on.

02/13/2024

Our Senior Therapist and Director of Tribeca Maternity Rachael Benjamin recently spoke to BuzzFeed about ways to be creative with support when you or your friends are struggling. Read more:

Rachael Benjamin recently spoke to Buzzfeed about the 90-day dinner and others ways to be creative when you or your friends are struggling.

02/06/2024

When your values are out of alignment with a friend’s, you frequently have to pretend to be someone you’re not or are no longer in order to “fit in.” This can feel lonely as you have to work harder to be accepted in a way that is not being who you are fully. Read more:

When your values are out of alignment with a friend’s, you frequently have to pretend to be someone you’re not or are no longer to “fit in.”

02/05/2024

While outgrowing friends can be lonely and difficult (more on that in the second part of this two-part series), friendship is best when friends’ values are aligned but not necessarily exactly the same. In a sense, you need to find friends to match your growing self and value system. Read more:

What I’ve found in my therapy practice is that outgrowing friendship often relates to a misalignment of values.

01/31/2024

Our entire bodies have felt every single painful experience and the ones we suppress don’t just disappear. They remain in our bodies—in our muscles, organs, and nervous system—until our bodies signal there is a problem by acting out physical symptoms and pain. Read more:

Our bodies do not throw tantrums for no reason. Often our body is trying to tell us something about hidden emotional pain.

01/30/2024

Our Founder and Clinical Director Matt Lundquist recently spoke to Buzzfeed about the limitations of social media’s examination of toxic relationships, as well as how some people may need to moderate—or abstain completely—from social media. Read more:

Matt Lundquist recently spoke to Buzzfeed about the limitations of social media’s examination of toxic relationships.

01/19/2024

Friends can seem to be everywhere and hard to find at the same time. People assume that everyone else has the right friends and they’re the only ones who feel isolated. Read more:

There are days in my therapy practice when it seems like all I do is talk to patients about being lonely and wanting new friends.

01/18/2024

We’ve fallen in love with the idea of being able to trust our guts, wanting to rely on ourselves to move toward the “right” thing intuitively. The mantra of “trust your gut”—to act upon a feeling with courage, trusting that the existence of the feeling itself is enough to act upon in a forceful confident stride—is both ambitious and appealing. It’s understandable to want to immediately fix what feels off. And in the age where gut health healing is all the rage, it can feel quite difficult to ignore what your gut has to say. Read more:

We’ve fallen in love with the idea of trusting our guts, wanting to rely on ourselves to move toward the “right” thing intuitively.

01/08/2024

Being curious about yourself is a foundational way of caring for yourself. Read more:

The root of the word(s) curious/curiosity traces back to the Latin root for care—cura. I also view care and curiosity as inextricably linked.

01/04/2024

This power of photographs to evoke emotional memories is why I encourage patients to bring more photographs into therapy. Sharing photos with a therapist isn’t about satisfying curiosity or gaining perspective on a patient’s life outside of the therapy office. Talking to a therapist about a particular photograph, as well as everything it evokes, can actually be key to healing. Read more:

This power of photographs to evoke emotional memories is why I encourage patients to bring more photographs into therapy.

12/21/2023

When choosing whether or not to go home for the holidays, there is a tendency to ignore feelings that conflict with our decisions:

When deciding whether or not to go home for the holidays, there is a tendency to ignore feelings that conflict with our decisions.

12/12/2023

We’re excited to share that our Founder and Clinical Director Matt Lundquist was recently featured in Metro UK, The New York Post, and Vox, addressing, respectively, responses to childfree couples, affairs between coworkers at holiday parties, and navigating speaking to loved ones about health concerns. Check it out:

We’re excited to share that our Founder and Clinical Director Matt Lundquist was recently featured in Metro UK, The New York Post, and Vox.

12/11/2023

Parents frequently express concern—or roll their eyes—about their teens’ “weird” niche interests, styles, or views about the world and worry about what other kids at school will think. However, I have repeatedly found that what parents report as odd are both the greatest sources of joy for their teenagers and profoundly cool. For parents, the truth is teens are cooler than you. Continue reading:

Teens’ interests that parents see as odd are not only one of the greatest sources of life force, they’re also profoundly cool

12/07/2023

Kids know and observe a lot more than we imagine, from fairly benign topics to scary ones. There is a sort of unconscious deal that parents make with children. Parents pretend kids don’t overhear their arguments, notice their moods, and pick up on conversations about work stress or conflicts with friends and relatives. Kids pretend they don’t either. This isn’t necessarily all bad. Sometimes it’s fine to know things but keep quiet and learn to respect that certain topics don’t need to be talked about. Continue reading:

There can be a risk that kids will grow up to become adults who, in varying ways, become really skilled at avoiding.

12/04/2023

We bring our stature, our breath, and how we move in and out of space into the therapy room. These can all be raw data. For instance, on a basic level, symptoms like anxiety, fear, and depression show up in our bodies. We jump at the sound of the buzzer. We slouch when talking about our mother. The panic is so bad that our knees are shaking. Continue reading:

Remote therapy is bad for therapists. Patients should want their therapist to be in the office of a collaborative group practice.

11/21/2023

No matter how difficult, stressful, or enraging, it can feel easier to just try to get through the family’s craziness for the holidays and then, return to the life we built rather than attempt something new for the holidays. It’s a sh*tty deal, but it’s one that we’re used to. However, this can recreate the harm that is so familiar from growing up. Reflecting on family dynamics rather than simply enacting them or allowing them to play out in old patterns can give us choices in how we do the holidays. Read more:

Reflecting on family dynamics rather than simply enacting them can give us choices in how we go home for the holidays.