Archway House, Newbury Park, CA (2025)

06/07/2024

Do not quit 5 minutes before the miracle.

Life is challenging. That happens to be a fact. Pursuing your goals and dreams will also be challenging, that is a fact. There will be days when you question your ability. There will be days when you tire of the work. There will be times when you compare yourself to others and feel less than, and there will be times when you consider giving up.

I’m here to say that if your dreams are worth having…and they absolutely are, then they are worth fighting for. The fact is, if you won’t fight for them, no one else will. Push through the pain. Push through the doubt because on the other side of all of that are your dreams. I also want you to know if it gets too hard, ask for help. No one needs to go through this life alone. Know this. I got you. ✍🏻”

06/04/2024

On Monday, I had the absolute privilege of delivering a very collaborative workshop to the incredible team at Green Econome. This team is on the leading edge of helping companies navigate today’s environmental, social, and governance requirements, and the work they do is literally award-winning. During our time together, we covered how to develop an elite mindset, unshakable self-confidence, and the resilience and courage to turn adversity into an advantage. In my team experiences, we turn evidence-based strategies into actionable steps to improve performance and the well-being of team members. It is amazing to work with leaders like Marika Erdely who value investing in their team.

🧠✍🏻If you are ready to improve the performance and leadership skills of your team and build the confidence that will enable you to achieve results, it’s time to talk. I am now booking organizational workshops and keynotes for July. Send me a message, and let’s have a conversation.

06/04/2024

We only have so much attention to give to this world. We have to choose very wisely where we place that attention.

There are so many things associated with the outcomes and results we desire in our lives that are out of our control. Placing a focus on things that are out of our control creates anxiety and, more importantly, distracts us from what is within our control.

Focusing on behavior means recognizing that we are in control of our own actions, choices, and responses. It empowers us to take ownership of our lives and embrace a commitment to the daily process of action. When we prioritize our behaviors, we become more proactive, adaptable, and able to learn from both successes and failures. You see, failure is not final, but quitting is.

I believe success is determined by how well we understand and focus on things within our control. Do you want to influence things that are out of your control? Then go all in on the things that are in your control.

What’s in your control? A number of things. Let me break it down for you:
🗣️ What comes out of your mouth,
🧠 How you think, and
👀💪🏼🦵🏻🏃🏿‍♀️ What your eyes, arms, and legs do.

Ask yourself in every single moment, what is your attention on right now, and is it in your control or not?

✍🏻

🧠💪🏼✍🏻 If you are ready to improve the performance and leadership skills of your team and build the confidence that will achieve results, it’s time to talk. Now booking organizational workshops and keynotes for July. Send me a message, and let’s have a conversation.”

06/02/2024

Mental toughness is not about avoiding challenges or never having setbacks; that would be unrealistic. Mental toughness is having the ability to see every setback as a stepping stone to success. It is the ability to look at losses as learning opportunities and use failures as feedback for growth. Those who succeed the most actually fail the most.

🎾 Novak Djokovic has won the most grand slams….he has also lost the most grand slams.

⚾️ Pete Rose holds the record for most hits. He also holds the record for most making the most outs.

🏀 LeBron James has the most points in NBA history. Today, he is 5 misses away from having the most misses in NBA history.

The fact is winners lose more than most lose, and that what makes them winners. They know every play and day has a life of its own and they refuse to project past mistakes into the next event. When you see feedback in failure you learn and grow.

Lost lately? Good. You may be on your way to winning if you are mentally tough.
✍🏻

06/01/2024

When you write the story of your life, don’t ever let anyone else hold the pen.

Your life is a best seller in the making, and you are the author who holds the power to create something extraordinary. It is easy to get caught up in the opinions and expectations of others in our lives, but remember that this is YOUR life and your pen. You have the pen in your hand, and it is up to you to write the chapters that support the life you want.

Don’t ever, and I mean ever, allow anyone else to dictate how your story is written. Embrace your uniqueness, your passions, and your dreams. Let your voice be heard, your ideas be explored, and pursue your goals. The world needs your story, your perspective, and your voice.

There will be obstacles and challenges along the way, but remember that they are just plot twists in the amazing narrative of your life. Embrace them as opportunities for growth and transformation. Don’t let the fear of failure or the judgments of others hold you back. You have the power to overcome, to learn, and to rewrite your story with confidence and resilience.

Surround yourself with people who believe in your dreams and support your journey. Seek inspiration from those who have dared to write their own stories and have achieved greatness. But always remember that the ultimate author of your life is you.

So, pick up that pen, my friends, and write your story with courage, passion, and authenticity. Paint the pages with love, laughter, and adventure. Let your story be a testament to your strength, your dreams, and the person you were meant to become.

When you write the story of your life, don’t ever let anyone else hold the pen. It is your masterpiece what are you writing today. .

🧠✍🏻If you’re ready to improve the performance and leadership skills of your team and build unshakable confidence to achieve results, it’s time to talk. I am now Booking Organizational and team Workshops and Keynotes for July. Send me a message and let’s have a conversation.

05/31/2024

Hidden pain is still painful.

In today’s world, we are constantly bombarded with images that make it seem like everyone else’s lives are amazing. We compare our insides to others outsides and seem to always come up short. This can leave us feeling anxious, inadequate, thinking and even believing that we don’t measure up.

But let me tell you, just because someone appears to have it all together on the outside doesn’t mean they aren’t carrying a heavy burden. We all face life’s challenges in our own unique ways. I’ve sat with people in their mansions that have massive bank accounts, yet they are struggling in ways that would astonish you, just to make it through another day.

So here’s the solution:

1️⃣ Don’t make assumptions about others. Instead, approach them with compassion, understanding, and curiosity. Don’t assume you know what they’re really going through. The words of Don Miguel Ruiz from the 4 agreements ring true here. Dont make assumptions.

2️⃣ Focus on your own opinion of yourself. Nurture the growth and development of your self-esteem by living with integrity and following through on your commitments. This is how you build a strong sense of self-worth.

Remember, your external world is a reflection of your internal world. Keep that fire within you burning bright. 🔥🔥

05/29/2024

READ THE STORY AND MESSAGE BELOW:

We can’t always know what someone else is going through. You need to understand that appearances can be deceiving.

Let me share a personal story to provide some context and a reality check. This picture is from 2007. My company had just completed a complex six-year, $80 million development of a large retail center in South Orange County, California, which was one of the most significant projects of my career. From the outside it appeared like things were going very well for me.

At that time, I displayed all the trappings of success. I was a partner in a major retail development company and involved in many large projects. I was married with two wonderful children and had acquired material wealth at a young age. That was the external image I portrayed.

This was not the whole story. Internally, I was struggling with feelings of loneliness, depression, and battling addiction to drugs and alcohol. I was overweight and disconnected from reality, living a double life that was incongruent with my outer appearance. Looking at that picture, I barely remember it, as I was still digging a hole for myself, unaware that I would hit rock bottom a year later.

I share this story to provide perspective and emphasize that life is an inside job. What we don’t deal with in our lives will eventually deal with us. I also want to highlight that we can never truly know what others are going through. So, it’s essential not to be swayed by external images without understanding the reality of someone’s life.

Remember, appearances can be deceiving, and true understanding requires empathy and recognizing that everyone has their own struggles beneath the surface. ✍🏻

05/27/2024

Thank you to the brave men and women who fought for our freedom. 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸

05/26/2024

The Gold Rush wins in Chicago. We are writing a great story. ✍🏻

On the road, - GOOD
Big underdog-GOOD
Bad weather- GOOD

Keep building together boys. 💪🏼🏉✍🏻

05/26/2024

You just don’t know!

You just don’t know what someone else has been through or what someone else may be going through right now.

During mental health awareness month I am stressing compassion, curiosity and understanding as substitutes for assumptions and judgement.

As I came forward as a survivor of domestic violence and violent child abuse, the most common reaction of even my closest friends was “I had no idea”. Well of course they had no idea, because I didn’t want anyone to know. I was ashamed and scared that should anyone find out they would know something was wrong with me.

Had you observed my behavior you would have seen a few things. First I was socially awkward and lived in fear of others perception of me. I was seeking attention in negative ways and was often the class clown or just disruptive in school or activities.

I was bullied, made fun of often and coward in most of those situations. My teachers labeled me learning disabled and placed me in special needs classes which made for more insecurity and ridicule.

What no one did was take a moment to consider what I might have been going through. There was judgement and assumptions but little empathy, compassion or curiosity.

Durning mental health awareness month let’s begin to step back and be compassionate and caring of others that are struggling and offer support and encouragement. Remember you just don’t always know what someone else has been through. ✍🏻

05/26/2024

THE SEPERATION IS IN YOUR PREPARATION

I love this quote by Sun Tzu from the book “Art of War”.

Sun Tzu’s quote reminds us that true success lies in the physical and mental preparation and prior to the competition. By approaching the competition as a “warrior” who has already won through diligent preparation, we can enter the competition with the confidence, focus, and mindset that comes from knowing we are well prepared and should expect to achieve our goal.

Train three things. Body mind and skills.

1. Physical Conditioning: Just like warriors need to be physically fit for battle, we need to prioritize our physical conditioning to achieve peak performance. This includes a well-rounded training program that incorporates strength, endurance, flexibility, and recovery exercises.

2. Mental Preparation: A strong mental conditioning program is crucial for success in any performance. Mental preparation skills such as visualization, goal setting, positive self-talk, and mindfulness are essential. By visualizing achieving the desired outcomes, setting clear goals, maintaining a positive mindset, and staying present in the moment, we cultivate mental resilience, focus, and confidence.

3. Strategic Planning: Just as warriors devise strategies before entering battle, athletes should develop a comprehensive game plan for their competition. This involves analyzing their opponents, identifying their strengths and weaknesses, and identifying our process for success. Strategic planning provides us with a competitive edge and increases their chances of success.

Win before you go to war by creating your success checklist because the separation in performance is in the preparation of training. ✍🏻

05/25/2024

Be relational not transactional.

In every situation of my life the one priority I have over all others is relationships with people. I believe the primary purpose of being on this planet is to impact others in a positive way. Theodore Roosevelt puts this perfectly when he said “people don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care”

To be the best version of ourselves in service to others is an incredible goal. What that means is work on myself and see how I can serve others.

I have maintained continuous sobriety for over 16 years. The. #1 strategy, above all others, has been consistently giving away what was given to me. This is the essence of the 12th step in recovery but also a worthy goal for us all. Seek to serve, and make someone feel special today. ✍🏻

05/23/2024

Are you living in alignment with your goals?

This remains one of the foundational questions in my daily mental preparation work. I have to look at my goals and then immediately look at my calendar to see if my behaviors match my objectives. I have professional, physical, personal and relational goals in my life. It is critical that I evaluate if the behaviors I engage in support those goals.

The answer for me has not always been yes. That time in my life created a very large integrity gap between what I said I wanted and how I was behaving. The integrity gap leads to shame and guilt which I often would cover up with unhealthy behaviors. For me that included alcohol and drug which lead to a major substance abuse issue. For others it’s procrastination, video games, Netflix or gambling. The price always gets paid.

This simple assessment question followed by a quick start-stop -continue exercise will help keep you on track.

Is what you want consistent with what you do? Let’s not lie to ourselves. ✍🏻

05/21/2024

Your decisions will determine your destiny.

Every moment of every day we get to make a decision about how we will show up in this world. We make decisions about the things we do and the things we decide not to do. Those decisions each have a life of their own and have absolutely both to do with the decisions you made yesterday or last year.

I have made some terrible decisions in my life. As a recovering alcoholic and drug addict there are decisions I look back on with a certain amount of shame and regret. How could I not. They do not reflect my character today at all.

My character today is a reflection of the decisions I have made in the years following getting sober and changing my life. Physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually I am a very different man. Do not let the decisions of the past negatively influence the decisions of your today. Ok.
✍🏻

05/20/2024

Don’t Catch Destination Disease

Many people make the mistake of constantly seeking happiness in external factors or future circumstances. They believe that happiness lies somewhere far away or in attaining certain goals or material possessions. By doing this we are significantly cheating ourselves because we are creating a narrative of conditional happiness. I’ll be happy when. The problem is that when that “thing” arrives you will be conditioned to look for something else to make you happy.

True wisdom lies in recognizing that happiness is not found in distant places or future achievements but rather in cultivating it within oneself and in the present moment. Let’s embrace gratitude for what we have in every moment and understand that happiness is not something to be found, but rather something to be nurtured within ourselves. ✍🏻

05/19/2024

Another chapter written for our season but the story isn’t done✍🏻

Let’s keep building boys. 🦬🦬🦬🦬🦬

05/18/2024

Like all of us I have faced a tremendous amount of adversity in my life. I grew up in a home plagued by domestic violence. I was violently abused in ways that threatened my life. I and have battled alcoholism and addiction.

However, the biggest adversary I ever faced was none of those things. It was ME. That’s right it was Charlie vs Charlie and for a lot of years the worst of me was winning. I was a victim of my circumstances and I gave those circumstances the power over my life. I choose unhealthy behavior to numb the pain and piled on shame and guilt. A victim is its own worst enemy. I was losing the battle with myself and giving the pen to the story of my life to everyone else.

The change began when I took the pen back to my life. I embraced my inner champion and began to slowly build healthy habits that supported the life I was writing about. If you want to change you have to own your own your pen.

Understand that every setback, every obstacle becomes a stepping stone on our path to greatness. We learn to view failures as valuable lessons, opportunities for growth and self-improvement. With each challenge we overcome, we become stronger, more resilient, and more confident in our abilities.

It’s your life and your pen….What are you writing today. ✍🏻

05/17/2024

Seperation is in Preparation.

I was struck by how PGA golfer Scottie Scheffler spent his time in jail this morning. He was obviously in a situation he was not familiar with and the uncertainty of the moment was probably unsettling at best but he went through his pre-round warmup.

Some observations

✅ You can be a victim of circumstance or a creator of our reality.

✅ You can make excuses or make it happen.

✅ You can focus on what’s out of your control or what’s in your control.

✅You can hold the hurt and the hope in the same moment.

To me this may be the most neutral you can get. Neutral says we accept reality and focus on the next right step. We ask what’s important now and what is one thing I can do to make this situation better. Scottie ended getting released and shot a better score today that yesterday. How’s that for turning adversity into an advantage. Not only that but he bogeyed the second hole and came back on the 3rd with a birdie. His bounce back stats just keep impressing.

I don’t want to finish without acknowledging the loss of life this morning at Valhalla and the family of Mr.Mills who passed away. Thoughts go out to his family 🙏🏻❤️

Archway House

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