Regan Hovey, M.S., AMFT, APCC

09/30/2022

The ability to welcome what arrives at the figurative “doorstep” of my life is a daily practice in a few areas:
1) Discernment: what is mine and what’s an accidental Amazon package that belongs to my neighbor/family/friend
2) Acceptance: welcoming the package or making a return.
3)Decision: Maybe the sweater doesn’t look like the photos. Maybe the new relationship brings joy and anxiety (vulnerability and all that)

Through daily practice I’ve come to find fear and resentment grow in proportion to the distance I have put between myself and “unwanted” visitors. When I’ve sought to turn away or ignore “difficult guests” they have wrecked entire guest houses I’ve resurrected.

My ability to be present hinges on my willingness to see what is true for me, even when what’s true is not preferred or desired. To hold myself and my experience with kindness to recognize and embrace my hurts and fears.

05/18/2021

Much has been written about the importance of telling your story. To say the words would give credence to the parts of a story you may have worked hard to ignore and not process. Consequently you have carried around these exiled parts. To narrate your story might affirm your beautifully particular place in the fabric of all there is, HOWEVER, it might also reveal a place you’ve never been because you’ve dedicated a lifetime of time and energy to fit your square peg into a round hole.

The weight of truth can lend itself to a sense of burden and expectancy that constrains us or a powerful force that propels us through acknowledgement and acceptance. Depending on how it’s wielded, the truth can be YOUR LOCK OR YOUR KEY.

05/18/2021

Much has been written about the importance of telling your story. To say the words would give credence to the parts of a story you may have worked hard to ignore and not process. Consequently you have carried around these exiled parts. To narrate your story might affirm your beautifully particular place in the fabric of all there is, HOWEVER, it might also reveal a place you’ve never been because you’ve dedicated a lifetime of time and energy to fit your square peg into a round hole.

The weight of truth can lend itself to a sense of burden and expectancy that constrains us or a powerful force that propels us through acknowledgement and acceptance. Depending on how it’s wielded, the truth can be YOUR LOCK OR YOUR KEY.

04/23/2021

We all want to feel effective—no matter if it relates to work, school, relationships, parenting etc. However, when what we do undermines a sense of effectiveness it can lead to a feeling of exhaustion, which can compound to result in the experience of burnout. When the value or rationale for doing what you are doing becomes murky, the tendency can be to just do what feels like hard work, without much thought or consideration of the utility.

The resulting curiosity for me becomes about leaning into both your EXPERIENCE and EXPECTATIONS. Asking how am I experiencing this? How is this impacting me? What do I expect from myself? What do I know others expect of me? (Ex. showing up to work or taking your kids to school) What do I *think* others expect from me? (Ex. Perfection, 24/7 availability, constant positivity).

02/10/2021

Chaos can be understood as the lack of affect regulation where things feel unstable or out of control. Rigidity conversely can be understood as an inability to be changed and seeking to assert control over ALL the things.

Life is a paradox that requires us to hold the tension of things that on the surface don't always seem to make sense and find the balance. In Buddhism it’s often referred to as the middle path/way, Jung called it Anima/Animus, DBT says wisemind, Dan Siegel calls it the river of integration. Whatever you want to call it, is often found in the middle of comfort and pain, self-acceptance and change/self-improvement, rigidity and chaos, life and death.

How can you meet yourself in the middle today?

11/01/2020

Come and hang out with Regan Hovey and Renee Lorch of S.A.G.E. Holistic Health and Wellness Center tomorrow afternoon (Sunday, Nov 1st) at 12:30pm (PST) as we chat about EMPATHY. We will go LIVE in our Facebook S.A.G.E. Holistic Group (link in bio).

Stop by if you are curious to learn more about what it means to be an empath, or if you already identify as an HSP. Join us as we discuss the gift of empathy and how we both work with this population to navigate an emotional world and tips on how to avoid burnout.

10/19/2020

What do you hope for?

Hi. This is me, holding on to my community for balance and support. It’s also from my yoga teacher 200 hour training. Both of which (reaching out for support and yoga) are mostly done virtually these days.

The consistent state of transition that’s occurred inside the last few months has brought a lot of challenges and reminders that balance (similar to love a la ) is a verb.

Largely because change is a process. The outcome of which is uncertain. However, it is only under the constraints of uncertainty that HOPE is able to bloom. What is it that you are hoping for in the midst of the uncertainty?

10/19/2020

Hi. This is me, holding on to my community for balance and support. It’s also from my yoga teacher 200 hour training. Both of which (reaching out for support and yoga) are mostly done virtually these days.

The consistent state of transition that’s occurred inside the last few months has brought a lot of challenges and reminders that balance (similar to love a la ) is a verb.

Largely because change is a process. The outcome of which is uncertain. However, it is only under the constraints of uncertainty that HOPE is able to bloom. What is it that you are hoping for in the midst of the uncertainty?