Wisdom Within Counseling, LLC

Wisdom Within Counseling, LLC Helping couples, children, and teenagers build meaningful connections and positive coping strategies

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07/17/2025

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Your Partner Feels So Far Away: Understanding Avoidant Attachment Style in Marriage CounselingIf you’re in a relationshi...
07/04/2025

Your Partner Feels So Far Away: Understanding Avoidant Attachment Style in Marriage Counseling

If you’re in a relationship where it feels like you’re constantly reaching for your partner—but they keep pulling away—you’re not alone. Maybe, every time you try to talk about emotions or closeness, they shut down, change the subject, or act like nothing’s wrong. You’re not making this up. What you’re feeling, being ignored, the importance, rejection, and the loneliness, is real. And, what your spouse has is an avoidant attachment style. When you are running fights because your spouse has an avoidant attachment style, marriage counseling can help you co-create a secure attachment style. Your spouse’s avoidant attachment style is pushing you two apart and you need professional couples therapy. Emotionally Focused Therapy for high conflict couples at Wisdom Within Counseling with Katie Ziskind in Connecticut is exactly what you need to rebuild meaningful connection.

When you have an anxious attachment style, you’ve been craving closeness. You are deeply yearning for that emotional warmth, that feeling of being truly seen by your partner.

But instead, you’re met with silence, shutdowns, irritation, yelling, and distance. Maybe, they retreat into work, pour another alcohol drink, or spend hours consumed by po*******hy. And, here you are, left holding the emotional weight of the relationship. You are trying to keep your marriage connection alive while feeling like you’re loving someone who keeps disappearing and pulling away. In your marriage, it is really difficult to feel secure and safe because you are screaming for your avoidant spouse to give you comfort and love you.

Having a dismissive mother or emotionally explosive and militant father leads to an anxious attachment style. Your anxious attachment style is not your fault. It is a survival mechanism from trauma. The harder you try to bridge the gap, the wider it feels. And deep down, it’s breaking your heart.

A reactive cycle of anger and the silent treatment in your marriage is only the surface issue. These fights are redundant, frustrating, and leave you feeling hopeless and powerless.

Fighting over s*x or chores is only the surface.

With Katie Ziskind’s professional expertise in this specialized area of high conflict couples counseling, you can rebuild your couple bubble. From couples counseling, you gain skills to build a secure attachment by fostering emotional attunement skills and validation tools.

Common issues high conflict couples often face:

Frequent, unresolved arguments that escalate quickly
One partner shuts down while the other pursues (“pursue-withdraw” cycle)
Mistrust due to betrayal, secrecy, or past infidelity
Poor emotional regulation and reactivity
Difficulty expressing needs without criticism or defensiveness
Feeling misunderstood, unheard, ignored, or emotionally invisible
Deep-seated resentment that builds over time
Lack of physical intimacy, affection, or emotional closeness
Avoidance of difficult conversations or emotional vulnerability
Repeating the same fights without resolution or change

An avoidant attachment style can be changed into a secure bond through Emotionally Focused Therapy for high conflict couples at Wisdom Within Counseling with Katie Ziskind. It is a survival strategy, that developed in childhood.

Wisdom Within Counseling offers the speciality of high conflict couples therapy via telehealth video and in person near Westbrook, Old Saybrook, Ess*x, Deep River, Chester, Madison, Killingworth, Guilford, Branford, East Haven, North Branford, Old Lyme, Lyme, East Lyme, Niantic, Durham, Haddam, and Middletown, Connecticut.

Right now, you feel like roommates, not lovers. So unimportant, unseen, and alone.

This is therapy for those who don’t want a cookie-cutter experience. You’ll receive custom sessions that often go beyond the standard 50-minute model. Most couples benefit from our 90-minute sessions. A 90-minute length allows for emotional depth and resolution rather than leaving in the middle of a crisis.

Our couples therapists believe in quality over quantity, spaciousness over rush, and true emotional repair over band-aid fixes. Your fights may appear to be about s*x, money, the dishes, or who puts which child to bed. But, they are much deeper.

At Wisdom Within Counseling, you can expect a trauma-informed, somatically integrated, emotionally focused experience.

Katie Ziskind specializes with high conflict couples needing a Gottman trained marriage therapist and certified s*x therapy informed professional.

Katie Ziskind will go there with you. She’ll help you uncover the buried fears, unmet needs, and protective patterns that drive your worst fights. You can talk openly about s*xual desires, boundaries, fantasies, needs, and performance anxiety.

FAQ’s

Why is inner child work important in couples therapy?
Many high-conflict fights stem from childhood emotional wounds—times when you felt unloved, unheard, or not good enough. Katie Ziskind helps couples explore these early experiences, not to blame, but to understand the emotional root of their reactivity. By healing those parts, couples can create a more secure and connected present.

Can Katie Ziskind help us if we’re considering divorce but still love each other?
Yes. Katie Ziskind is a trauma and high conflict couples therapy specialist. She offers specialized therapy for couples on the brink of divorce who want to give their relationship one last, deeply supported chance. Her process helps you identify core emotional needs, rebuild communication, and decide from a place of clarity—not chaos—whether to reconnect or part ways.

How can marriage therapy with Katie Ziskind help couples dealing with trauma and PTSD?
Katie Ziskind’s approach addresses how unresolved trauma and PTSD patterns show up in relationships through shutdowns, explosive arguments, or emotional withdrawal. Through a gentle, emotionally focused method, Katie Ziskind helps each partner feel safe, regulated, and understood, so they can stop reacting from old wounds and start responding with compassion and connection.

What makes Katie Ziskind an expert in couples therapy for high-conflict marriages?
Katie Ziskind is a licensed marriage and family therapist who specializes in working with couples on the brink of divorce. She combines Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), trauma-informed care, and somatic healing to help partners break out of destructive fight cycles, reconnect emotionally, and rebuild trust from the inside out.

How does unresolved trauma contribute to high-conflict arguments in my relationship?
When trauma isn’t processed, it lives in your body and nervous system. You may find yourself overreacting or shutting down during small disagreements because your brain is interpreting your partner’s tone or behavior as a threat. Fights get very intense and both of you get flooded. Katie Ziskind helps couples recognize these trauma responses and shift from reactivity to emotional regulation.

Can childhood trauma really affect how I fight with my partner as an adult?
Absolutely. If you grew up with emotional neglect, criticism, or unpredictability, your nervous system learned to survive by either defending, avoiding, or pleasing. In your marriage, these early adaptations and trauma survival mechanisms show up. You and your spouse get into explosive fights, emotional shutdowns, or people-pleasing patterns that make conflict feel impossible to resolve. Understanding how current fights have roots in childhood trauma helps break the cycle of anger, rejection, abandonment, feeling invisible, hurt, and powerless in your marriage.

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Read more of our new article:

Emotionally focused couples therapy helps high conflict couples with avoidant attachment styles build intimacy. Telehealth video, Connecticut

Notes on Love by          ❤️
07/03/2025

Notes on Love by ❤️

Our waiting area in Niantic, Connecticut and office door.
06/30/2025

Our waiting area in Niantic, Connecticut and office door.

Welcome to Wisdom Within Counseling!
06/30/2025

Welcome to Wisdom Within Counseling!

Happy Summer!
06/30/2025

Happy Summer!

Struggling with low libido or mismatched s*xual desire? Is your s*x life feeling like another awkward thing on the to do...
06/11/2025

Struggling with low libido or mismatched s*xual desire? Is your s*x life feeling like another awkward thing on the to do list or a chore? Maybe, you’ve stopped having s*x or feel like two ships passing in the night. S*x is often avoided because it brings up anxiety, rejection, shame, and avoidance. Episode 107 is now available on Apple podcasts and Spotify, and helps couples struggling with low s*xual desire understand why this happens and how to rebuild physical and emotional intimacy. You’re not broken if you don’t have any interest in s*x or have a low libido. Let’s talk about s*xual reconnection from a holistic perspective. Katie Ziskind is a certified s*x therapy informed professional, Gottman level two marriage therapist, and trauma specialist.

06/07/2025
Are you and your spouse getting into intense, high conflict fights where you feel hopeless and hurt afterwards? 😡Or, are...
05/28/2025

Are you and your spouse getting into intense, high conflict fights where you feel hopeless and hurt afterwards?

😡Or, are you shutting down entirely, not speaking, avoiding conflict altogether, and pretending like your conflicts are not even there, but there really is an elephant in the room?

😬Wondering more about how anxious and avoidant attachment styles play a role in your marriage disconnection?

🧑‍🧑‍🧒‍🧒Did you know there are childhood traumas and deeper childhood wounds that drive anxious and avoidant attachment styles?

💍Marriage counseling that is emotionally focused, and Gottman and Imago-based can help you co-create true intimacy, security, and connection. Katie Ziskind is a trauma trained couples therapist who specializes in anxious attachment and avoidant attachment styles.

❤️She specializes in teaching couples how to shift from anger, hurt, and fear and into connection, vulnerability, playfulness, and security.

Full Blog Post Here

➡️ https://wisdomwithinct.com/katie-ziskind-is-a-trauma-trained-couples-therapist-who-specializes-in-anxious-attachment-and-avoidant-attachment-styles-teaching-frustrated-couples-on-the-brink-of-divorce-how-to-build-security-emo/

❤️ Book your couples therapy session on our website! ❤️

Are you and your spouse getting into intense, high conflict fights where you feel hopeless and hurt afterwards? 😡Or, are...
05/28/2025

Are you and your spouse getting into intense, high conflict fights where you feel hopeless and hurt afterwards?

😡Or, are you shutting down entirely, not speaking, avoiding conflict altogether, and pretending like your conflicts are not even there, but there really is an elephant in the room?

😬Wondering more about how anxious and avoidant attachment styles play a role in your marriage disconnection?

🧑‍🧑‍🧒‍🧒Did you know there are childhood traumas and deeper childhood wounds that drive anxious and avoidant attachment styles?

💍Marriage counseling that is emotionally focused, and Gottman and Imago-based can help you co-create true intimacy, security, and connection. Katie Ziskind is a trauma trained couples therapist who specializes in anxious attachment and avoidant attachment styles.

❤️She specializes in teaching couples how to shift from anger, hurt, and fear and into connection, vulnerability, playfulness, and security.

Full Blog Post Here

➡️ https://wisdomwithinct.com/katie-ziskind-is-a-trauma-trained-couples-therapist-who-specializes-in-anxious-attachment-and-avoidant-attachment-styles-teaching-frustrated-couples-on-the-brink-of-divorce-how-to-build-security-emo/

❤️ Book your couples therapy session on our website! ❤️

trauma trained couples therapist who specializes in anxious attachment and avoidant attachment styles, PTSD marriage counselor, Katie Ziskind

05/24/2025

Join us for a special story time here in the Children's Department with Carina Allen!
All are welcome!

Monday, June 9 | 4:00-4:30 p.m.
Story Room

If you’ve ever found yourself stuck in a relationship where your needs don’t matter, where you’re constantly trying to e...
05/23/2025

If you’ve ever found yourself stuck in a relationship where your needs don’t matter, where you’re constantly trying to earn love from someone who once swept you off your feet—but now gaslights, criticizes, or even cheats—you’re not alone. So many women who identify as codependent end up in these painful cycles, giving and giving, hoping for scraps of validation. You deserve more. You deserve tenderness, emotional safety, and a love that lifts you up—not tears you down. This is your reminder: your worth isn’t based on how much you can endure. It’s time to come back to you. 💛

At Wisdom Within Counseling, we help women just like you break these painful patterns and reclaim their self-worth. You don’t have to keep losing yourself in relationships that hurt. You can learn to set boundaries, rediscover your voice, and feel confident in your skin again. You are not too much. You are not too needy. You are a woman who deserves to feel safe, seen, and loved.

✨ Book your healing session today with Katie Ziskind, trauma-informed therapist and relationship specialist, at www.wisdomwithinct.com. You’re worthy of real love—the kind that starts from within. 💛

Growing up with a father who is narcissistic, alcoholic, and emotionally unstable can deeply impact your sense of safety, identity, and worth. As a child, you may have learned to read the room constantly, walking on eggshells to avoid triggering his moods or outbursts. You likely became a people-pleaser, molding yourself to earn love, approval, or avoid rejection. Over time, this survival pattern can feel like love itself—familiar, even when it hurts. As an adult, you might find yourself attracted to emotionally abusive partners, repeating the same cycle with boyfriends or husbands who manipulate, control, or gaslight you. The chaos feels normal because it mirrors the emotional landscape of your childhood, but it’s not love. It’s trauma, repeating itself until you decide to break free and begin your healing journey.
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Niantic, CT

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Monday 9am - 9pm
Tuesday 9am - 9pm
Wednesday 9am - 9pm
Thursday 9am - 9pm
Friday 9am - 9pm
Saturday 9am - 9pm
Sunday 9am - 9pm

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+18604519364

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