All Things New Counseling Services, LLC

07/18/2025

Some people provide us with a good training ground to practice choosing who we want to be despite who they are being.

Someone else’s choices aren’t your fault. But in order to make it through the process of repairing trust, you need to be able to confront well, be wise in seeing and spotting deception, move beyond bitterness, and grow beyond the past.

06/22/2025

Safe Spaces Post Series - 3

We all need to feel “seen.” If we all improved our practice of truly seeing one another, the world would be a different -and safer- place for us all. You don’t even have to agree with someone to see them. Here are some examples-

- “I hear you expressing that you feel (insert applicable feeling descriptors) about (insert situation).”

This is a basic example of reflective listening.

- “Even if we don’t agree on everything, you are making some good points.”

This is especially helpful during a moment of potential conflict. Things are rarely all or nothing. Even if you mostly disagree, there are often some valid opposing points.

- “Your feelings make sense” or “I can totally understand why you’d feel that way.”

You might not feel the same way, but it is typically deeply affirming when you consider another person’s perspective.

Would you tell me more about your thoughts on (insert topic) so that I can better understand where you are coming from?”

Any time you ask someone to “tell me more,” it conveys that you desire to hear and understand them.

It can change everything when you listen to understand rather than listen to respond/assert your own point/agenda. Offering others what you long for yourself is a way of putting others “first.” If we all put each other first, none of us would feel like we are “last.”

06/19/2025

Some of the most resilient people I meet in trauma therapy don’t look like they’re struggling at all.

They’re highly capable. Driven. Empathetic. They hold it together in public, take care of everyone else, and have mastered the art of “pushing through.”

But here’s the thing:
Functioning isn’t the same as healing.
Adapting to pain isn’t the same as moving beyond it.

Our minds and bodies are incredibly smart when it comes to survival. We learn to cope in ways that help us keep our pain at bay - like staying overly independent, avoiding conflict, overachieving, or putting everyone else’s needs first.

These patterns often start as protection. And they work - until they start getting in the way of what we actually need.

While you might look fine on the outside, your body might still be bracing. Your relationships might still feel distant. Your joy might still feel like something you have to earn.

Healing is what happens when we stop just performing wellness and start tending to the parts of us that never got the chance to feel safe, held, or whole.

It’s slower. It’s messier. It’s deeper.

And it doesn’t mean erasing the ways you adapted. It means understanding them, honoring them - and slowly giving your system permission to live beyond them.

Not perfectly. Not all at once. But in ways that let you feel more present, more connected, and more at home in your own life.

06/13/2025

Excellent explanation of EMDR. It’s my favorite tool to support the natural healing process of the mind and nervous system.

06/10/2025

YES- PTSD can be resolved! I typically do pre- and post- assessments for PTSD symptoms at the start of my work with clients and then again when we are finishing our work. That moment at the end of our work together when the post assessment reveals no sign of PTSD despite the pre assessment registering SEVERE PTSD…those are some of my favorite moments that move me to tears every time! I love watching my clients experience freedom from the things that have held them down and held them back.
Have I mentioned how much I love my work? ❤️

06/10/2025

To all of my clients - I see you, we are working on it, and you’re doing great! ❤️

05/16/2025

“A trigger doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means something inside you is asking to be seen.” ❤️❤️

We usually think of triggers as something to manage, avoid, or get past.

But what if your trigger is actually pointing to a part of you that still feels unsafe? Instead of pushing it away, what if you got curious and asked: what part of me is speaking right now? What is it afraid of? What does it need?

A trigger doesn’t mean you’re failing.

It means something inside you is asking to be seen.

Healing begins when we meet those moments - not with judgment, but with compassion and curiosity.

05/12/2025

Happy Mother's Day especially to the mothers who broke generational cycles!

We’re often so hard on ourselves, by having unrealistic expectations, impossible timelines, and perfectionistic tendencies.

So we have a difficult time acknowledging all the incredible, magical progress we make daily, in the simplest, most meaningful ways.

Tuck yourself into bed tonight and before falling asleep, reflect on all the beautiful ways you have made your life and the lives of your family, friends, and the strangers you meet along the way, more joyful and rewarding.

Remember this has been a challenging time for everyone, in varying degrees, so Be proud of yourself for being here today.💚

(You healed your wounds instead of spreading the pain. That’s strength.-.kenny )

05/12/2025

SAFE SPACES POST SERIES-2

When your nervous system feels safe, you are able to connect with self, others, nature, and God. Your defenses are not activated, you are not constantly running from thing to thing to avoid being still (hyper- arousal) or mindlessly scrolling or engaging in addictive behaviors to avoid being aware (hypo-arousal).

When your nervous system feels safe, you can relax and be authentic. You can freely engage with yourself, others, and the world around you.

When you feel safe and connected, you are also able to access grace- for yourself and for others. There is room for imperfections and mistakes, and you are slow to judge.

Observe yourself. Is your dominate state hyper-arousal? Do you tend to be quick to react? Are you constantly running and “doing?” Do you often engage with others and the world around you as if your head is on fire?

Is your dominate state hypo- arousal? Are you isolating from others? Do you often feel or say things like, “It’s hopeless,” “Things will never change,” or “Why bother?” Do you spend too much time numbly scrolling, binging alcohol, food, television, or feeling chronically apathetic?

Maybe you’re stuck between hyper- and hypo- arousal? You feel an activation or urgency like you’ve got to do SOMETHING, but you feel powerless, stuck, or trapped at the same time.

While sometimes we need a hyper- or hypo- aroused nervous system (more on that later), in order to be healthy, we need to cultivate a life that isn’t dominated by these states.

There are many ways to cue safety for your nervous system. One way is to grab some liquid bubble solution and a bubble wand and gently blow bubbles. This will naturally guide your system to engage slow, deep, diaphragmatic breathing.

Slowing down and being more aware can sometimes feel too threatening for a severely traumatized nervous system. If this is you, you deserve to feel safe, too! Reach out to a counselor specializing in trauma. If you are in the state of Missouri, you can reach out to me, or you can seek another EMDR certified counselor through the EMDR International Association’s find a counselor directory: https://www.emdria.org/find-an-emdr-therapist/

05/05/2025

Here is a superpower that can change the atmosphere and create safe spaces!

05/04/2025

I love how “the gut - brain axis” is finally now a recognized thing.

Learn more: https://technet.works/ProbioGutBrain

05/03/2025

SAFE SPACES POST SERIES-1

“I matter, too!”

Something that drives my passion for my counseling work is that I want to create safe space for people to experience their healing so that when they leave their work with me, they are able to continue to create safe space for themselves. Once we feel safe ourselves we can then also create safety in our interactions and relationships with others. But first things first….

In this context, “safe” means feeling seen, valid, and accepted-including being granted room and grace for your own thoughts and feelings as well as your imperfections and mistakes.

Pay attention to your inner world of thoughts and feelings. Do you notice an internal dialogue that is critical and invalidating and rejecting of yourself? Imagine putting a face on this voice and this persona following you around all day long talking this way to you. Now imagine following someone you love and care for around all day and saying to them what that inner critic is saying to you. I often find my clients are horrified as they begin to recognize this inner critic and what it says to them and about them.

**For those with severely traumatized nervous systems, you may not yet even feel enough safety to do this degree of inner reflection. If you find that is the case, it’s okay. Let’s meet you where you are, because YOU matter, and deserve safe spaces too! Start by seeking out a counselor who specializes in working with trauma to help heal your nervous system. If you are in the state of Missouri, you can reach out to me, or you can seek another EMDR certified counselor through the EMDR International Association’s find a counselor directory: https://www.emdria.org/find-an-emdr-therapist/

You matter! ❤️