The Olive Couch

01/05/2021

Ahhh the enneagram - For some it’s your favorite dinner party conversation topic and the first question you ask when you’re getting to know someone new… For others it’s a funny looking diagram that brings up questions like “What’s with all the weird triangles, and why are there numbers going around that circle and why is number 9 at the top instead of 1?”

My professional counseling experience actually began with meeting with clients as a certified enneagram coach while I was still in my Masters program. I found it to be so fascinating and deeply healing for many of the people I had the opportunity to work with.

I hesitated sharing enneagram info on this account because I started to feel like instagram was saturated with enneagram memes, jargon, type descriptions, etc. Truthfully, I think I just got really burnt out by it…

But as we venture in to 2021, with the intention of AWARENESS for this account… I really can’t think of a better way to build the foundation of self-awareness than through personality work, and more specifically through the enneagram.

Throughout the month of January, we’re going to start with the basics and gradually work down into the intricacies and beauty that the enneagram holds.
Do you know what type you identify with or are you still on the journey of figuring it out? Either way, stay tuned.

11/10/2020

family dynamics... this month I want to get curious about what played out in your family- was it healthy? were you attuned to? Obviously... no family is perfect and we aren’t here to play the blame game but I do believe it’s incredibly helpful to get perspective about the environment that actively led you to become who you are today ✨✨✨ let’s dive in!

10/21/2020

How do I know even what I’m feeling?! A great way to tune in is through checking what your body feels like and what your behavior looks like. Tristan Collins, LPC does a great job of highlighting things we can look for in order to maintain emotional health and tune in to what our emotions might be telling us in a moment ☺️ happy Wednesday everyone!

10/19/2020

😃😉😎😢🥳😭🥰

10/09/2020

the emotion series ☺️

10/07/2020

the foundation for working with our emotion: respect, curiosity and careful handling ✨✨✨ excited to get the emotion series going!

09/29/2020

one of the most asked questions for this series... 🌈how to handle conflict within a friendship🌈

and yes, I’m with you...it can get tough and sometimes a little awkward but I think what I’ve learned is to always *try* (I am still really working towards this) to come at the situation from a vulnerable place of communicating.

“I feel hurt when x,y,z happens.” It’s powerful.

09/29/2020

one of the most asked questions for this series... 🌈how to handle conflict within a friendship🌈

and yes, I’m with you it can get tough and sometimes a little awkward but I think what I’ve learned to *try* (I am still really working towards this) is to come at the situation from a vulnerable place of communication.

09/23/2020

Good reads that build up healthy qualities for friendships ☺️

Daring Greatly- always a book I recommend because it centers around Brene Brown’s research on vulnerability. Without vulnerability, it can be hard to get to the deeper places of relationship and ultimately lead to not feeling seen, known and loved by others in an authentic way. She also reads it on audible so if that’s your choice for books it’s great!

The Relational Soul- we were made for relationship. Wired for it physiologically and without it can create a deep void within us… the spread of loneliness amongst many is rampant. This book does a great job of diving into the idea behind the purpose of relationship with others and what are things that possible hinder us from being able to do so. *it does have faith-based concepts so if that is not something you’re looking for just know ahead of time*

Assertiveness for Women- oh my gosh, I can’t rave about this book enough. Truthfully, I almost didn’t read it because of the bright pink cover (idk why that was such an aversion for me) haha but I’m so glad that I did. The concepts help to connect that ultimately assertiveness is our greatest tool in relationship with others but it requires us to have self-awareness in order to be able to do so. Highly recommend!

“Not Alone” by IF:Gathering: This is actually a study on friendship… you can find it on the ifgathering.com website. It could be a good way to connect with others around the topic of friendship.

Books not pictured but would recommend: Queen Bees and Wannabes, Uninvited, Big Friendship, Friendship: The evolution, biology and extraordinary power of life’s fundamental bond

09/20/2020

09/20/2020

✨The Anatomy of Trust for Friendship✨

Share/Tag a friendship that does this well ☺️

09/16/2020

From strangers to very best friends… when we first interact with someone we don’t ever truly know where that connection will take us. Learning about levels of friendship I think can be helpful because it helps put different relationships into perspective. We can’t put the same expectations on a casual friendship that we can a very best friend and vice versa.

Another idea that is helpful to remember is that friendships also ebb and flow… sometimes we might have someone we are close to in one season and then maybe becomes more of an acquaintance. Sometimes that happens and it doesn’t mean that the relationship has failed or that we have done something wrong (sometimes we have and we need to address that with the person) but again remembering to realize that friendship can come in all different shapes and sizes and just because “closeness” has changed doesn’t mean the friendship has failed, it’s just changed.

Is there anyone that you are acquaintances with and would like to be closer? Ask them to coffee! Do you have any friends that you used to be close to and now the friendship looks different? Thats okay… it can be life… it doesn’t take away from the good, close times you shared rather we can be thankful and know they were brought into our lives for a reason.

Finding friends and recognizing when you come across someone you enjoy is a helpful skill and then choosing to lean into creating opportunities to get closer to that person through shared experiences, sharing life and opening up and being vulnerable all lead to healthy friendships.