02/10/2021
February is International Boost Self-Esteem Month, and with Valentine's Day just around the corner. We tend to think of that special someone in our lives whether it’s our kids, family, friends, or significant other. However, in the age of quarantines and lockdowns, sometimes we need a reminder to think of ourselves as well. What does that have to do with recovery from substance use and mental health disorders? Well… Everything.
Research shows there is a connection between having low self-esteem and becoming addicted — including alcohol/drug addictions, internet compulsions, eating problems, and compulsive buying. In fact, we use alcohol, drugs, or compulsive behaviors to mask our insecurities and make us feel more confident. Yet, those feelings are short-lived. Over time, the effects of addiction or depression in general just make things worse. The resulting financial issues, relationship problems, depression, and anxiety end up harming a person's self-esteem, even more, making recovery more difficult.
Below are five exercises to help rebuild your self-esteem, improve your well-being, and provide a better outlook on life:
1. Reciting Positive Statement/Affirmation to Yourself-This may seem “cheesy” or ingenuine at first but speaking positively to yourself matters. How do you describe yourself – intelligent, stupid, beautiful, ugly, kind? The labels we assign ourselves are endless and often, the negatives outweigh the positives. Reciting a positive statement eventually changes the way you feel about yourself. Pay attention to your self-talk and how critical you are. Avoid nit-picking each flaw you have. An example of an affirmation could be “I am proud of myself”. Say it out loud every day for a month.
2. Forgiving Yourself for Past Mistakes- Forgiveness is a deliberate decision to let go of feelings of anger and resentment toward someone who has wronged you. While we might be generous in our ability to forgive others, often we are harder on ourselves. To forgive yourself: A) take responsibility for your actions; B) feel your guilt but move on; C) make amends where possible, and D) focus on what you learned and how you have grown.
3. Accept Compliments Gracefully- Sometimes those with low self-esteem have difficulty accepting and benefiting from compliments from other people. This hurts your self-esteem. When someone gives you a compliment: A) resist the urge to dismiss it; B) mindfully assume the compliment is sincere; C) say thank you and enjoy it, D) note how the compliment reflects your strengths.
4. Begin Making Changes- Everyone has things they would like to change in their own lives, or in the lives of those around them. For those with addictions or depression, change happens in stages. If a major change seems like too much, break it down into smaller acts. Choose to do one thing a day or once a week – whatever you feel you’ll follow through on. With each small change, inwardly celebrate your success in moving toward your goal. Even if your goal takes longer, you’re still making progress.
5. Practice Self-Care- Taking better care of yourself is one of the quickest ways to provide an instant self-esteem boost, but also one of the easiest things to ignore when you are not feeling up to the task. Practicing self-care takes effort and we can all find reasons not to do it. Maybe daily life, stress, or clinical depression has gotten in the way. Self-care means focusing on yourself and your needs, through things like getting sufficient sleep, nourishing your body appropriately, engaging in daily hygiene, and participating in activities that promote a sense of peace and well-being.
Achieving healthy self-esteem is a process. Yet, by using some of the approaches mentioned above, you may find that life looks a bit brighter. Boosting your self-esteem may not cure your clinical depression, anxiety, or other struggles, but it can create a sense of resilience during difficult and stressful times. The biggest takeaway is thatyou DO deserve to be kind to yourself.
