Dr. Eva Benmeleh Therapy

02/10/2026

What comes after shadow work is silence - stillness. - preparation for the next phase of integration.

Then, you realize why you resisted it for so long.
After that, you realize why it had to be you.
Next, you’ll experiment with it.
Until the experience stops being painful or effortful and it just is.

Shoutout to for your words of wisdom today.
Shoutout to the friends, family, therapists, books, drums, experiences that do what no insight can do alone.

02/09/2026

So what can happen when a parent gets involved?

They deal with the reasons why reality wasn’t matching their expectations,
They come up with a plan,
They put it to the test,
They see how it works,
They reach a new level of understanding,
System begins to function again.

Seeing your role in co-creating the issue your child is experiencing is one of the most freeing moments because you realize you have the power to make a shift in your life and theirs.

When we see how we are replaying old and outdated belief systems with the people we love the most - we can steer our life in a whole new direction- the one we always wanted.

02/08/2026

I’ve got some bad news for my fellow perfectionist intellectuals :/

Perfectionism doesn’t lead to wisdom.
It often blocks it.

Longitudinal research by Davis et al (2019) shows that under stress, perfectionism tends to intensify control, self-criticism, depression, anxiety, and rigidity, rather than lead to growth.

Instead of developing a more accurate view of self, people cling to distorted standards, especially when they should the least! During moments of transitions, loss, or pressure.

Wisdom, by contrast, requires the ability to stay present with fear, tolerate uncertainty, and accept limitation without collapsing into control.

That capacity is closely linked to humility: seeing yourself clearly, without inflation or self- righteousness, or punishment.

The idea that what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger doesn’t make you wiser.

I gotta say finding research that confirms a belief that we don’t need to learn through tough love is refreshing - I’m on to something.

For perfectionists, really anyone - learning the hard way is draining. Time, resources, money, running from fears instead of facing them - drain our vitality and the years just keep on.

Learning to stay grounded is a whole mind-body-spirit thing.

How do you relate to others and firsthand to your self under pressure, when you’re facing your scariest fears?

Perfectionism is basically a distorted self-assessment and partly why it’s hard to treat is the resistance to accurate feedback.

Because of this distortion, self-correction in isolation is unreliable.

True wisdom is reflected in action.

Longitudinal research shows that the therapeutic relationship is not only a place to feel better, it’s a place where distorted self-perception finally meets an accurate mirror long enough for wisdom to form.

And being witness to this always brings me tears of joy and fulfillment.

Source: Davis et al., Perfectionism as a Proxy for Wisdom (2019), Journal of Value Inquiry.

02/07/2026

It’s a before and after.

The minute you know you can’t pretend it’s going to get better, no amount of cajoling, “what ifs”, or waiting will do.

It’s done and it’s time to move.

What that means for each mom is unique to her - what’s universal is that she realizes she needs to step into her power because she knows that her kids are watching and learning from her actions, not her words.

And there’s nothing more painful than to watch them repeat the same patterns you’ve been trying to running away from.

02/06/2026

02/05/2026

02/04/2026

When you focus on your self and fully hold yourself accountable, your entire reality shifts.

What we’re feeling and seeing as a collective is a composite of individuals, families and instances that need attention and need a reframe.

It’s time.

If we avoid what we’re feeling for the sake of keeping up with the news, all the while memories, uncomfortable feelings are pouring out of us - we are feeding the loop of staying stuck acting in ways we don’t particularly feel great about with our loved ones, in our careers, so forth.

We’re being shown what’s happening because we knew it on one level or another before but we weren’t ready to face it.

That tight chest, the angst, the crying, the confusion- are all part of it, if you allow yourself to feel through and see it in this way.

You can continue to fight it, and you won’t get very far. You might even think you’re regressing or that there’s something wrong with you.

What’s wrong is trying to push through without enough information as to how to get on with it.

So, stop and listen and then ask yourself:

What am I here to see that I wasn’t ready to before?

It’s time to listen.

02/03/2026

This is what it looks like when we trust. Five seconds in, five seconds out, feel through it and keep going with grace in one hand and discipline in the other.

This is what it looks like when a woman decides - I’m done functioning at the expense of my feelings. I won’t choose one or the other. I want to live with both.

And ohhh does she learn to live with both. The internal mother,father,child reunite.

For the women who practice this with me in session- I honor you. For many to close your eyes and be witnessed by another can be strange or uncomfortable at first.
And still, you process through it, so you can come closer to your essence. So you can become acquainted with yourself.

The magic is in the micro moments.

As I recorded this, a huge dragonfly flew in. You can hear its wings fluttering in the background.

02/03/2026

Here’s where the accepting paradox of life and observing duality gets pretty freaking dicey.

The more we read and watch anything, the more it becomes part of our background noise. We tend to get upset and later become dehumanized /desensitized to the capacity a human has to commit heinous acts.

The more we ignore what’s going on in our homes, our society, around the world - the more evil grows.

So we can’t be consumed by it or pretend it doesn’t exist. What can we do?

If we’re triggered by what we see and hear - we have to first tend to our heart and to our awareness. We cannot act from rage or hate. Anything that comes out when we are petrified, anguished, or despondent will not help the cause.

These days. It’s harder to know what’s real or fake news. We can’t even tell if what we’re listening to actually happened or was generated by a bot.

These are strange times. Where the darkness, the evil in the human is in full light. And we have to act to stand in our rights. The more of us who lean on this , on the side who wants to face it with courage to clear out the toxicity, the stronger we need to be in the face of what’s happening of what has been happening.

Stay present. The more you know yourself, the more you will know wha to do.