Live Now

Live Now Living and traveling with cancer. Informing people that there is a life worth living even if you have to cope with it. That is a different country every month.

I invited you here and the reason I am here, it's so that I can motivate you to live your life. My story; I am a 65, almost 66, year old woman with stage 4 cancer. My plans, my trip, and hopefully one that you will join me via this blog, is for 12 to 15 months in 12 to 15 countries. I hope you will join me on this adventure, to see how I can maintain my cancer regiment that is required to out live my cancer, to get my medication, to get my shots every four weeks, to get blood tests every month, to see my doctor when needed, and to continue to live a full and enjoyable life even under these circumstances.

ISTAMBUL and GREECE - Well, Iam back from a really good trip with three friends that I have come to cherish! As I said b...
08/20/2025

ISTAMBUL and GREECE - Well, Iam back from a really good trip with three friends that I have come to cherish! As I said before I was with three different people from three different time periods of my life, elementary, middle and high school. We all got along and I believe we all enjoyed each others company. The cruise that we took through out Greece fit its purpose. The cabins were large, the food good and the stops that we made was where I wanted to go. It made it easy, that is what a cruise is for. I look forward to another trip with these friends in the future!

We all met in Istanbul and spent a few days there before the cruise. It was hard going back to Istanbul, because I was there with Lewis about three years ago for about five weeks. I kept remembering what we did. What restaurants we went to, what Mosques we went into, what streets we walked down. I kept feeling like any minute he would appear and come running up to me with his great big smile. But that was not to be had. I was melancholy, but thankful that I had those memories. I was thankful that I had had him in my life for as long as I did!!!

Greece was fascinating!! But most of all Athens was hard to beat!!! We spent about 4 days there after the cruise. It is so hard to believe that ordinary people with no formal education, because there was none, no computers, no machines, living in 447 BCE had built such structures by hand, i.e.; the Parthenon, the Acropolis, and so many other structures now in ruins. They lived in such dynamic cities. They had advancements that only came back into use many thousands of years later. I kept questioning and still question, what happened that we as a people lost the knowledge to build such structures, live in such cities, have such insights, such conceptualizations as to governing and policies, art, literature and virtually go backwards into a period that lasted thousands of years of literally no advancements at all in most of the populated world. What happened? Could it be that women were no longer in control? Just a thought!!

So now I am home for less than three weeks. During this time, I have an MRI, a colonoscopy, a eye doctor appointment, an appointment to get a blood test, get my last shingle shot and meet up with my Oncologist. Not to mention close my law firm, empty the office, get rid of office furniture and finally work on my plans for the home I am building in Costa Rica. A bit much I must confess!!! I am also jet-lagged. I know I will get it done, but I wish I had more time. Such is life!!

I am proceeding to move forward with my plans to build in Costa Rica. This too is hard, because I am doing it all alone. Do not misunderstand me, I do have friends that are definitely helping me, but I am alone in respect to Lewis. For fifty years he was there. He was involved in every decision that I made. I am now proceeding on a course that I alone make. It is a conscious decision to move on without him. Not that I have any choice, but this is a total change to my world. It is lonely at times and sometimes I feel quit overwhelmed!!! But if we are alive, I feel we must live that life and like I always say, to the fullest!!

We all have choices in our lives. Some are easier then others, but there are always choices. We can be afraid to move forward and stay where we are or we can decide to take one small step towards happiness, fulfillment and even love and realize that we survived that one small step. Then take another one, until you find yourself somewhere you never thought you would be, happy again. Losing someone you love or having an incurable disease or both, is no reason to stop living. Find your happiness, find something or someone who makes you smile and live. There are no guarantees of a tomorrow!!!

Life is not merely surviving!!!! https://livenow.travel

INOT AGAIN!!! - I came home from a whirl wind trip. First in Idaho for quite a long time moving and selling furniture th...
07/28/2025

INOT AGAIN!!! - I came home from a whirl wind trip. First in Idaho for quite a long time moving and selling furniture that I had from when I sold the house up in Garfield Bay and then to New York on an eating and drinking frenzy. It was exhausting, but quite a lot of fun!!!

Then to realty. I went for my Pet Scan the day after I came home from my trip. I was on the computer when the written report from the radiologist arrived by e-mail, as a general rule, I usually do not read my reports; I usually wait until I see the doctor to hear what the results are regarding my tests. But no, this time not having had any cancer in my body for nearly a year, I was unconcerned and opened and read the report. What a Mistake!!! It indicated that I had a growth on a nodule in my lungs. And it stated that it was concerning to the radiologist!!! Needless to say, I was devastated!!! Not again, no this cannot be happening!!! Cancer, growing, now what am I going to do?

I spent two and a half days of sheer hell!!!! I was working all the angles in my head. I will not take Chemo, so what do I do now? There are no clinical trials going on that is feasible for my type of cancer. There are no new targeted therapy drugs available to fight my kind of cancer. I will not take the Chemo pill, because it is only a precursor to intravenous Chemo. So now what am I going to do? I had to come up with a plan of action. I was alone, Lewis is gone and I had to make my own decision as to what I will be willing to do. So after much consternation, I decided that I would increase the milligrams of the drug I am on now, Verzinio and incrementally increase it until I am on the full protocol dosage. I am now only taking a third of the dosage that is recommended due to the adverse affects I was previously experiencing. And then when Verzinio is no longer doing the trick, I would then go onto the other drug therapy's I had already been on to see if they would buy me any time. Buying time is essentially what it is all about when you have cancer or any chronic disease that has no cure. And with this purchased time, hopefully, a new drug will come out that can buy you even more time.

Then I went to see my Oncologist. She said, "I was not looking forward to this meeting today." I said, "I know, I read the report." She then added "Not until I studied the actual films. The radiologist is an alarmist: the reports indicate a negligible growth in the lung without ascertaining whether it is cancer." Now you can see why, one should never read their own reports!!!! I lived through hell and back to find out that I worried for nothing. Well, not completely nothing. We did decide to increase my dosage of Verzinio by another 50 milligrams. Just to be on the safe side. Five days later my Oncologist let me know that my blood test came back and Signatera is not detected; which means there is no circulating tumor DNA in my body. The blood test result further indicates that cancer is not growing in my body. Yippppeeee!!!!

I could now go on to explain, in great detail, my saga of my eye problem due to my cataract operation done three months ago, but I am tired of complaining. I will say however, I am still on eye drops, my pupil does not dilate and I have been freaked out about all this since my time in Idaho!!!! I changed eye Doctors and I am now understanding that the simple easy peasy cataract operation I had will take a lot of time to heal!!

NOT AGAIN!!! - I am leaving in four days to go to Istanbul and Greece. I am going with three friends one from elementary school, one from middle school and one from high school. This will be interesting. I am not staying home in order to see what happens with my eye. I am not staying home even though I have a growth in my lung, cancer or no cancer. I am going to travel! I am going to live! And I will worry when I have to! Right now I don't feel the need!!! Again, it is proven that life has no guarantees!!! So live everyday as if it were your last!! Enjoy yourself, find happiness, smile and laugh as often as you can!!!! Tell someone you love them, make someone feel good! Have as many people as you can remember you with fondness!! Then you know that you have lived well and you were happy!!!

Life is not merely surviving!!!!!

SANDPOINT, IDAHO, ME LIKE - So, I suspect you figured that I am in Sandpoint. Right you are. I have been here for nearly...
07/01/2025

SANDPOINT, IDAHO, ME LIKE - So, I suspect you figured that I am in Sandpoint. Right you are. I have been here for nearly a month. I did not expect to be here for so long, but going through the two large storage areas and emptying all the boxes takes a bit of time. I had two so called estate sales and moving the furniture and house hold goods up and down the stairs was no small feat. My friend here in Sandpoint helped me deal with this ordeal and I must say that she is one hell of a friend. She is definitely a keeper!!! She is a person who I consider a friend, a member of my family, one whom I actually like and a person who I can count on!!! It is people like her that make life rewarding.

However, it was not all work, although I can not tell that from all my aches and pains. But I still had fun. We went to Canada and spent a night there. We went to the beach, we sat at the lake, we went hiking. We walked and just enjoyed nature and the beauty around us. If Lewis was still with me, I believe we would have bought another place in Sandpoint. I so wish he was!!! It has been hard being here without him. Looking at all the beautiful nature around me and knowing that he too would have been elated and smiling at the same things I was. It is not right that he is gone, but I have no choice but to persevere.

Soon I leave for New York City. My son has finally proposed to his girlfriend. So, I am going to NY to celebrate the occasion with them. I am so pleased. They have been together for many years and they love each other, so what more is there to say, but congratulations!!!

Oh, yeah, my health. Well, I feel good. My medication is finally agreeing with me and if not for the pills I take in the morning, I would not acknowledge that I ever had cancer. But, there is always a but, since having my cataract operation, over five weeks ago, my eye is still dilated. I am a bit concerned. I have an appointment to see the eye doctor the day after I get home to Miami. At which point I will know if it is something worth worrying about. So until then, it is just another fly in the ointment.

Stay well my friends. Be happy, find something in your life to make you smile! And enjoy every day as if it was your last!!! It just might be your last! It is so true, yet so difficult to accept. As you know; there is always two sides to a coin, a glass can be half full or half empty, you can see your life one day so different from the next. What I am getting at here; is that you can interpret your life, your situation in many different ways at the same time, it is how you look at it that will determine the affect that it will have on you. My advice and my mantra is to be optimistic, start seeing the glass half full and you will find that you will be happier and smile much more frequently. Not that my life has been such a picnic, it hasn't been. But I do find happiness in my daily life. I laugh, I cry and I go to bed at the end of each day looking forward to the next.

Life is not merely Surviving!!!!

SANDPOINT, IDAHO, ME LIKE - So, I suspect you figured that I am in Sandpoint. Right you are. I have been here for nearly...
07/01/2025

SANDPOINT, IDAHO, ME LIKE - So, I suspect you figured that I am in Sandpoint. Right you are. I have been here for nearly a month. I did not expect to be here for so long, but going through the two large storage areas and emptying all the boxes takes a bit of time. I had two so called estate sales and moving the furniture and house hold goods up and down the stairs was no small feat. My friend here in Sandpoint helped me deal with this ordeal and I must say that she is one hell of a friend. She is definitely a keeper!!! She is a person who I consider a friend, a member of my family, one whom I actually like and a person who I can count on!!! It is people like her that make life rewarding.

However, it was not all work, although I can not tell that from all my aches and pains. But I still had fun. We went to Canada and spent a night there. We went to the beach, we sat at the lake, we went hiking. We walked and just enjoyed nature and the beauty around us. If Lewis was still with me, I believe we would have bought another place in Sandpoint. I so wish he was!!! It has been hard being here without him. Looking at all the beautiful nature around me and knowing that he too would have been elated and smiling at the same things I was. It is not right that he is gone, but I have no choice but to persevere.

Soon I leave for New York City. My son has finally proposed to his girlfriend. So, I am going to NY to celebrate the occasion with them. I am so pleased. They have been together for many years and they love each other, so what more is there to say, but congratulations!!!

Oh, yeah, my health. Well, I feel good. My medication is finally agreeing with me and if not for the pills I take in the morning, I would not acknowledge that I ever had cancer. But, there is always a but, since having my cataract operation, over five weeks ago, my eye is still dilated. I am a bit concerned. I have an appointment to see the eye doctor the day after I get home to Miami. At which point I will know if it is something worth worrying about. So until then, it is just another fly in the ointment.

Stay well my friends. Be happy, find something in your life to make you smile! And enjoy every day as if it was your last!!! It just might be your last! It is so true, yet so difficult to accept. As you know; there is always two sides to a coin, a glass can be half full or half empty, you can see your life one day so different from the next. What I am getting at here; is that you can interpret your life, your situation in many different ways at the same time, it is how you look at it that will determine the affect that it will have on you. My advice and my mantra is to be optimistic, start seeing the glass half full and you will find that you will be happier and smile much more frequently. Not that my life has been such a picnic, it hasn't been. But I do find happiness in my daily life. I laugh, I cry and I go to bed at the end of each day looking forward to the next.

Life is not merely Surviving!!!!

So, I suspect you figured that I am in Sandpoint. Right you are. I have been here for nearly a month. I did not expect to be here for so long, but going through the two large storage areas and emptying all the boxes takes a bit of time. I had two so called estate+ Read More

WHAT TO SAY? - It has been awhile since I have written a blog. I really did not know what to say. I came home from Taiwa...
06/03/2025

WHAT TO SAY? - It has been awhile since I have written a blog. I really did not know what to say. I came home from Taiwan with much regret. I felt that Lewis should have been on this trip. He would have enjoyed it so. He would have been so happy. And I was so sad!!! I miss him so very much!!! I would have loved him to be on this trip with me and our son. I would have loved to share the experience and to be able to talk about all that had taken place. I have such pain from his early death! He was my soul mate, my friend, my lover, my confidant. My regret however is not for me. I regret that he is not enjoying his life. I regret that he is missing out on all that life has to offer. I regret that he is not smiling his all encompassing, radiant smile. My regret is for him.

I came home to an apartment, which is now fixed up, most boxes have been removed and furniture has been bought. It is more of a home now, not a waystation. And for the first time, I am aware that he will not be walking through the door. I know that he will not return and because of that I am finally mourning his death. I know that he is here with me in spirit and soul, which brings me comfort. But that is all that I will ever have. I am finally realizing that I have to let go of the belief, feeling or what ever it is that he will return to me. I am forced to accept that I will be alone for the rest of my life. Yes, I have my children and family, but no they do not nor do I want them to take his place. I am letting go of a lot of things. So many that my heart breaks.

I have always been a perpetual optimist. I have always believed that tomorrow was another day. That perhaps tomorrow I will wake up and things will change for the better. That life could surprise me. But this experience with Lewis has shown me that some things will not change. That you have to take it at face value and realize that people, things, life is sometimes cruel. So I am letting go. I am now waiting to be surprised, not anticipating or believing, or is it just hoping that things will change.

I am still planning trips. I am still going to build a home in Costa Rica. I am still going to live a full life. It will be more empty, not as fulfilling, not as I had always pictured it would be; growing old with Lewis. But the pain will eventually subside and I will go on with my life. What choice do I have. I am not one to roll over and play dead. I am not one to not see the beauty in life and find a reason to live. I have fought for my life for so many years. I had cancer over 21 years ago for the first time. I fought to live then. I got it again eight years ago and fought it once again. And then 5 years ago I was told that I had Stage 4 Cancer and I have been fighting ever since. But I won!!! I had radiation and no longer have detectable cancer in my body. I refused take the so called Protocol (chemo pills) that was prescribed to me and it was because of that fight that I know in my heart I have many more years to live. And having said that, live I will!!!

I am a mother, a sister and a friend to many. I am there for all of them. I am there if they ask. But, and there is always a but, it will now have to be a two way street. After losing Lewis, I realized that life is not the way you dream or hope it to be, it is how you fashion and deal with the reality as it exists. I am now looking for a tranquil, peaceful life that brings me many laughs, friends and family that love me and a reason to continue to live. I believe I can find that, at least I will try!!!

Life is not merely surviving!!!!! https://livenow.travel

WHAT TO SAY? - It has been awhile since I have written a blog. I really did not know what to say. I came home from Taiwa...
06/03/2025

WHAT TO SAY? - It has been awhile since I have written a blog. I really did not know what to say. I came home from Taiwan with much regret. I felt that Lewis should have been on this trip. He would have enjoyed it so. He would have been so happy. And I was so sad!!! I miss him so very much!!! I would have loved him to be on this trip with me and our son. I would have loved to share the experience and to be able to talk about all that had taken place. I have such pain from his early death! He was my soul mate, my friend, my lover, my confidant. My regret however is not for me. I regret that he is not enjoying his life. I regret that he is missing out on all that life has to offer. I regret that he is not smiling his all encompassing, radiant smile. My regret is for him.

I came home to an apartment, which is now fixed up, most boxes have been removed and furniture has been bought. It is more of a home now, not a waystation. And for the first time, I am aware that he will not be walking through the door. I know that he will not return and because of that I am finally mourning his death. I know that he is here with me in spirit and soul, which brings me comfort. But that is all that I will ever have. I am finally realizing that I have to let go of the belief, feeling or what ever it is that he will return to me. I am forced to accept that I will be alone for the rest of my life. Yes, I have my children and family, but no they do not nor do I want them to take his place. I am letting go of a lot of things. So many that my heart breaks.

I have always been a perpetual optimist. I have always believed that tomorrow was another day. That perhaps tomorrow I will wake up and things will change for the better. That life could surprise me. But this experience with Lewis has shown me that some things will not change. That you have to take it at face value and realize that people, things, life is sometimes cruel. So I am letting go. I am now waiting to be surprised, not anticipating or believing, or is it just hoping that things will change.

I am still planning trips. I am still going to build a home in Costa Rica. I am still going to live a full life. It will be more empty, not as fulfilling, not as I had always pictured it would be; growing old with Lewis. But the pain will eventually subside and I will go on with my life. What choice do I have. I am not one to roll over and play dead. I am not one to not see the beauty in life and find a reason to live. I have fought for my life for so many years. I had cancer over 21 years ago for the first time. I fought to live then. I got it again eight years ago and fought it once again. And then 5 years ago I was told that I had Stage 4 Cancer and I have been fighting ever since. But I won!!! I had radiation and no longer have detectable cancer in my body. I refused take the so called Protocol (chemo pills) that was prescribed to me and it was because of that fight that I know in my heart I have many more years to live. And having said that, live I will!!!

I am a mother, a sister and a friend to many. I am there for all of them. I am there if they ask. But, and there is always a but, it will now have to be a two way street. After losing Lewis, I realized that life is not the way you dream or hope it to be, it is how you fashion and deal with the reality as it exists. I am now looking for a tranquil, peaceful life that brings me many laughs, friends and family that love me and a reason to continue to live. I believe I can find that, at least I will try!!!

Life is not merely surviving!!!!!

It has been awhile since I have written a blog. I really did not know what to say. I came home from Taiwan with much regret. I felt that Lewis should have been on this trip. He would have enjoyed it so. He would have been so happy. And I was so sad!!! I miss+ Read More

TAIWAN - I just returned from Taiwan. I was there for two and a half weeks and enjoyed the trip immensely. The only nega...
04/28/2025

TAIWAN - I just returned from Taiwan. I was there for two and a half weeks and enjoyed the trip immensely. The only negative about going there is the distance. It took almost a full day of travel and the time difference is twelve hours. So when it is nine in the morning here in Miami it is nine in the evening there. The jet lag I experienced was and is still awful!! But other than that one complaint and the fact that Lewis was not with me, Taiwan was fantastic. I know that Lewis would have loved experiencing Taiwan and all that it had to offer. It was a truly fabulous trip!!! I met my son in Taiwan and we went all over the island; we rented a car and went down one coast and up the other.

The major reason I enjoyed the trip so much was due to the people. They were nice, kind, giving and all around good, good people. The country, including the cities are clean and amazingly safe. Most young people there speak English and the older population do try to communicate with you. My son speaks Mandarin Chinese and it came in most helpful!

We went hiking, scuba diving and to every Temple in the country. Or at least it felt that way. There are Buddhist, Confucianist, Hindu and Taoist Temples in Taiwan. There are even a number of Christian Churches. The Temples in Taiwan are extremely colorful, all are of different sizes, some are very large with multi levels and then there are small ones containing only a single room. All the Temples supplied incense to light as offerings to their many deities. The Temples were very accepting and warmly greeted you in.

As we drove around the Island of Taiwan we listened to various Podcasts about Taiwan, its history and its culture. But the one that stuck out in my mind in particular was the one that discussed Taiwan's future. It was a discussion about the threat of a Chinese incursion into Taiwan. One of the participants in the Podcast was a United States Major who stated that the US will not come to Taiwan's aid. America will not go into war with China to save Taiwan. Another participant was a historian that stated that no country would help Taiwan if China invaded and that it is only time before it occurs. Not if, but when. And the Podcast was recorded three years ago.

As I said earlier the Taiwanese people are good decent people. They want the same as everyone else wants. They want health, they want happiness, they want to live well. They want for their families the same as we all do. They want education, the ability to prosper, the ability to make their own choices. They want freedom!!! Not to be under a dictatorship. The Podcast even stated that they might all be subjected to reeducation. Which in Chinese parlance means brainwashing and punishment!! Are the Chinese going to have the twenty year old's take over and tell the educated, experienced professionals how to run the country, how to administer medicine, and such and now have those who had ran the country be made to carry out manual labor for re-educational purposes? Which has happened before. What a scary thought. But it could occur. I met some Taiwanese who are truly worried. But from what I saw the majority of the populous does not want to talk about it and are refusing to deal with the issue. They are closing their eyes and wishing it to go away.

Does any of this sound familiar? Is our country not under a similar peril? Is our freedoms being eroded right in front of our eyes. Is free speech free anymore? Is the judicial system being over run and ignored by those in power? When a person can be pulled off the street by masked men and taken away, because he/she attended a rally or said something that someone did not like and get away with it, the government behind it is called authoritarianism or for a better word fascism. If we do not believe in what that person had said or done and we allow this to occur without a word on behalf of that person then we are allowing our fundamental freedoms, not just the person who it is being done to, to be taken away from all of us!! And then who is to says that it will not happen to us? If your response is, well they had it coming to them, then what you are doing in that instance is allowing it to occur and refusing to see the bigger picture that it effects all of us.

When people who are legally in our country can be taken off the streets and extradited to foreign countries, because they have been accused, not proven, just accused to be dangerous to our country we are all in danger. If we look at it and say to ourselves that, that can never happen to me and do nothing, then we are helping to erode the meaning of a democratic nation. Please consider the fact that the many people in our country who are now being removed also had once believed the same thing. They believed it would never happen to them, because they believed that they were here legally, but as you know it is happening. Why do you think for a moment that it cannot happen to you? What false narrative do you play in your head to believe that? Will you believe it when it happens to one of your family members, or a friend, or only when it happens to you? At which time it will be too late.

I can give other examples, but those who see it, will understand what I am saying and those who do not, will never see it until it hits home. Or they will be the lucky ones that are untouched, but who will live in a new America, one without any freedoms. Or they may be the ones ready to take over where the Nazi's of Germany left off.

So back to Taiwan, they have no choice. If it happens they will have to deal with it. They will have to deal with an outside force, not one of their own choosing. But our situation in America is different, we put the government that exists today into power and we can remove them from said power. We are still in control, but not for long. We have to decide as a nation how to proceed. Not by force, but by demanding that the government live up to the provisions of the American Constitution. Do not give the government an excuse to declare martial law under any circumstance. Then all is lost. Someone smarter and more capable then I has to come up with a plan. I am hopeful it will happen.

My tag line has always been "Life is not merely surviving!!!!" I believe it means more now than it ever has. We as a nation do not want to merely survive!!! We want our freedoms!!! We want to be able to chose what we want for ourselves and our families. We want to live a life of happiness that includes all of our existing fundamental freedoms. We want the ability to say what we believe and to be able to protect those that need our help!!! Of course, I will travel, I will live my life to the fullest and I will not give up. I did not do so when I was diagnosed with Stage 4 Cancer, I did not do so when my love of my life passed away and I will not give up now. America will survive and we have to do that which needs to be done for it to remain the nation that we love. So, laugh, love, smile as often as you can and be vigilant!!!! But most of all, be safe!!!

Life is not merely surviving!!!!!

So now I sit here afraid to hit send to publish this blog. I am fearful of who may actually read this. I fear what can happen to me if I do. But that is what they, those in power, want you to be, afraid. They can only control the masses with fear. It is fear that keeps people from acting and speaking out. But it is time that the general public starts to act. We, the ordinary people, have to rise up and make our voices heard before they become too powerful. People now turn off the news, they cannot listen to those in power, they are putting their heads in the sand, but to what avail. If we wait they will only get stronger, if I am afraid now, what will the country look like in a year when the power gets more concentrated? When judges are removed, when laws start to coalesce? When those that wear masks and arrest people without cause start coming after the ordinary citizen who has done nothing, but to raise their voice? It will be far worse and even more frightening. That is why we all must act now. I am giving you my hand for support, to help raise your awareness and give you courage to act. To let you know that you are not alone!!!

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