11/04/2025
My name is Randy and at the age of five, I started being molested by the 18 year old son of my baby sitter, at their home.
At the start, he groomed me to feel like it was normal behavior, and that he did these things to me because he "loved me.” I believed him for so long, until it started to hurt. He would even bring friends to join in. Over the years he did unspeakable things, and threatened to kill me if I spoke up. He told me that it was my fault, that nobody would believe me, that I was gay, and that everyone would hate me. His family were devout Christians, and he made it perfectly clear that when I died, only I would go to hell because I made him want me. I felt trapped. I was his defenseless little slave. When I was 9, my baby sister was born. My abuser found out that his aunt would be watching my sister, and he told me not to worry, that "when she starts coming around, I won't need you anymore." The sickening feelings of helplessness tormented me. I didn't sleep and I stopped eating. On my 10th birthday I was encouraged to tell, by watching an episode of the "Sally Jessie Raphael" talk show. It featured an episode on child s*x abuse. At the end of the segment Sally looked at the camera, and spoke-"If you are watching this, and are going through this, please tell someone, it's not your fault, you must speak up." I felt like she was talking directly to ME.
I walked into my baby sister's room, looked down into her crib, and with innocent eyes she smiled up at me. I knew I had to protect her, even if it meant him killing me. Suddenly he wasn't so big and scary anymore (he was 6'4 270 lbs). I pulled my grandmother into the bathroom and told her everything. Thankfully my grandmother believed me, and later on he crumbled under interrogation, and was locked away for a very long time. My story is complex; drugs and alcohol became my way of coping for so long, but now after nearly a year sober I'm finally starting the healing process. Looking back, I am baffled at how little the adults in my life looked out for me, and that he was allowed to be alone, let alone have sleep-overs with a 5 year old child. In hindsight, it's infuriating. I would never allow this to happen to my children. So in retrospect, I don't think I would change what happened in my life if given the chance, because it's made me such a compassionate person as well as a protective, understanding parent. I'm sharing my story for everyone who is a victim, but especially for all the boys who are now men, who haven't spoken yet. I humbly pray that I can inspire someone to speak up, because I know how horrifying it can be in a very toxic masculine society, which discourages making oneself vulnerable. I firmly believe, as a man, the most badass thing a man can do is speak up. You're not weak!
You can help a child protect themselves from abusers, by gifting them a FREE Tell Somebody book! 📚 gofundme.com/GiveAFreeBook
Child abusers, please stop and seek therapy and God.
Parents, talk with and believe your children. ❤️
Survivors, seek therapy. 💪🏽
(To share your story of abuse, message me)
www.TellSomebodyToday.com
