02/11/2026
Limerence is an intense, often unreciprocated, obsession with another person (a “limerent object” or LO). It’s characterized by:
Extreme fears of rejection
A desperate longing to be desired
Changing your behavior in the hopes that someone will build a relationship with you
Limerence feels like falling madly in love. It’s involuntary, meaning you feel like you can’t control it or you don’t have power over it. And it can seep into everything you do — your thoughts, your feelings, the way you go about your day and the activities that capture your attention.
Love is different in that it involves a deeper and shared connection that’s rooted in reality. It requires mutual respect, deep commitment and emotional affection. It doesn’t force you to sacrifice your own needs or desires to make room for someone else or to convince someone to strike up a relationship with you. With love, there’s a true bond between partners and a shared understanding that you’re working together for the betterment of the relationship.