10/09/2025
The Silent Victims: How Domestic Violence Shapes a Child’s Life
When a mother is abused—whether by a boyfriend, husband, or even a so-called friend—the bruises and scars do not stop with her. They seep into the hearts of her children. Too often, society assumes that children and teenagers “bounce back” quickly, that their youth will somehow protect them from trauma. But what many fail to see is that the damage of witnessing violence against a loved one—especially a mother—can echo through every part of a child’s life.
A child who grows up watching their mother being hurt lives in a constant state of fear and confusion. They may never feel safe, even in their own home. The walls that should protect them become reminders of screams, broken objects, and tears. And when that violence ends in tragedy—when a mother is killed—the child’s world collapses completely. They are left not only grieving, but carrying unbearable guilt, asking themselves questions they can never answer: Why didn’t I do something? Could I have saved her?
Even those too young to remember still feel the loss in ways they cannot explain. They may grow up feeling incomplete, as though something was taken before life even began. Their identity, their ability to trust, to love, to form healthy relationships—all are shaped by a pain that others may never see.
Unfortunately, these children often go unnoticed. Many never receive the counseling, care, or understanding they desperately need. There are few programs specifically designed to help youth who have lost a parent to domestic violence or lived in violent homes. The world expects them to move on, to adapt, but trauma doesn’t just fade—it buries itself deep inside.
As they grow older, these wounds manifest in many ways: difficulty making decisions, fear of abandonment, unhealthy relationships, struggles with self-worth, or even confusion about their identity and sexuality. Some may repeat the very cycles of abuse they once feared, not because they want to, but because trauma taught them to normalize pain. Others may isolate, mistrust, or live with silent anger toward a world that didn’t protect them—or their mother.
Domestic violence is not just an attack on one person; it’s an attack on generations. When a child witnesses violence, it plants seeds of trauma that can affect their emotional, spiritual, and psychological growth for a lifetime. These children are not just witnesses; they are victims too.
If we truly want to break the cycle, we must see them. We must create programs that give them space to heal, to speak, to understand that none of it was their fault. Healing begins when they are heard, when we stop expecting them to recover on their own, and instead, surround them with love, counseling, mentorship, and hope to transform their lives for a hope for generations to come. This is why Purple Light Touch Foundation works with young girls to help with the trauma and the effects this can have on their lives.
Because behind every story of domestic violence, there is often a child who has lost not only their parent—but a piece of themselves.
Valerie Kelso Purple Light Touch Foundation Valerie Kelso
