Jennings County Nar-Anon Family

08/22/2025

Aug 22 ~ Nar-Anon Daily SESH Reading
LETTING GO – GROWTH
When I went to my first Nar-Anon meeting, I was confused and l was looking for answers. I did not know how much to do for the addict. I wanted to understand the difference between caretaking and care giving. I continued to attend meetings and I learned from the sharing and experiences of my fellow Nar-Anon members.
I am learning that one way of enabling is doing for the addict what she can do for herself. I decided that I would stop enabling her. I would ask myself each time I thought I was enabling her, if this was something that the addict was capable of doing for herself. Was I going to do something for her that will not help her growth?
Helping the addict to avoid the natural consequences of her action was another enabling action, so I made another change. As I made these important changes, I no longer tried to intervene when I saw that her using landed her in trouble.
I learned, as I continued going to meetings, that I could be flexible without becoming a doormat. To me, that meant I had choices, and I could change my mind when I felt it was necessary. This thought and this growth is comforting to me because it shows me I can control my life. I am making changes that are good for me.
I can help the addict when I think it is the right thing to do, and when I feel that I want to do it. I learned that I could love the addict without smothering her. It is nice to learn that I do not have to live with everybody I love, nor feel guilty when I am not doing for them what they can do for themselves.
Thought for Today: I wanted to know how much footwork I needed to do before I could turn the addict over to my Higher Power. What I finally came to understand is that I can let go and the answers that I am looking for will be here when I am ready to receive them.
“Sometimes the way is not clear. That is the time to stop, ask for guidance, and rest. That is the time to let go of fear. Wait. Feel the confusion and chaos, then let it go. The path will show itself. The next step shall be revealed.” ~ Melody Beattie
Copyright © 2007 by Nar-Anon Family Group Headquarters

08/21/2025

Aug 21 ~ Nar-Anon Daily SESH Reading
KINDNESS
My life experiences taught me to suspect and question the kindness of others. I thought there would always be a price to pay when someone was kind to me or loved me. I grew up with active addiction in my family, and the price I paid for kindness and closeness was steep. I could not afford to become close to others, as I did not want to pay that price. When I tried relationships outside the family, I picked the same type of people as my family members, and the relationships failed.
I then protected myself from being hurt by avoiding a commitment in any kind of relationship. In time, I recognized that this strategy was becoming dangerous to my health, and I was not really living. Self-imposed isolation had become my commitment. I was alone because that was the only way I felt safe to live. I decided no one was going to hurt me again. After some time, I realized that this way of living was also wrong.
As I turned further into myself, I could see I needed help. I took a chance and began attending Nar-Anon meetings. I had a wait-and-see attitude. I would wait to see if the Nar-Anon principles of recovery were true and, more importantly, what they would cost me. I needed a new life; the old one did not work anymore. I needed freedom from my fear of rejection and abandonment.
In the Nar-Anon program, I have a new, loving family that offers unconditional kindness. I am learning to receive this kindness with an open heart. I am also learning to give. I believe that real love and kindness are gifts that will only grow when given freely.
Thought for Today: I have a need to interact with others to live a full, happy, and healthy life. The Nar-Anon program has shown me that real kindness and love do not always have a price attached.
“Real love is selfless love. It expects nothing in return. It is not conditional. It doesn’t keep score. It is too seldom given. Many of us came into the program hurting, feeling unloved, looking desperately for love, unable to love selflessly. But we are learning.”
~ Each Day a New Beginning - Daily Meditations for Women
Copyright © 2007 by Nar-Anon Family Group Headquarters

08/19/2025

Aug 19 ~ Nar-Anon Daily SESH Reading
COPING WITH ACTIVE ADDICTION
I believe that someone with an active addict in his or her life must have invented Caller ID.
Before attending Nar-Anon, I did not know I had a choice. I thought I had to do whatever was asked of me. Not to do so was being self-centered and selfish. I was in graduate school receiving collect calls from my brother, who was active in his disease. He was supporting his drug habit by robbing banks. He was caught and went to prison. I thought I had to take all of his calls, no matter the time of day or night, no matter what was going on in my life.
I started attending Nar-Anon, and I learned that I had choices. I could take care of myself and not feel responsible for my brother’s circumstances. One of the ways I started taking care of myself was to get Caller ID. I did this so I could screen my calls and decide whether to accept the addict’s calls or not. I did this for me, and it is unimportant whether the addict knew or knows that I am screening my calls. The Nar-Anon program teaches me that I have choices. I can decide to continue to help the addict or I can decide not to help the addict.
Thought for Today: I have choices. I can take responsibility for my actions and well-being. I am not obligated to do things for others that I do not want to do or are harmful to me in any way. Taking care of me is not selfish. Today, I choose to live my life by putting my Higher Power first, then me, then others.
“Our most important focus during times of stress is taking care of ourselves. We are better able to cope with the most irregular circumstances; we are better able to be there for others if we’re caring for ourselves.” ~ Melody Beattie
Copyright © 2007 by Nar-Anon Family Group Headquarters

08/18/2025

Aug 18 ~ Nar-Anon Daily SESH Reading
NOTHING I DO CHANGES THE ADDICT’S CHOICES
I divorced my husband of eight years after he broke my arm in a drunken rage. He received jail time for domestic violence and I was sentenced to a Twelve Step program. I was not ready. I thought that everyone at the meeting was completely dippy. How on earth could I condone anyone’s using? Were these people mad or what? I must say, looking back, I had a serious case of selective hearing. I lived in denial and I was incapable of taking an honest look at myself.
Sometime later, I started having problems with my teenage daughter. She crashed my car, cleaned out my bank account twice and pawned most of my appliances. I threw her out. That is when she broke down and confessed that she was an addict. I immediately jumped into action. I was going to fix my child, so super-mom found a treatment center. I started moving mountains to get the money I needed. I begged and even convinced the bank to increase my mortgage. Never mind that I could not afford it and I had no idea how I was going to pay it back. It was my duty to fix my child’s problems.
My daughter completed her treatment, came out and was doing well. The treatment center recommended that I go to Nar-Anon meetings. I ignored that advice. Of course, I did not have a problem. I was, after all, this loving and devoted mom. Six months later, my fall came when my daughter relapsed.
My world fell apart. In desperation, I finally sought help in Nar- Anon. I cannot stress this enough - it was my salvation! Not long afterwards, I discovered that my youngest daughter was also an addict. With the program’s support, and what I have learned, I handled the situation in a much more positive way.
Thought for Today: I have a better perspective now so that I can detach, let go and accept that nothing I do will ever change the choices the addicts make.
“We do recover. Slowly, new persons emerge. Change is taking place.” ~ Nar-Anon Blue Booklet
Copyright © 2007 by Nar-Anon Family Group Headquarters

08/16/2025

Aug 16 ~ Nar-Anon Daily SESH Reading

SLOGANS AT WORK

Live and Let Live is a two-part slogan. Because of my experience with addiction, I had to work the second part of this slogan “let live” first. Before I came to Nar-Anon and began practicing the principles of the program, I instantly had an opinion of those I met. I was "judging the book by its cover.” I now use this slogan to grant others the dignity to make their own choices. I am learning not to be so quick to judge others.

Since attending Nar-Anon, I know there is more to people than I can see at first glance. I can listen and learn from everyone, if I keep an open mind. I have a common experience with the members of my Nar-Anon fellowship, because everyone in these rooms loves an addict. Today I make an effort to let each person, even my addicted loved one, be the person they choose to be. I am learning everyone has a right to live their life as they choose to live it and deal with the results.

I am also learning to practice the first part of this slogan – the “live.” I too suffered from the effects of my loved one’s addiction. I was neglecting my own needs and not living my own life. This part of the slogan reminds me that I can and should make a life for myself regardless of what others do. Their lives are not my responsibility and I must let go of this false sense of responsibility.

Thought for Today: This new awareness and acceptance has taught me to focus on changing myself. When I practice this principle, I can relax and enjoy my newfound friends and my life. I have a full time job taking care of me.

“Slogans serve as gentle, calming reminders that our circumstances might not be as impossible or as desperate as they at first appear. These concise expressions of wisdom offer quick reassurances that we really are able to cope with whatever life brings, prompting us to take constructive action and to treat ourselves and others with compassion and respect.” ~ How Al-Anon Works

Copyright © 2007 by Nar-Anon Family Group Headquarters

08/16/2025

Aug 15 ~ Nar-Anon Daily SESH Reading
SLOW DOWN
I came to Nar-Anon confused and anxious to get my addict into recovery. This, I had decided, was the answer to all our problems. I listened to the readings and heard there were steps we needed to take in order to “work this program.” That sounded simple enough – I needed to admit that my addict had a problem and then I would have my spiritual awakening. Then after having this spiritual awakening, our family would be back to normal.
The world today seems to be in fast forward. That is how I lived my life before coming to Nar-Anon. Always in a hurry to get things done, always in a hurry to solve everyone’s problems, never wanting anyone to have to suffer any consequences. I soon learned that consequences teach us lessons, and that I needed to learn those lessons right along with the addict. I embraced the program and worked the steps according to my Higher Power’s plan for my life. I found that I could not skip from Step One to Step Twelve without working all the steps in between. I am a work-in-progress and even though I have had my spiritual awakening, I will never be finished with my Nar-Anon program. For me, change can only come slowly.
Thought for Today: Because of the addict, I now have a program for helping me to become a healthier person. “I may not follow it exactly, but I will have it.”
“When I slow down long enough to smell the roses, I usually see the beauty and all else that is ours to share.” ~ Morgan Jennings
Copyright © 2007 by Nar-Anon Family Group Headquarters

08/14/2025

Aug 14 ~ Nar-Anon Daily SESH Reading
FACING REALITY
The reality that my loved one is an addict and has a disease is a tough reality to face. It is hard for me to have much hope, when the addict is always causing problems for others, as well as himself. The addict’s refusal to seek help, stop lying, and be responsible is very frustrating!
I can see the answers easily, so I ask myself, “Why can’t the addict?” “Does the addict walk around with rose-colored glasses convincing himself that everything is fine?” When disaster strikes, my addicted loved one acts bewildered and unable to understand what has happened. Then, I want to shake him and say, “Face reality. It is as plain as the nose on your face! You are hooked on drugs and that is the problem.”
Of course, trying to get the addict to face reality is not easy. He is in denial about anything being wrong, and definitely does not see the situation the same as I see it. Many times the addict does not even think he has a drug problem. Rose-colored glasses seem to be forever glued to his face. However, there are times when I am also in denial. I allow myself to wear those same rose-colored glasses and convince myself that I can fix him. At times, reality is a tough thing to face and the struggle for growth can be overwhelming. As someone who loves an addict, I must face the reality that I have no control over his disease of addiction or the problems it causes. I must leave the addict alone to discover this on his own. I cannot do it for him.
Thought for Today: I must have the strength to allow the addict to make progress in his own time. Living in denial only hinders the recovery process for me and for the addict.
“The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself.”
~ George Bernard Shaw
Copyright © 2007 by Nar-Anon Family Group Headquarters

08/14/2025

Aug 13 ~ Nar-Anon Daily SESH Reading
HIGHER POWER
I never realized I was lonely and isolated before coming to Nar-Anon. I spent days by myself because I did not think anyone would understand me or the problems I was living with. I started working the Nar-Anon program, applying the steps to my problems and things started to improve. I became involved in service work and stopped isolating. I now realize that I was never really alone. I always had a Higher Power. With this knowledge I now can be physically alone, but not lonely. I can always share my thoughts, troubles, and joys with my Higher Power.
I was at the bottom of a mountain recently and as I looked up, I began to cry. I realized something inside me was changing. I was becoming more outgoing, more accepting and laid back. Today, not much robs me of my serenity. I continue to stay involved in the Nar-Anon program and do service work. People from Nar-Anon have become very special to me. I can receive and give love more freely today and I laugh more than I did in years past.
Thought for Today: Once I accepted that I had a Power greater than myself, I realized that I was never truly alone. Recognizing my powerlessness freed me from believing everything was my responsibility. It is funny how my kids are now the parents and I am the free spirit.
“And when I do get lonely, I have the comfort and support of a Higher Power who never leaves me.” ~ Courage to Change
Copyright © 2007 by Nar-Anon Family Group Headquarters

08/11/2025

Aug 11 ~ Nar-Anon Daily SESH Reading
STEP WORK
I decided that I was sick and tired of feeling sick and tired. I came to realize that the addict and I were killing ourselves - she by using drugs and me with my worry, anger and fear. I realized that the First Step of the Nar-Anon message was indeed true. I have no control over the addict and my life was out of control. What a difference this one simple concept began to make in my life. I did not have to continue down this path of destruction.
I began to realize that it is useful to write down my thoughts, feelings, desires, and my sadness in dealing with addiction, and my victories over it. I am learning not to have expectations of others; that way disappointments will not follow. The changes that I see in myself and others who regularly attend the meetings are huge. I marvel at the transformation that has taken place in my outlook on life.
Thought for Today: Steadily, I listen, soul search, and realize the meaning of each step, apply it and then go to the next step. If I slip, I go back and start over. I have found that going back and starting over gets easier each time.
“By working the steps, following the traditions and using the tools of the program, we begin, with the love and help of our Higher Power and others, to change ourselves.” ~ Nar-Anon Blue Booklet
Copyright © 2007 by Nar-Anon Family Group Headquarters

08/11/2025

Aug 10 ~ Nar-Anon Daily SESH Reading
OVERCOMING
I have often wondered if this is going to be me for the rest of my life. Who would have thought that I would be attending meetings on how to overcome the darkness that an addict brings to my life and to have the courage and determination to continue with the meetings week after week, month after month and for some, year after year.
Recently, the addict came to our house with a look of desperation; she looked physically terrible. Here I was with my drug-induced daughter who cannot force herself to get some help, even though I know she does not want to be controlled by this disease of addiction. This time the old feelings of desperation and darkness did not take hold of my soul and being. Prior to Nar-Anon, I would not have believed this was possible. Prior to Nar-Anon, I would have been angry, upset, shaking, physically sick and much more.
I think of yesterday and thank my Higher Power for guiding me to Nar-Anon. No longer do I have the thought that “this is me for the rest of my life” when I think about attending Nar-Anon meetings. I would be dishonest to myself if I said that I would rather be doing something else such as sitting back resting after a long day or enjoying some time with family. I have come to realize that my life could be a lot worse than attending Nar-Anon meetings.
Thought for Today: I have come to enjoy the company of others who are in the same boat as me. I also enjoy the feeling that maybe something I say can make a difference in another person’s journey through his or her darkness and desperation.
"The fragrance always stays in the hand that gives the rose." ~ Hada Bejar
Copyright © 2007 by Nar-Anon Family Group Headquarters

08/11/2025

Aug 9 ~ Nar-Anon Daily SESH Reading
DOUBLE WINNER PRACTICES DETACHMENT
I am a double winner, an addict and a grateful member of Nar-Anon. I trust today when I end up somewhere by accident that I am right where I need to be. I still struggle with my fierce desire to control. It proves to me that my disease is alive and well, even if I am not using.
I was at a Narcotics Anonymous and Nar-Anon convention with my sister who has been teetering on the edge of recovery after being court-ordered to the program. The first night, we walked to a meeting where there were three hundred recovering addicts. My sister decided that it was too much for her and went to a bar and got trashed. She spent her first day at the convention hung-over in our hotel room with the curtains drawn shut. I called my sponsor and my support group and they all agreed that I did not need to bring her bacon & eggs as she requested, but could enjoy my day as I had planned.
The next day, I told her about my plans and invited her to an open meeting. To my surprise, she wanted to go. The speaker was funny and I could see my sister laughing and relating. I could also see that I needed to continue to let her go and turn her over to her Higher Power. I know any control from me, positive or negative, would get in the way. I have to trust that her Higher Power is watching over her and that she has her own bottoms to hit. It is all a learning process.
Thought for Today: Recovery is a journey we can share, but each person must make their own decision on whether they want to take the trip.
“There is guidance for each of us, and by lowly listening we shall hear the right word.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
Copyright © 2007 by Nar-Anon Family Group Headquarters

08/08/2025