Jennings County Nar-Anon Family

05/02/2026

May 2 ~ Nar-Anon Daily SESH Reading

EXPECTATIONS

Over the last week or so, the addict had been saying that she really meant it this time when she stated that she was ready to go into a rehab program. There were signs that she meant it. I told her to make some calls. To my surprise, she did.

In the past, I would be over the moon with joy and I would be up all night with questions in my mind. Is she going to make the calls? Will she go in when they say to come in? Will she complete the program or stay only a day or so? I remember the last two times the addict agreed to go into a rehab program, I was full of hope and joy and anticipation. When she left before finishing, I became upset. I was so disappointed that my anger took control of my being. I was sick for weeks and emotionally distraught because she was not doing what I knew was best for her.

However, this time is different because I have learned the beauty of living my life one day at a time. I have also come to realize that my desires for my daughter are just desires. The message of Nar-Anon teaches me that I do not have control over the addict. I should not expect her to seek help and I should not have any expectations. I can only hope she will seek recovery, but I no longer expect it. I will not be distraught. I will not get emotionally and physically sick. I have learned that I must think of myself first and not let her addiction destroy me.

Thought for Today: With the tools of Nar-Anon, I know that I can resist expectations and have hope. I realize the strength that I now have comes directly from my Higher Power. It is with gratitude that I acknowledge the source of my strength.

“When others, especially our children, deal with life differently than we would, or have stressful situations to face, we can respect them by assuming they have everything they need to handle that situation.” ~ Anne Wilson Schaef

Copyright © 2007 by Nar-Anon Family Group Headquarters

05/02/2026

May 1 ~ Nar-Anon Daily SESH Reading

NO HARMONY

I wrote this poem in the early days of my frustration and confusion that came from trying to deal with the craziness of our addicted son. I was so angry because of the stress, and I was filled with resentment. I felt a regular teen was difficult enough to raise.

No Harmony

There is no harmony in the way he plays us.

He is young and took no lessons;

it comes naturally.

There is no guile.

He does not know the strength of his song.

He does not know that every child

in search for his own way

sings the same clanging, weeping song

of torturous disharmony that tears

and pulls at one or the other.

His parents should stand strong, together,

with the same chorus of standards that should be known.

It’s not his fault they know no song to sing in rounds or rhyme.

At times of stress, she sings LOUD

and is a clanging, repetitive sour note

who thinks she is a righteous tone

until he cringes, pulls back and groans,

tone deaf,

out of time with her song of sorrow,

one lonely note with infinite possibilities.

ALONE

NO HARMONY

Thought for Today: Thanks to the Nar-Anon program, my harmony is restored. Surrendering my self-righteous attitude, thoughts of blame and the need to be right, frees me of the feelings of anger, sorrow, frustration, and despair.

“Live and Let Live.” ~ Nar-Anon Twelve Step Slogan

Copyright © 2007 by Nar-Anon Family Group Headquarters

05/02/2026

👍Sacklers

May 1 marks the first payment of billions to try to address ongoing harms from the overdose crisis.

04/30/2026

April 29 ~ Nar-Anon Daily SESH Reading
HELPING
How do I make the transition from caretaker or enabler to helper? The best way to help addicts is to seek help for myself first. One of life's toughest lessons is that I cannot change anyone except myself.
Somehow, my behavior may be contributing to the addict’s continued use of drugs. It does not mean I am responsible but I do need to look at my part. By finding ways to bring order and peace back into my own life, I give addicts the opportunity to find a way to recovery.
Allowing addicts to take responsibility for their actions may provide them with the motivation to find their own way in life. It may not be the way I would like them to do it, but there are many roads to the same destination.
It has been said that by doing the right thing to bring sanity into my own life, I end up doing the right things for the addicts in my life. I give them the chance to take charge of their lives. In the end, I get a chance to live in a positive and enriching way.
Thought for Today: I will look at myself and the role I play in the family disease of addiction. I will change the things I find are harmful and self-defeating and leave the rest to a Power greater than me.
“Few things help an individual more than to place responsibility upon him, and to let him know that you trust him.” ~ Booker T. Washington
Copyright © 2007 by Nar-Anon Family Group Headquarters

04/30/2026

April 26 ~ Nar-Anon Daily SESH Reading
GIFT OF HONESTY
In Nar-Anon, we work the Twelve Steps for ourselves. Step Four, “Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves,” can appear to be a difficult and intimidating step. Possibly, because we have been focused on others for so long, especially the addict, we fear we do not know ourselves. Perhaps, like many people who are affected by the disease of addiction, we are suffering from low self-esteem and are frightened that a searching and fearless inventory will show that we are not worthy.
I find that a searching and fearless moral inventory is a journey of self-discovery; one that I need to take for personal growth. In order for me to recognize growth, I first need to know where I am. I need to understand what kind of person I am and to picture the person I want to be.
When I take my Fourth Step inventory, I thoroughly and honestly examine my attitudes, responsibilities, and understanding of important concepts such as self-worth, love and maturity. I look at myself and record my character traits, both my strengths and my weaknesses. I get to know myself and record the findings. I am then prepared to assess what has worked for me and what has not, what I like and what I wish to change. With help, as I work the succeeding steps, I start to make positive changes to become the person I want to be.
Thought for Today: When I take my inventory, I give myself a gift of honesty, which leads to a willingness to grow.
"You have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition. What you'll discover will be wonderful. What you'll discover is yourself." ~ Alan Alda
Copyright © 2007 by Nar-Anon Family Group Headquarters

04/30/2026

April 28 ~ Nar-Anon Daily SESH Reading
NO EXPECTATIONS
One of the hardest things for me to grasp in Nar-Anon was the idea of having no expectations for the addict in my life. Having always had high expectations of everyone involved in my life (especially myself), it seemed foreign to me to let go of those expectations.
By attending Nar-Anon meetings on a regular basis, I can honestly say that I am now able to lower my expectations. Our Nar-Anon Blue Booklet suggests that I “Take no thought for the future actions of others. Neither expect them to be better or worse as time goes on, for in such expectations you are really trying to create.” Expecting the addict not to behave like an addict is denial of reality. I have found I am much happier when I lower or surrender my expectations of the addict, others and myself.
Before Nar-Anon, I could go into a fantasyland of creation, planning for events or happenings before they even came up. In my mind, everything would be so perfect. I would invariably be disappointed. I know it was because of my having such high expectations each time.
Thought for Today: When I lower my expectations, or let go of them altogether, I find myself enjoying and appreciating my life and the addict in my life so much more.
“An expectation is a premeditated resentment.” ~ Anonymous
Copyright © 2007 by Nar-Anon Family Group Headquarters

04/30/2026

April 27 ~ Nar-Anon Daily SESH Reading
DETACHMENT TAKES PRACTICE
At times, detachment has been hard for me. My sickness leads me to believe that I can say or do that one thing to help change the addict’s life. However, my way of helping, shaming, blaming, and complaining, never improved either my life or the addict’s life. Through the program with the help of my Higher Power, I am learning to release with love.
Even though I am in Nar-Anon, there are still many days that I want to interrogate the addict to make sure my prescribed course of action is being followed. Instead, I remember my program and choose a more healthy approach. Reminding myself of my powerlessness over the disease of addiction helps me to detach from another’s actions. The addict’s recovery is the addict’s business. I can only be responsible for my own recovery.
Serenity comes when I understand that there is a Higher Power who loves and cares for each of us, for me as well as for the addict. Detachment with love is not abandonment, but it is surrendering my will and the addict into the loving care of a Power greater than me.
Thought for Today: Nar-Anon literature reminds me that without practice, detachment is merely a theory mentioned in a brochure. Detachment may take time and practice. My Nar-Anon friends keep me on track. Each day, I will work toward the freeing feeling of detachment.
“The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes.” ~ Marcel Proust
Copyright © 2007 by Nar-Anon Family Group Headquarters

04/29/2026

April 3 ~ Nar-Anon Daily SESH Reading
STEP FOUR
When I started attending Nar-Anon, I had a great deal of anger and held much resentment toward my addicted loved one. I blamed him for everything that happened. I felt that I was the one suffering from his addiction. I was the victim, he was the cause of my pain and suffering and I had a right to be angry with him. I hated him and yet I loved him. I stayed with him because we have children. Blaming the addict helped me to justify any and all of my actions, good or bad.
I never thought that I needed to take a look at myself. It was so much easier to not focus on me. I never thought that I had faults and shortcomings. Maybe I was making some bad choices but I was not the addict. In Nar-Anon, I am learning that I am not powerless over myself, I am not the victim and that I have to take responsibility for my choices. I am doing this by working the steps. Step Four has been especially helpful in my recovery as it asks that I take a fearless look at myself. I am asked to identify my character defects. Then I begin to see and understand the part I play in this family disease of addiction.
I now realize that putting the blame on others started long before the addict came into my life. It had always been easier to blame others than to admit the part I played in my troubles, and how my attitude affected my feelings and behavior. Today, I am learning that I need to deal with my anger and resentments. I am doing this for myself because I want peace and serenity.
Thought for Today: Step Four is one of my recovery tools. It helps me see my weaknesses and strengths, so I can play an active role in my recovery.
“Change the behavior and the attitude will follow. I have to put action into my program. I have to take care of myself to believe that I am worth taking care of.” ~ Anonymous
Copyright © 2007 by Nar-Anon Family Group Headquarters

04/29/2026

April 2 ~ Nar-Anon Daily SESH Reading
MAKING JUDGMENTS
I heard someone say, “human beings make mistakes but they are not the mistakes.” This made me wonder about all of the times I sat in judgment of the addict in my life. Did I let the addict think, or did I think that the addict was the mistake? I have not been able to get this thought out of my mind. Human beings make mistakes. I make mistakes. That is how I know I am human. This reminds me how quick I am to judge.
From the Nar-Anon program, I have learned to take my own inventory and to avoid taking the inventory of others. I have learned to set boundaries for myself. I ask myself if this is my issue or the addict's. If it is the addict's, I give it back. I am learning, one day at a time, to forgive myself when I don't and to start over again. I am learning that life is a journey not a destination. I am also learning to make amends quickly when I make a mistake. I know that I cannot control someone else's behavior, only my own. Daily, I ask my Higher Power to help me, to be with me. I am learning to put my Higher Power first, myself second and then others. By taking care of myself in this way, I can be of help to others if they choose to ask. I am learning the relief of not being responsible for the addict's behavior.
Thought for Today: I will not sit in judgment of others including the addict. I will take my inventory, make my amends and humbly ask for my Higher Power’s help. In doing so, I will experience a change for the better.
“If you have made mistakes, even serious ones, there is always another chance for you. What we call failure is not the falling down, but the staying down.” ~ Mary Pickford
Copyright © 2007 by Nar-Anon Family Group Headquarters

04/29/2026

April 1 ~ Nar-Anon Daily SESH Reading

BUILDING TRUST

In Step Four, I learned that many of the beliefs that I impose on others might result in my own pain and disappointment.

I believe that trust is a part of any loving, close relationship. When addiction becomes active in my loved one, I no longer trust him. I have learned that my beliefs and expectations of others are in error. My own beliefs result in my feelings of betrayal, pain, anger, and resentment. I also believe that if the addict lies to me, then he does not love me. I believe a relationship built on trust is a safe haven, a soft place to fall. So why would the addict not want the same? Why would the addict want to taint the relationship with lies? Why risk such a cherished thing?

What is really happening is that my rules for a relationship are being broken. I create expectations for the addict. This causes frustration for both of us. I want him to earn back my trust but when he attempts this, I am scared that because of his past actions he will burn me once again. He feels guilty and ashamed. He would like me to forgive and forget after a few trustworthy attempts at amends, to get the relationship back on track.

In Nar-Anon, I am learning that addiction is a disease and that the addict has lost the power of choice when it comes to drugs. This knowledge gives me compassion to accept the addict.

Thought for Today: I can prevent myself from being hurt by not creating expectations of the addict. When I do, I am opening myself to pain and disappointment. Today I can separate the addict from the illness and love the person. I can allow myself to mistrust the disease. I can do what is necessary to take care of myself.

“Love truth, but pardon error.” ~ Voltaire

Copyright © 2007 by Nar-Anon Family Group Headquarters

03/26/2026

Nar-Anon SESH Daily reading for March 25
SURRENDER TO CHANGE
Since I am not able to think like an addict, my first instinct is to react to their attitudes and choices with anger, fear and frustration. This keeps my focus on other people and other people’s problems, not on my own. I, of course, have no problems, because I am not an addict. I am the one with all the answers. I am the one with all the strength. I can control any situation. I can get others out of any problem they may face. I can relate this behavior to leaking pipes. I am able to put some tape on the first few leaks, but when I run out of tape, I cover them with anything I can get my hands on. I try to hold all the leaks in until they are bursting out of control. I cannot spread myself thin enough to cover them all up. Now, when I find myself knee-deep in water, I have to give up and admit that there is a problem that I cannot fix. This is when I came to Nar-Anon. I came to the program not knowing what to expect, but I knew that I had no idea what to do next. I needed direction. I came with my self-righteous attitude that I could fix anything. I came with all my baggage and habits and techniques that I was sure would work for any situation. I learned that I was living in chaos, and thriving on a way of life that helped me survive the effects of a loved one’s addiction.
Thought for Today: In Nar-Anon, I find ways not merely to survive but to live.
“Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore.” ~ André Gide Copyright © 2007 by Nar-Anon Family Group Headquarters