Raia Kogan Psychotherapy

08/10/2023

So excited to dive into this new book edited by

07/05/2023

Ahead of the return of her beloved relationship-therapy podcast, ‘Where Should We Begin?’, the maestro of modern love muses over TikTokified psychobabble—and why she’s still excited about doing the work.

04/05/2023

It’s happening! After many months,
My Massachusetts license is active and I am beginning to see clients in person in my new home town of Northampton. I will continue to see my California folks by video as well and plan to evolve into a bicoastal practice. I look forward to posting more photos and updates.

08/01/2022

https://bravenewmom.org/can-anyone-see-me-nonbinary-parents/

08/15/2020

Love this article by Marea Goodman! So supportive for couples preparing for parenting. ❤️

"I've had lots of different kinds of relationships with lots of different people and all of those experiences taught me how to be the best mom I can be."

08/04/2020

Love this.

I find it really interesting - the conversations that we have around postpartum wellness and postnatal depression.

Always about the symptoms, the parent, the statistics, the issues - sleep, feeding, mum can't let go, if only she could just relax.

Never really about the systems that we are in. The trauma behind what we feel. The process of transition. It always feels like there is a start and an end.

You get pregnant. You birth a baby. That's it.

You breastfeed. You don't.

They grow up. It's over.

Where is the grief? Where is the ambivalence of knowing that this is such a beautiful time but that you're bone tired and just want to close your eyes - perhaps forever?

Then parents shake that thought. And ask: am I sick? Is there something wrong with me? Why can't I enjoy every single mind-numbing yet wonderful moment?

We only have a clinical response to those questions.

In order to look holistically at postpartum wellness, we need to consider this. All of this.

The treatment is not just medication, mindfulness, talking, walking.

Treatment is also: systemic change, holistic care, overhauling the entire way that we nurture this transition and refuse to normalise the lack of support that weighs parents down.

We ask them to swim and yet we tie a weight to their feet, only to tell them that they didn't try hard enough.

To feel better, to feed longer, to just let them cry.

That's what it feels like sometimes.

I always thought I was losing my mind by feeling this way. My anxiety telling me that something was wrong - when it wasn't. Like I was trying to shift the blame, bypass "the work".

But the more and more I see these surface level conversations, the more and more I feel the need to talk about this.

The ironic thing is that you cannot teach people how to swim. Not without getting them wet. They need to feel it, experience it, trust. Learn by doing.

But we don't throw them in the deep end. We don't tell them that it will come naturally and to call a helpline if it gets too much trying not to drown.

No. We can wade the waves with them. We can physically hold them up. We can take their hand. We can - all before sending the lifeboat.

Image: Nate Neelson

08/03/2020

Love this! Being seen and represented is so important for mental health and wellness in the perinatal time.

i’ve been working on this piece in a collab with Milky Mama, LLC for a long while now but finished it just in time for world breastfeeding week!

everyone’s pregnancy is different, every birth is different, and every feeding journey is different. there are SO many options when it comes to feeding your babe(s) that it can sometimes feel overwhelming.

just remember, whether it’s tandem, chestfeeding, through a g-tube, breastfeeding, utilizing an SNS, through a bottle and/or pumping- whatever works best for you and your family is the BEST way to feed your baby 💕✨

buy a print today:
www.wyldmagick.com/shop

07/14/2020

I am grateful to be part of so many supportive q***r parent communities and groups here in Oakland and yet there is so much more work to do. As a perinatal therapist, I am so honored to support non-binary parents through pregnancy and postpartum.
I have recently begun volunteering for Postpartum Support International’s California chapter with social media. I am excited to begin sharing more inclusive content and helping more clinicians grow in their awareness and skillfulness.
In honor of international non-binary peoples day
🌈

As a proudly self-proclaimed they-at-home-mom — a non-binary parent whose pronouns are she/they — my experiences from pregnancy to today have been an interesting, sometimes frustrating, journey. Every parenting book I’ve read, class I’ve attended,…

06/21/2020

Therapist colleagues, please sign. Black lives matter

To our elected officials: We write to you as the frontline workers ensuring the health and safety of all people in our communities. For hundreds of years, Black individuals in the United States have endured countless forms of violence and harm in everyday life without an audience or validation of ou...

06/04/2020

Black trans people have long stood at the intersection of racist violence and gender violence. In the last month, Nina Pop, a black trans woman killed in early May, and Tony McDade, a black trans man fatally shot by Tallahassee police last week, have become names to rally around, symbolizing the nee...