Jean Schwab, LCSW

02/03/2022

03/27/2021

Here’s a small, gentle poem about the huge, hard subject of death. The contrast between the harshness of death and the tenderness of the poem draws me deeper into contemplating a reality our culture prefers to ignore.

The poem’s title makes it clear that Gregory Orr is not out to romanticize death. He wants to make us more “thoughtful” about it—from the violent deaths we saw this month in Atlanta and Boulder, to the millions of deaths from COVID-19, to the natural deaths of people we love.

It sounds simple, even simplistic, when Orr invites us to become “more thoughtful” about death. But I don’t think it is. Amid all the death we’ve suffered—from the pandemic, racism, misogyny, economic injustice, mass shootings, domestic terrorism, and war—the great danger is that we become so numb that we walk on by the next death we hear about with barely a glance.

That’s the road to inhumanity that some of us and our “leaders” are already on. By inviting us to become thoughtful, Orr is saying “Don't turn away." Instead, walk toward it, walk into it, learn from it, and respond with the way you live and love.

“The body of the beloved,” says Orr, is “given freely, but now to be earned.” What would it mean to live, speak, and act in a way that honors the dead as well as the living?

P.S. Behind this small, gentle poem is a huge, hard story. In a hunting accident when he was 12, Gregory Orr killed his brother. He reflects on that experience at https://tinyurl.com/3vhxd98s.

03/08/2021

Too true.

My son is a troubled kid and is testing the waters. He's being legitimately disrespectful and disobedient. And I'm learning not to put all the blame on myself while I try to help him in any way that I can.

02/22/2021

02/19/2021

Great listen about the disparity within households and the unique stress felt by working moms.

Women are bearing the brunt of kids' virtual schooling and the increased household work associated with the pandemic. 'NYT' reporter Claire Cain Miller says many working mothers have scaled back on their hours or left the workforce entirely due to the pandemic — which could have lasting effects on...

02/14/2021

Far and away, one of the most astute and insightful interviews about love and relationships.
Well worth an hour of your time so pop in those earbuds and give yourself time to reflect.

Love as a skill, not just an enthusiasm. “So often we blame our lovers; we don’t blame our view of love...It’s simply not rooted in anything we know.”

02/08/2021

https://www.nytimes.com/2021/02/06/well/family/suicidal-ideation-kids-resilience.html?surface=home-discovery-vi-prg&fellback=false&req_id=292674770&algo=identity&variant=no-exp&imp_id=716814500

Even when rates of suicidal ideation increase, there are ways to keep kids safe.

01/27/2021

https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2021/01/boys-men-messy-chores/617845/

They're just as good at recognizing messes as women—they just don't feel the same pressure to clean them up.

11/21/2020

https://www.nytimes.com/2020/11/18/parenting/discipline-child-behavior-coronavirus.html?surface=home-living-vi&fellback=false&req_id=974960557&algo=identity&imp_id=42576246

The pandemic makes enforcing rules so much harder.

11/05/2020

https://www.nytimes.com/2020/11/03/parenting/kids-anxiety-stress-coping-pandemic.html?surface=home-discovery-vi-prg&fellback=false&req_id=309229341&algo=identity&imp_id=456243474

Identifying your child’s emotional and behavioral reactions to stress is crucial, experts say, especially when anxieties are high.