Kristen Jacobsen, LCPC - Cathartic Space Counseling

Kristen Jacobsen, LCPC - Cathartic Space Counseling Licensed therapist specializing in anxiety, trauma, and relationships.

This one’s not about candy or costumes.It’s about the way we abandon our own needs, without even realizing it.Avoiding t...
10/31/2025

This one’s not about candy or costumes.
It’s about the way we abandon our own needs, without even realizing it.

Avoiding the hard feelings.
Filling your time so you don’t have to feel.
Saying “I’m fine” when you’re quietly unraveling.

We ghost ourselves all the time.
But the parts you ignore don’t disappear.
They just wait, usually until you burn out, snap, or shut down.

That’s why self-soothing isn’t about “calming down.”
It’s about learning how to stay present with yourself when your old patterns say: run.

Full blog + video are in the link in my bio. 🖤
If this feels familiar… my book Unpacked goes even deeper.

10/30/2025

If “just calm down” worked, you’d have done it already.
But when emotions weren’t accepted or expressed growing up, your brain didn’t learn how to soothe, it learned how to shut down, perform, or avoid.

That’s not overreacting. It’s wiring. And it can be changed.
I explain how in the full blog + video here:
👉 https://www.catharticspacecounseling.com/blog

10/29/2025

Is your “self-soothing” actually just avoidance?

Most people use distraction, numbing out, or overworking to prevent themselves from experiencing uncomfortable emotions. But those “self-soothing strategies” are just avoidance. The real skill is deeper, and most of us were never taught it.

Here’s a quick breakdown from my latest blog post & video:
▪️Distraction ≠ soothing - Scrolling, eating, or zoning out may offer short-term relief, but they don’t build emotional resilience.
▪️It starts in childhood - If emotions weren’t safe or welcomed when you were young, your brain likely learned to disconnect, not regulate.
▪️Real self-soothing is internal - It’s the ability to stay present with discomfort without spiraling or shutting down.
▪️It feels awkward at first - Especially if you’ve spent years performing, people-pleasing, or powering through.
▪️It’s not about being calm - It’s about being connected to yourself when calm isn’t available.
▪️Relearning this isn’t easy, but it’s possible - And it doesn’t start with a bubble bath.

If you struggle with high-functioning anxiety, perfectionism, or childhood trauma - this is essential skill-building, not fluff.
📌 Read the full blog post here: https://www.catharticspacecounseling.com/blog

10/29/2025

Most people think self-soothing means getting rid of distressing emotions.
It’s not.

Real self-soothing is about staying with your emotions instead of running from them, even when everything in you wants to shut down, fix, or avoid.

And if that feels hard, there’s probably a reason.

I break it down here, what self-soothing actually is, why it’s so difficult (especially for high-functioners), and how childhood patterns still run the show:
👉 https://www.catharticspacecounseling.com/blog

I tried to take a solo author photo, but my codependent coworker had other plans. 🐶But really…every time someone message...
10/28/2025

I tried to take a solo author photo, but my codependent coworker had other plans. 🐶

But really…every time someone messages me about Unpacked, I’m reminded why I wanted this book out in the world.

Hearing that people are seeing themselves in these stories, the overthinkers, the perfectionists, the people who’ve spent years doing everything “right” but still feeling off, has been incredible.

If you’ve been curious, maybe this is your sign. 💛
📚 Available in Kindle, paperback, and hardcover
🛒 On Amazon + Barnes & Noble

Most people confuse self-soothing with checking out.Scrolling. Snacking. Zoning out in front of a screen.And the worst p...
10/27/2025

Most people confuse self-soothing with checking out.

Scrolling. Snacking. Zoning out in front of a screen.
And the worst part? It works...for awhile. Then the restlessness comes back, stronger.

Not because there's something wrong with you. But because your brain was never taught how to stay with what you feel.

If you were raised to stuff it down, perform, or not need anything from anyone, then of course soothing feels foreign. Of course your nervous system sees discomfort as danger. That makes sense.

Real self-soothing isn’t a mood booster. It’s a repair process.
It’s learning to stay present with yourself without spiraling, fixing, or shutting down.

Not “I’m fine.”
Not “It’s no big deal.”
But: “This is hard. And I’m still here.”

That kind of self-trust doesn’t come from a script.
It comes from repetition. From slowly showing your brain it doesn’t have to run.

I wrote more about this in my recent carousel, and in my book, Unpacked, for those who feel like they should be over this by now….but still aren’t.

You’re not late. You’re just unlearning things that once kept you safe.

10/25/2025

You don’t have to feel calm to regulate emotions.
You just have to name what’s happening.

“I feel tense.”
“I feel shut down.”
“I feel scared.”

That small step shifts your brain out of panic and back into clarity.
It’s simple. It works. And most of us were never taught it.

👉 Full blog + long-form video here: https://www.catharticspacecounseling.com/blog

📘 Want the deeper work? Unpacked walks you through it: https://www.kristen-jacobsen.com/upackedbook

10/23/2025

If no one showed you how to regulate emotions growing up, of course it feels hard now.
You're not overreacting, your system is doing what it learned to survive.
This isn’t about being dramatic. It’s about what was never modeled.
But it can change. And you don’t have to shame yourself to do it.

👉 Full blog + long-form video here: https://www.catharticspacecounseling.com/blog

📘 Want the deeper work? My book, Unpacked, breaks it all down: https://www.kristen-jacobsen.com/upackedbook

10/22/2025

You’re not exploding because you're dramatic.
You're reacting because your brain thinks you're unsafe.

That sharp tone.
That ignored text.
That moment of silence.

It’s not just this moment. It’s your body remembering every moment like it.
That’s not a flaw, it’s wiring.
And it can change.

👉 Full blog + long-form video here: https://www.catharticspacecounseling.com/blog

📘 Want the full breakdown? Unpacked walks you through how emotional patterns form, and how to shift them: https://www.kristen-jacobsen.com/upackedbook

10/22/2025

Why Your Emotions Feel So Overwhelming

Why do smart, self-aware adults still struggle with emotional reactions that feel disproportionate to the situation?

Here’s what most people don’t realize:
Emotional overwhelm isn’t about being “too sensitive.”

It’s often about unprocessed patterns that started way earlier than adulthood.
👇 A few key insights from my latest breakdown on emotional regulation:
▪️Emotional regulation isn’t a personality trait, it’s a skill shaped by early relationships.
▪️If emotions weren’t welcome or modeled well in childhood, you learned to suppress, avoid, or perform instead of process.
▪️Overreaction is often your nervous system responding to familiar emotional danger, not current reality.
▪️Tools like affect labeling, micro-pauses, and reparenting techniques help, but only if you understand the deeper wiring underneath.
▪️“Staying calm” isn’t the goal. Staying connected to yourself during discomfort is.

📘 I also share how these patterns show up, how they sabotage us, and how they can shift, in my new book Unpacked.

📖 Read the full post here: https://www.catharticspacecounseling.com/blog

Every time someone messages me about Unpacked, I’m reminded why I wrote it in the first place.This isn’t a “self-help” b...
10/21/2025

Every time someone messages me about Unpacked, I’m reminded why I wrote it in the first place.

This isn’t a “self-help” book in the usual sense, it’s a reflection on the quiet, subconscious beliefs we picked up in childhood that still shape how we show up today.

It’s for the high-functioning perfectionists, the people-pleasers, the anxious overthinkers who’ve spent years holding it all together, and are finally ready to understand why.

📚 Unpacked: How to Detach from the Subconscious Beliefs That Are Sabotaging Your Life
✔ Available in Kindle, paperback, and hardcover
✔ Find it on Amazon + Barnes & Noble

Every review and recommendation helps more people discover it, thank you for sharing this with others who might need it. 💛

They didn’t say “don’t feel.”They said “calm down.”They said “you’re being dramatic.”They said nothing at all and sent y...
10/20/2025

They didn’t say “don’t feel.”
They said “calm down.”
They said “you’re being dramatic.”
They said nothing at all and sent you to your room.

So now when emotions show up, your system doesn’t know how to handle them, it freezes, explodes, shuts down, or apologizes for having feelings in the first place.

Not because you’re weak. Not because you’re “too emotional.”
Because your body learned early that emotions weren’t welcome, and your brain did what it had to do: protect you.

What we call “overreaction” is often just an old survival pattern doing exactly what it was wired to do.

Emotion regulation isn’t about staying calm.
It’s about staying with yourself when it’s hard.
Noticing and naming what you feel instead of pushing it away.
Responding instead of reacting.

And here’s the part no one told you:
This is a skill. If no one taught it to you, of course it feels overwhelming now.

I’ve been working on something that goes deeper into all of this, stay tuned.
And if this resonated with you, my book "Unpacked" is where I go deeper.

Address

400 Central Avenue
Northfield, IL
60093

Telephone

+17736339075

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