Kristen Jacobsen, LCPC - Cathartic Space Counseling

09/09/2025

Writing Unpacked has been one of the hardest, most vulnerable things I’ve ever done.

Not because I didn’t know what to say, but because I had to face my own old rules while writing it.

Rules like:

“Keep the peace because conflict never gets resolved.”

“Your needs don't matter.”

“Work harder so no one’s disappointed.”

Those childhood scripts don’t just vanish because you “know better.” They sneak back in, even while writing a book about them.

And now it’s almost here. Unpacked launches Sept. 16th.

Here’s how you can help me bring this book into the world:
📖 Preorder the Kindle eBook now for just $0.99. Link in the comments.

09/08/2025

Here’s the difference between a fear-based boundary and a grounded boundary.

One client told me she started leaving work events early without telling anyone because she felt “drained by the office politics.” She called it a boundary. But really, it was her nervous system in flight mode, trying to escape discomfort without actually addressing the problem. That’s a fear-based boundary. It looks like control on the outside, but underneath it’s avoidance disguised as self-protection.

Later, she tried something different. When her boss asked her to stay late for the third time that week, she said:
“I can’t stay after 6pm tonight. I have personal commitments, and I need to protect my evenings.”

That’s a grounded boundary. She didn’t vanish or silently build resentment, she clearly stated her limit while staying engaged.

The difference?
👉 In the first scenario, she reacted to threat.
👉 In the second, she responded from self-respect.

One shrinks your world out of fear.
The other keeps you steady while still holding your place in it.

Boundaries don’t have to mean walls. Done with intention, they’re how you stay connected, to yourself and to the people around you.

➡️ Follow for therapist-backed tools on anxiety, trauma & boundaries.

09/03/2025

Why You're Exhausted Even When You're Crushing It

What if your exhaustion isn’t just burnout….it’s really about old trauma playing out in real time?

I wrote a new blog post breaking down how trauma (and not the kind you’re thinking of) shows up at work, not in obvious ways, but through patterns that look like “professionalism.”

Here’s what it covers:
▪️ Overworking as a trauma response - the nervous system learns that constant productivity = safety
▪️ Sensitivity to feedback - criticism triggers old survival wiring, not just insecurity
▪️ People-pleasing at work - conflict feels threatening, so saying yes becomes the default
▪️ Difficulty setting boundaries - having needs feels unsafe, even when logically we know better
▪️ Why high-achievers crash harder - performance becomes identity, not just effort
▪️ How trauma echoes parental dynamics - bosses and coworkers often replicate early emotional patterns with authority figures
▪️ Why “just take a break” isn’t enough - these patterns aren’t just mental; they’re physiological

If you’re exhausted, and your time management or productivity hacks aren’t cutting it, it might be time to look beneath the surface.

📘 Plus: my book Unpacked comes out Sept. 16 and dives deeper into how trauma shows up in adult life, especially in high-functioning professionals. Preorder’s open. Link in bio.

09/02/2025

I just saw Unpacked listed on Amazon and….WOW!

This all started as scribbled notes and late-night brainstorming. And now, it’s real. It’s happening. In just a few weeks, it’ll be in readers’ hands.

This book is for anyone who’s ever thought:
“I’m doing everything I’m supposed to, and I still feel stuck.”

Anxiety disguised as productivity. Constant self-doubt. Saying yes when you mean no.
It’s really about what’s buried beneath the surface.

Inside Unpacked, you’ll learn:
✔ Why “push through it” keeps you stuck when the root issue is subconscious
✔ How childhood shaped your adult self-worth, anxiety, and emotional patterns
✔ Practical tools to shift those beliefs so you can finally feel different, not just put on a facade

You can preorder the Kindle for just $0.99, and it’ll download automatically on Sept. 16.
👉 https://www.kristen-jacobsen.com/upackedbook

Your early preorder helps me reach my goal of 100 launch-day purchases & reviews, and I can’t thank you enough for your support.

This moment is surreal. And I’m so grateful you’re here with me.

09/01/2025

08/27/2025

Techniques That Changed My Clients' Lives

Why do smart, self-aware people stay stuck in the same emotional patterns... even after doing “the work”?

Because most healing tools are aimed at the symptom, not the belief running underneath it.

Here’s what I’ve seen again and again in client work: you can journal, meditate, and “set boundaries” all day….but if you’re still operating from subconscious rules you learned at age 6, nothing sticks. It’s like sticking a bandaid on a bullet wound.

Key takeaways from my latest blog on practical inner child work:
- Inner child work isn’t about rehashing your past, it’s about the belief systems you still live by
- Tools should meet your inner child where they are, not where you wish they were
- Subconscious beliefs are emotional habits, not logical ones
- Comfort tools help soothe (e.g. sensory check-ins)
- Growth tools help rewire (e.g. belief-based journaling, self-dialogue)
- More tools ≠ more healing, it’s about using the right ones consistently
- Progress isn’t solely about “feeling better,” it’s about responding differently

If your tools feel like they’re not working, you might just be using them on the wrong layer.

📘 This blog is also a sneak peek into my upcoming book, Unpacked, where I go deep into subconscious change, core wounds, and belief repair.

08/26/2025

When I talk about childhood shaping adulthood, people often push back, “But that was years ago. I’m over it.”

Here’s the thing: your body doesn’t keep time the way your mind does.
Your nervous system remembers.

It remembers feeling like:

"Love has to be earned."

"My needs don't matter."

"It's not safe to relax."

"I'll be abandoned if I disappoint people."

"I can't trust myself."

"I'm only safe when I'm in control."

Those childhood rules didn’t vanish when you grew up.
They became the invisible operating system you’ve been running on ever since.

This book is about finally seeing those rules for what they are, outdated survival strategies, and realizing you’re allowed to live differently now.

Unpacked releases Sept. 16th. Hit follow so you don’t miss launch day.

08/25/2025

She had the routines.
Journaling. Meditation. Boundaries.
But the guilt never left.

The problem wasn’t her effort, it was the belief still driving it all.

“If I make things easy for everyone, I’ll stay safe.”

That belief didn’t come from logic.
It came from childhood.

Most healing tools don’t reach that part of us.
That’s why they don’t stick.

If your tools aren’t working, it might be time to stop coping and start rewiring.

08/25/2025

I think most of us have had seasons where networking felt more like an obligation than something genuinely useful.

That’s why I wanted to share that my colleague, Joy Poli, is hosting "Networking Matters! Your Business Depends On It" on August 28 at 1:00 PM CT, a live virtual event on building connections that actually lead somewhere.

If you’ve been wanting to strengthen your professional relationships (or make new ones without feeling like you’re just collecting contacts), this could be worth your time. Joy is a networking guru!

Details and registration here:

Topics: Networking With Purpose How To Convert Networking What To Do When Networking Is NOT Working Networking That Works For You Takeaways: Shifting Your...

08/22/2025

Just read a piece in the New York Times about fawning, the trauma response that’s basically people-pleasing as a survival strategy.

It’s not about being “too nice.”
It’s about learning, often early in life, that the safest way to exist is to appease, agree, and avoid rocking the boat….even if it means disappearing a little in the process.

What hit me is how invisible it can be. You can be competent, successful, even confident on the outside, and still be running this pattern under the surface.

Noticing it isn’t about shame. It’s about realizing you’re allowed to want more than just keeping the peace.

Worth the read if any of that feels familiar:

Excessive people pleasing can trap you in a cycle of insecurity. Here’s how to break the habit.

08/20/2025

Why You Still Feel Not Enough

Why do high-achievers with impressive resumes still struggle with self-worth?
(It’s not because they need more positive affirmations.)

Here’s what my latest blog breaks down:
🔹 Self-worth isn’t built through achievements - it’s built through safe, consistent connection where you don’t have to earn acceptance.
🔹 Childhood experiences create the blueprint - unconditional vs. conditional self-worth shapes how safe you feel being yourself.
🔹 Trauma wires the brain for constant self-evaluation - leading to anxiety, overthinking, and fear of rejection, even when you’re successful.
🔹 Awareness alone doesn’t work - knowing your worth mentally isn’t enough if your body is still wired for rejection and isolation.
🔹 The mind-body loop keeps old patterns alive - thoughts trigger physical sensations, and physical sensations trigger thoughts, all of which reinforce faulty beliefs.
🔹 Rewiring requires both - updating mental beliefs and creating repeated safe experiences that retrain your nervous system.

📄 Read the full post here → LINK BELOW

📚 Want the full process? My new book "Unpacked: How to Detach From the Subconscious Beliefs That Are Sabotaging Your Life" launches September 16.