Kristen Jacobsen, LCPC - Cathartic Space Counseling

Kristen Jacobsen, LCPC - Cathartic Space Counseling Licensed therapist and author of UNPACKED, helping high-achievers break the patterns that keep them anxious, overthinking, and exhausted.

Licensed Therapist, Author of "Unpacked," TEDx Speaker | Helping high-achievers heal from anxiety, perfectionism, and unresolved trauma | Buy my book here: https://a.co/d/7PQSiei I teach you how to heal the deeper emotional and nervous system wiring behind perfectionism and chronic self-doubt, not just manage it. If you’re ready for real change (not more coping tools), join the waitlist for my 12-week group program, Anxious to Anchored.

You have your sh*t together.That’s what everyone sees.You’re thoughtful, prepared, reliable.The one who thinks things th...
04/27/2026

You have your sh*t together.
That’s what everyone sees.

You’re thoughtful, prepared, reliable.
The one who thinks things through.

But your mind doesn’t really stop.
Replaying conversations. Anticipating outcomes. Trying to get it right.

You recognize your racing thoughts.
You know they're unnecessary.

And yet, your brain is still going a mile a minute.

Because this isn’t about thinking.
It’s about protection.

Overthinking is the part of you trying to stay ahead
so you don’t have to feel what’s underneath.

And the shift isn’t thinking more.
It’s learning you can handle what shows up
without needing to figure it all out first.

04/26/2026

“I’ll just finish this one last thing.”

Famous last words.

Next thing you know, it’s two hours later and you’re still working…
even though nothing was actually that urgent.

Here’s what’s happening:

You’re not staying busy because you necessarily have to.
You’re staying busy because stopping feels uncomfortable.

Because when you stop, the thoughts show up.
The pressure. The “I should be doing more.”

So you keep going, not because anything truly requires it,
but because it feels better than sitting with that discomfort.

This short breaks down a simple way to catch that pattern in real time
and respond differently.

If you want a deeper breakdown of why your brain does this
(and how to shift it), watch the full video on my blog:

[https://www.catharticspacecounseling.com/blog]

04/25/2026

You’re not checking your phone randomly.

There’s a moment right before it happens.

You’re sitting there.
Then a thought shows up:

“I should be doing something.”
“I’m wasting time.”
"Let me just check this one thing real quick."

And you move.

Open your phone.
Check something.
Start doing.

Most people don’t notice that moment.
It's automatic.

But that’s where the pattern lives.

For a lot of high-achievers,
staying in motion isn’t just ambition.

It’s a way to avoid what comes up
when you're not in action mode.

So instead of trying to stop it…

start by noticing that split second.

We had one of the first warm, sunny days here in Chicago recently.And I was inside all day.Five client sessions.A growin...
04/24/2026

We had one of the first warm, sunny days here in Chicago recently.

And I was inside all day.

Five client sessions.
A growing list of unread emails.
Clinical documentation that somehow never ends.

There was more than enough to do.

And every part of me wanted to keep going.

One more email.
One more task.
One more thing to check off the list.

“Because why wouldn’t I?”

But I paused and did what I often ask my clients to do.

I looked at what was underneath the urge.

And it moved quickly.

If I don’t get everything done, something will fall through the cracks.
If something falls through the cracks, I’m being irresponsible.
If I’m irresponsible, I’m failing in some way.
And if I’m failing…

that must mean I’m not good enough.

It wasn’t loud or dramatic.

It was automatic.

An old pattern, running quietly in the background.

And in that moment, staying in motion started to make more sense.

Because getting things done felt a lot better than sitting with that chain of thoughts.

So I did something different.

I stepped away from my computer, went out onto my deck with my dog, and sat in the sun for ten minutes.

Not because everything was done.

But because I could see what was driving the urge to keep going.

That’s usually how it shifts.

Not by forcing yourself to stop…but by recognizing what you’re trying to outrun.

And choosing, even briefly, not to let that be the thing that decides what you do next.

04/22/2026

You don’t decide to get busy again. It just seems to happen.

You sit down for a minute.
Nothing super urgent.
A moment of peace (or so you thought).

Then your brain starts scanning.
“I should be doing something right now.”
“What am I forgetting?”

So you reach for something.
Your phone. A task. Anything.

Not because it matters that much.
Because being unoccupied feels uncomfortable.

For a lot of high-achievers,
productivity becomes a way to stay in motion
and avoid what shows up when things get still.

So the question isn’t “how do I slow down?”

It’s: what shows up right before I spring into action again?

04/22/2026

If you feel uneasy when you’re not being productive, this isn’t about motivation or discipline.

It’s about what productivity has come to mean about you.

Most high-achievers don’t realize they’ve tied their sense of self to output. So when things slow down, it doesn’t just feel uncomfortable. It can feel like an identity crisis.

This article breaks down why that pattern forms, how it keeps you stuck in overdoing, and one simple practice to start separating who you are from what you produce.

You don’t have to keep proving your worth through constant doing.

Link in the comments below.

04/22/2026

If you’ve ever thought: “I feel like I’m always ‘on.’ I wish I could take a break without my mind spiraling about what I should be doing.”

For a lot of high achievers, slowing down doesn’t feel difficult, it feels wrong.

Here’s what’s really going on:
- Productivity isn’t just a habit, it becomes how you measure your value
- Slowing down creates friction because it challenges the belief that your worth has to be earned
- Thoughts like “I’m falling behind” or “I should be doing more” aren’t random, they’re patterned
- Over-functioning, staying “on,” and filling every open moment are predictable responses to those beliefs
- The issue isn’t discipline, it’s that your identity got built around being useful, reliable, and ahead
- You stay in motion as a way to avoid those uncomfortable thoughts & feelings

Most people try to fix this by doing less.

That usually doesn’t work.

Because when productivity = self-worth, slowing down feels like losing something important about who you are.

So the shift isn’t just behavioral, it’s learning to separate what you do from how you evaluate yourself.

Curious, what tends to come up for you when you try to slow down?

If white-knuckling your way through life actually worked, you'd feel better by now.But you're still stuck in the same cy...
04/21/2026

If white-knuckling your way through life actually worked, you'd feel better by now.
But you're still stuck in the same cycles: second-guessing, overachieving, people-pleasing—then burning out and blaming yourself for not being stronger.

Here’s the truth: You’re not weak. You’re conditioned.
Unpacked is your field guide to detaching from the subconscious beliefs you picked up to survive—beliefs that now sabotage your relationships, goals, and self-worth.

Written by licensed therapist Kristen Jacobsen, this book cuts through the noise and gives you straight answers: why your emotional patterns exist, how to shift them, and what lasting change really looks like.

Let go of the rules that were never meant for you—and finally breathe.

It’s the middle of the day.Nothing super urgent. You could step away, eat lunch, reset for a minute.But instead, you tel...
04/20/2026

It’s the middle of the day.

Nothing super urgent. You could step away, eat lunch, reset for a minute.

But instead, you tell yourself you’ll just finish one more thing.

Then another.
And another.

Not because it's all SO important, but because stopping feels uncomfortable in a way that’s hard to explain.

For a lot of high-achievers, productivity isn’t just about getting things done.

It’s how you manage how you feel about yourself.

So when you slow down, the noise underneath gets louder.

And staying busy becomes the easier option.

04/19/2026

You’re practicing boundaries in the hardest possible moments.

A client once told me she was “working on being better at saying no.”
But every situation she chose felt high-stakes.

Work requests.
Family expectations.
Things that already felt loaded.

And every time, she defaulted back to yes.

Not because she didn’t understand boundaries.
But because the stakes were too high to try something new.

So we shifted it.

Smaller moments.
Lower pressure.
Simple preferences.

Responding a little later.
Saying no to something minor.

Nothing dramatic.

But it gave her a different experience.
One where she didn’t automatically override herself.

That’s usually where this starts to change.

04/18/2026

You said no….and then explained your reasoning three different ways.

One of my clients was proud that she had finally set a boundary at work.
Clear. Direct. No hesitation.

And then…she kept talking.

Adding context.
Blaming external constraints.
Making sure it “made sense.”

By the end, the boundary was still there,
but it didn’t feel as solid.

This is a pattern I see often.

The discomfort shows up after you say no.
And instead of sitting with that, you try to manage how it’s received.

So you overexplain.

Not because the boundary was unclear,
but because it feels safer to justify it.

That’s usually the moment to pause and reflect.

Most people don’t struggle with knowing their boundaries.They struggle with holding them once they’ve said them.So they ...
04/17/2026

Most people don’t struggle with knowing their boundaries.

They struggle with holding them once they’ve said them.

So they overexplain.
They soften their tone.
They add context to make it land better.

Anxiety starts scanning for how it might be received.
Perfectionism steps in to make sure it sounds “right” or "reasonable."

So the boundary shifts.

Not in what you need,
but in how firmly you stand behind it.

And over time, it becomes something else:

Managing others' reactions.
Protecting how you’re perceived.
Negotiating what you're trying to communicate.

This is where boundaries quietly turn into self-abandonment.

Not all at once.
In small adjustments that feel reasonable in the moment.

Address

400 Central Avenue
Northfield, IL
60093

Telephone

+17736339075

Website

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