12/12/2025
Today, our pediatric office was graced by a hero.
A warrior.
A tiny, masked bandit with the heart of a lion and the diet of a dumpster.
At approximately 10:14 AM, a raccoon, whom we shall simply call Rocky, stormed the premises with confidence, ambition, and zero respect for human schedules. He marched through our parking lot like he owned the place. He paused. He stared into our souls. He considered filing for residency.
DEEP arrived soon after.
And for 2 minutes and 30 seconds…
We witnessed a battle of legends.
Rocky charged.
DEEP countered.
Rocky juked left.
DEEP adjusted.
Rocky paused to reconsider life choices.
DEEP did not.
It was a glorious dance.
A showdown of wills.
A Shakespearean clash between government authority and a furry creature who probably hadn’t slept in three days.
In the end, DEEP emerged victorious, escorting our mighty friend off the premises.
But his spirit?
Untamed.
Unbroken.
Probably still hungry.
He is survived by the office staff, several terrified squirrels, and one very confused UPS driver.
Fly high, noble raccoon.
May the dumpsters be full and the traffic light.
