Sunday Morning Café

Sunday Morning Café Dr. Tom Wagner is a resilience researcher, keynote speaker, workshop leader and counselor with 30+ years of experience.

Follow him for weekly tools and inspiration to unlock resilience and deepen connection.

“Stronger in the broken places” refers to how a bone heals after a break. Have you ever been in a relationship where th...
02/18/2026

“Stronger in the broken places” refers to how a bone heals after a break. Have you ever been in a relationship where that happened?

Sooner or later, you will hurt someone you love. The question isn’t whether it happens — it’s who you become when it does.

In this week’s reflection, I consider how real apology becomes a doorway to growth.

☕ Link in comments.

This past weekend, we gathered as a sold-out room (over 100 of us!) to reflect on what it means to build whole-hearted r...
02/17/2026

This past weekend, we gathered as a sold-out room (over 100 of us!) to reflect on what it means to build whole-hearted relationships.

The more we gather like this, the more deeply I feel the importance of this mission.

Lynn was stunning. Her music didn’t just fill the room; it created space for reflection and vulnerability. I had so much fun presenting with Lisa. It felt authentic, like inviting you into a living room conversation we’ve been having for years.

The moment that will stay with me was the Sacred Breathing. Moving back and forth between Lynn’s music and guided breathing led to a sense of connection I will never forget.

Thank you to everyone who spent their Sunday with us. If you missed this one, I hope you’ll join us next time.

Coming up: April Sunday Morning Cafe Event — “From Post-Traumatic Stress to Post-Traumatic Growth: Perspectives on Extracting Meaning from Adversity” featuring Happiness Expert, Author, and Professor Tim Bono, PhD. I would love to see you there. Grab your early bird tickets here: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/sunday-morning-cafe-event-april-12-2026-registration-1982285152252?aff=previouseventpromo

I’m grateful for this community — for your willingness to slow down and consider what it means to live wholeheartedly.

Stay tuned: the podcast from this event will be coming soon.

You can wallpaper over a hole in the wall. But the damage underneath is still there.That’s what some apologies do.“If I ...
02/15/2026

You can wallpaper over a hole in the wall. But the damage underneath is still there.

That’s what some apologies do.
“If I hurt your feelings, I’m sorry.”
“For anything I’ve ever done…”

They cover. They don’t repair.

Don’t wallpaper the wall. Repair it.

☕ This week’s Sunday Morning Café walks through what a real apology requires: humility, ownership, forgiveness, and amends. Read it here: https://www.tomwagnerspeaker.com/post/relationship-repair-the-heart-of-resilience

02/11/2026

In a culture where loneliness and disconnection are reaching epidemic levels, spaces of real belonging matter more than ever. That's the heart of our Sunday Morning Café gatherings.

We're almost sold out for our February 15 event on Whole-Hearted Relationships: finding them, keeping them, and strengthening them. Last chance to get your tickets here: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/sunday-morning-cafe-event-february-15-2026-registration-1915874174229?aff=social

We’ll gather in the warm, Hogwarts-like setting of Eden Theological Seminary in Webster Groves, with soul-soothing music by singer-songwriter Lynn O’Brien (for the last time before she moves to the west coast!). Wine, beer, and hearty appetizers are included—making this a perfect date-night or self-date outing.

Led by me, Dr. Tom—resilience researcher, keynote speaker, and therapist for 30+ years—I offer simple tools and inspiration to help unlock resilience and deepen connection.

☕ These gatherings are an antidote to modern living: a rare space to pause, reflect on meaningful topics, and truly connect.

All are welcome. Come as you are. Leave with new friends—and a renewed sense that what’s deepest within us is most universal between us.

Would you be open to falling in love again—with life, with presence, with community?

You can’t problem-solve with someone who feels like a stranger.In my Sunday Morning Café reflection this week, I explore...
02/11/2026

You can’t problem-solve with someone who feels like a stranger.

In my Sunday Morning Café reflection this week, I explore why distressed relationships so often suffer less from a lack of effort and more from a loss of ease. Drawing from decades of couples therapy—and my own marriage—I reflect on how play shrinks distance, restores closeness, and makes the real work of love possible.

Whether you’re partnered or single, this reflection includes a simple, playful practice for renewing connection and lightening the weight relationships can carry.

☕ Read the full reflection — link in comments.

When play disappears from a relationship, work quietly takes over.Conversations become negotiations.�Time together becom...
02/08/2026

When play disappears from a relationship, work quietly takes over.

Conversations become negotiations.�
Time together becomes maintenance.�
Love starts to feel heavier than it needs to be.

What if the work of marriage became lighter—not by doing more—but by playing more?

☕ Read the full reflection here: https://www.tomwagnerspeaker.com/post/marriage-isnt-hard-work-its-mostly-play

After long deprivation, even Spam can feel like a gourmet meal.If you’ve come out of a relationship where your needs wer...
02/04/2026

After long deprivation, even Spam can feel like a gourmet meal.

If you’ve come out of a relationship where your needs weren’t met, it’s easy to rush toward relief.

But in major life decisions, you don’t want to be pushed — you want to be pulled.

This week’s reflection ends with an invitation to do the inner work that allows love to be chosen freely, not driven by old hunger or fear.

☕ Watch this week’s Sunday Morning Café reflection, “Why You Do NOT Have to Marry the Wrong Person (and How to Marry the Right One)” using the link in the comments.

“So Tom, given the dysfunction in your family — given the abusive nature of your dad toward you growing up — what makes ...
02/01/2026

“So Tom, given the dysfunction in your family — given the abusive nature of your dad toward you growing up — what makes you think you could be a good husband or father?”
– a question Lisa asked me when we were dating 😳

Here's what I've learned: the wound you don’t transform, you transmit. But a wound that’s been faced can become a gift, even a source of healing.

☕ This week’s reflection is a video, and it explores how self-work, therapy, and honest reflection matter deeply when choosing a life partner. Watch it here: https://www.tomwagnerspeaker.com/post/why-you-do-not-have-to-marry-the-wrong-person

There’s something about a good space that creates community and shapes a good conversation.Over the past few months, Sun...
01/29/2026

There’s something about a good space that creates community and shapes a good conversation.

Over the past few months, Sunday Morning Café has gathered in places that feel rooted, warm, and deeply local:

☕ Telva at the Ridge, recently named one of Yelp’s Top 100 Restaurants in the country.
🍷 Parker's Table at Oakland & Yale, one of those local spots you leave already planning your next visit.
📚 And next, on 2/15, a gathering nestled into the Hogwarts-like warmth of Schroer Commons at Eden Theological Seminary.

From neighborhood gems to nationally recognized venues to cozy spaces that feel quietly enchanted — Sunday Morning Café is as much about where we gather as why.

These places help us discover local favorites, support our community, and meet neighbors we might not have known otherwise

That’s the heart of Sunday Morning Café.

On 2/15, we’ll gather again for our February Sunday Morning Cafe Event — not just for a conversation about relationships, but to sit together in a space that feels set apart from the ordinary, and discover (yet another) local place worth returning to.

🎟 Join us. Tickets in the comments.

What if grace is given in ‘just enough’ doses, over years, to shape a life?This week’s reflection explores how marriage ...
01/28/2026

What if grace is given in ‘just enough’ doses, over years, to shape a life?

This week’s reflection explores how marriage and commitment form patience, courage, and love.

📷: The first photo was taken in the hospital room the night that Annalise was born. I made the room into a restaurant. Annalise is off camera, but in her bassinet.
The second captures Annalise and her husband, Matt, on their wedding day.

Link to the full article is in the comments. ☕

Some problems in marriage are meant to be solved. Others are meant to solve us.In this week’s Sunday Morning Café reflec...
01/25/2026

Some problems in marriage are meant to be solved. Others are meant to solve us.

In this week’s Sunday Morning Café reflection, I explore the idea of marriage as a people-growing machine—a long, demanding process that presses us up against the limits of our patience, love, and courage.

☕ Read the full article here: https://www.tomwagnerspeaker.com/post/marriage-a-people-growing-machine

P.s. Enjoy this early photo of Lisa and me, pregnant with our first child, Annalise—followed by a photo of us at Annalise’s wedding.

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