Chris Guthrey, PsyD

09/12/2023

09/12/2023

Recommending this book for men’s work. If you preorder this book you can get access to a recorded seminar!

06/16/2023

sonsandbros
NORMALIZE MEN

NEEDING EMOTIONAL
SUPPORT

05/08/2022

Mother’s Day is a wonderful way to celebrate the mother/s in your life. However I wanted to make this post to acknowledge the people who are experiencing difficult emotions today.
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Here’s to those of you who:
🌹 Lost your mother
🌸 Are estranged from your mother
💐 Are estranged from your children
🌺 Were pregnant but lost your child
🌷Who has a child who developmentally is not able to celebrate Mother’s Day
🥀 Wants to be a mother but cannot bear children
🌻 Wants children but cannot find the right partner
🌼 who terminated a pregnancy when you weren’t ready for children and carry emotions around that choice
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Please remind me if there are even other situations that I may have missed in this post.
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🤍 Know that I see you and you are not alone. Perhaps this is also a reminder that even if you’re not in one of these categories, that very likely there are people close to you who are.

07/07/2021

It is very difficult to just ‘stop worrying’ as I’m sure you have tried in many ways.
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So in ACT there are 6 different responses to worrying:
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1️⃣Refocusing: acknowledging the worries or feelings of anxiety and then bringing your attention back to the present moment (classic mindfulness exercises).
2️⃣Observing worries: becoming the observer of your thoughts. Like watching your thoughts pass through your mind like leaves on a stream or clouds in the sky.
3️⃣Rapid unhooking skills: noticing, name the thought/feeling and refocus to the present moment. Doing this practice repeatedly in quick succession.
4️⃣Acceptance of physical sensations: check in with your body. Notice the physical sensations which removes from the content of the worry.
5️⃣Reminder to reconnect to your values: our worries are always related to our values, so take a moment to check in with those values and see if there are other ways to take action on those values and away from pointless worry.
6️⃣Reminder to practice self-compassion. Acknowledging how difficult this feelings of worry are and practice ways to show up for yourself in a kind and supportive way.
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05/04/2021

So as I mentioned in my story I have struggling with some frustration in my meditation.
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😩I have just been feeling uncomfortable when I’m meditating, not physically but emotionally. Perhaps some of it is in the form of anxiety but some of it is a deeper feeling of failure and anger towards myself for not being able to gain some better insights or have a more fulfilling experience.
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❌I like to share this because it’s easy to think that meditation is all about love and light and relaxation that it’s easy to feel like you’re doing it wrong if you’re experiencing something different.
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🧘🏻‍♀️When we meditate, we are allowing ourselves to be open to experiencing ourselves fully, and that can be overwhelming. It’s not about focusing on the positive and forcing all negative from your mind. We come across the things we are frustrated with or even hate about ourselves.
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These experiences, however uncomfortable they may be in the moment are still useful and valuable. They allow us to become aware of the challenges that we wouldn’t normally face so we can know ourselves and learn to have compassion for ourselves.
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📿Mindfulness Moment: I’m talking myself through this as well as anyone else reading and am ready to try it again tomorrow. This practice will be 1️⃣note that anger and frustration are coming up 2️⃣ step away from judgment of this experience and be aware of the experience as a whole, including physical experiences 3️⃣ being in the self compassion and understanding that I am a human with limitations like everyone else and that I don’t need to push myself to have a particular experience.
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04/01/2021

I was recently asked for some tips on making starting a mediation practice less intimidating for a ‘newbie’. I’m going to share in this post a few ideas that came to me for them along with some general practices to keep in mind for getting a practice started.
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1️⃣Don’t try to force yourself to have any specific type of experience. A big part of the learning curve for ‘newbies’ is just accepting their experiences, even if it feels frustrating or like you’re not ‘getting it’ or ‘doing it right’.
2️⃣A simple a technique that you can always fall back on is to focus on your breathing. Noticing without judging the sound, pace, and sensations of your breath then notice when your attention wanders and gently bring your attention back to your breath.
3️⃣ Start a sitting practice where you start with a 5 min goal once or twice a day and slowly build up to longer times.
4️⃣ Create a mediation spot in your living space where you can consistently go and sit comfortably. Perhaps this means having a cushion out to sit on or setting up an ‘alter’ to place relaxing and meaningful items to help you feel calm and focused.
5️⃣ Set a specific time that you will reasonably be able to meditate. Don’t just say you will meditate in the mornings, note what time you will sit down and figure out if that’s going to be reasonable or if you’ll need to get up a little earlier so you’re not rushed to do it.
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Meditation, like any habit takes time and practice!
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03/31/2021

Here are some rocks! These particular rocks are smooth and shaped to fit nicely in between a persons thumb and forefinger. They are a small mindfulness tool I use on a regular basis.
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🪨 These stones are called ‘touch stones’ or ‘worry stones’ and are pleasing to the touch and easy to carry around and use relatively inconspicuously. I often hold one in my hand as I’m doing therapy. It gives me a tactical sensation to bring my attention back to the present moment.
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🧘🏽There isn’t any one thing that will force you be mindful. I’ve tried all the tricks, but below are some tools that might help act as reminders or give a focal point for the practice of mindfulness to take hold.
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Some other tools include:
📿 Mala or prayer beads - touch one bead while saying a mantra or being mindful a single breath, when that is complete move to the next bead and repeat until you’ve come fully back to the place you started.
🎶 music - any kind of music can act as a mindfulness tool if you make the intention to pay attention to each sound and listen like you haven’t heard it before.
🚶 taking a walk - pay attention to each step and notice the sensation of your each step.
📖 Coloring book - there are many ‘adult’ coloring books that are intricate and challenging meant to help you stay focused and present on your task.
🥣Singing bowl or chime- make it ring and pay as close attention to the sound until it is no longer audible
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Any other tools that work for you?
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02/10/2021

Today is my birthday! This one really snuck up on me, not just my birthday, but 35?! Really, mid-thirties?! I’m pretty sure the last time I thought about my age I was 32. What happened?! Well I guess covid year happened. My wife and I moved back to CA from NC in late 2019 and have been in temporary living situations since then due to challenges getting established again during the pandemic. But in the last few months I’ve finally been able to get my practice steady and predictable again. Through the process, my wife and I have thankfully remained very strong together and have also made some big realizations about what we value and want for our lives together. We decided to move to Victoria’s home town of Quincy, Ca and are currently in the last stages of buying a home here! So that is something to be very grateful for during this time when so many people are continuing to experience so much uncertainty. I’m realizing that with this new chapter and this significant age I have to do some processing around transitioning from the first part of my life where the work has been on figuring out who I am and where I want my life to go, to now where I suppose the focus is more on living it. I can feel it as a strange transition but also a welcomed one. Perhaps even opening the door to fatherhood soon which I’m finding myself very much excited for.
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Thank you for reading my thoughts as always and being part of my journey. ❤️

01/29/2021

It actually happens a lot! I actually find it very endearing...and surprising. In my head I’m always like, holy s**t I guess you really see me as some sort of professional!
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🤬I mostly just wanted to reflect on this because it happens a lot and if you are seeing a therapist I want you to know that you can be yourself. Swear, be messy, be judgmental and opinionated. I can take it. If your therapist can’t, it’s a shortcoming of theirs, not yours.
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🥸The more you can be yourself the more that you can be truly seen and supported for who you really are.
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💡 If you find it difficult to do this with your therapist, perhaps that’s a great conversation to bring up with them.
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So go for it, be yourself to the fu***ng fullest!
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01/03/2021

First of all, yes, even psychologists and mental health workers experience anxiety, stressors and the same life challenges as everyone else. So don’t despair if you haven’t reached mental health enlightenment, I’m not sure that exists!
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💯What matters is the way that you utilize your resources and skills to help you manage a situation and make it through with your sanity as in tact as possible.
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👉🏻I’ve had a pretty rough week this week and have repaired heavily on the following skills this week:
1️⃣First on the list? You guessed it: Mindfulness. It’s not just a buzzword, it’s a hardcore skill that helps me manage and tolerate intense anxiety and emotions. I take a step back, take some deep breaths and allow myself to feel into the experience of overwhelm without judgment. It doesn’t make it disappear, but it does help me tolerate it long enough for things to start to shift.
2️⃣ De-catastrophizing: Yes it’s a made up word but you can probably already relate. It’s the skill of noticing when you’re focusing on worst case scenario...and then not doing that, by bringing to mind all the other possible outcomes.
3️⃣Strategizing: no matter how stuck you are, there are always options. There might not be a ton of great options at the moment, but there are always choices that can be made. Bring yourself aware of all your options.
4️⃣Self-care: this can be so many things at different times. Essentially just checking in with your needs and trying to do what you can that will help you feel even a little better. Some basics I always fall back onto are taking a walk, drinking water, taking a little longer of a shower, making a nice meal for myself and dancing. At times for me it’s even having a nice beer and even at rarer times, a cigar like I did this evening. It’s funny that some things like that can be self-care at times but at other times might not be helpful or good. Only you can decide what you need in any given time.
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📿Mindfulness Moment: Take a deep breath, check in with yourself. Do you need any of these skills? Maybe some others that you implement?
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⬇️I’d love to hear some strategies that work for you in the comments below!

12/23/2020

I just found out my mom was exposed to covid and has developed some symptoms.
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😷We had already been contemplating how to do a safe as possible Christmas together by keeping it small, and figuring out a mask etiquette we could be comfortable with.
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‼️Then today, just one day before we were about to leave to her house my mom got a call that someone she had been in close contact with tested positive.
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😳Naturally we canceled our plans and are hoping my mom will be able to ride it out with the minimal symptoms she has been showing so far. I’m concerned for my mom and also grateful that she found out when she did because the whole family would have been infected, including some vulnerable people.
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🦠 So to me this was a stark reminder that covid isn’t disappearing and just because we want to be around family during the holidays, doesn’t mean that it’s going to be safe.
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❤️I realize there are a ton of people, like me who have been on the fence about what to do but feel like with some precautions everything will be fine. I’m not judging, especially because I was right there with you but I would like this message to be one of reconsidering those plans.
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👨🏽‍💻I have a client who mentioned doing an open zoom call with his family. I was impressed and inspired by his dedication. I know that doesn’t sound as exciting, but with vaccines coming out, I’d bet next year is going to feel a lot safer. Maybe just this year consider doing the holiday from home.
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