12/12/2023
I turned 42 yesterday. This age is busy, expensive and a lot more gray—but I am loving my 40s.
Here's 42 tips I've learned along the way.
Stop saying sorry. Unless, of course, it’s appropriate. I’m sorry I stepped on your cat. I’m sorry I bumped into you and spilled your red slushy drink. Sure. That’s worth a sorry. But don’t apologize for being too loud or too quiet or too much for anyone. You be you and be proud of it.
Life is short. Hug your loved ones. Tell them how you feel. Truly. Does it feel weird to say it to their face? Are emotions hard for you? No worries. Write it on a sticky note, hand it to them and turn around so you don’t have to make eye contact as they read it. “Hey, I love you. The end.” Do it. They need to know how you feel.
Get to know God. Go to church. Find your community. I know it’s rough out there, but man, when things get tough (and life will get tough) everyone and everything will leave you. But God won’t. There’s incredible peace when you know Him. PS: He’s a big fan of you even if you aren’t sure about him.
Be good to your spouse/partner. Does he annoy you when he leaves his shoes on the floor? Does she make you want to cringe with all that dang hair clogging the shower drain? Meh. Let it go. See above (life’s too short).
Don’t be afraid of hard work. Show up on time. Be respectful. More doors will open for you if you do this.
Don’t confuse hard work with overworking. Everyone needs to rest and refuel. And life is much bigger (and better) than work.
Apologize when you mess up.
Forgive when someone else messes up. Yes, this one is hard.
Stay humble. No one likes an arrogant jerk.
Yes, our babies grow quickly. But don’t beat yourself up if you didn’t soak in every moment. Just do the best you can and love them with all your heart.
Wear what you want to wear. Who gives a flying hoot what other people think.
Don’t cheat on math tests in high school. It will haunt you for the rest of your life.
Stop the gossip.
Generic ketchup is gross. Spend a couple more bucks on the good stuff.
Floss your teeth. Yes, every single day.
Find your person. One person who will love you for who you are. Even when you mess up (you will). Someone who will be honest with you and support you and encourage you. Someone who believes in you.
You have to be a friend to find a friend. I know that’s terrifying especially if that person rejects you. Gah. That's hard. But life isn’t meant to be lived alone. Keep trying. I promise your person is out there.
Pay your taxes. On time.
When Don’t Stop Believin' comes on in the grocery store, stop everything and start singing. Try to get the person next to you to do it too.
If you see something on social media that makes you ragey, keep scrolling. Or block that person. No need to leave a comment. It will just make your rage level explode.
Listen to others. You don’t have to agree. You shouldn’t always agree. But give them space to talk. Hopefully they’ll do the same for you.
Learn all you can.
Don’t compare yourself to that one girl. She may seem perfect, but she is just a normal, flawed human like the rest of us. She probably has spinach in her teeth right now.
Always keep tweezers in your car and with you. You never know when you’ll need to pluck chin hair.
Boundaries are a very good thing.
Not everyone will like you. Even if you’re kind and generous and have never said a bad thing about anyone. Ever. Someone will find something to dislike about you. Shake it off, friend. Your worth isn’t found in their approval. Promise.
Volunteer for organizations you love and give back when you can.
Don’t put your body in those dang tanning beds. I know you want that little bunny tattoo that comes from the sticker and fake sun but it’s dumb. Also, use sunscreen. Lots of it.
Pay a little more than required each month on all loans. You’ll get that debt paid off quicker.
And when that debt is paid off, travel and take on a little more debt once again. What’s money anyway? Can’t take it with you when you go.
If you get a belly button ring, that’s cool. But you need to know when you’re pregnant, your belly button will stretch and morph into something you’ve never seen, and after your baby is born, your belly button stays weird and there’s a random stretchy hole leftover from the piercing. So just be prepared for that.
Sometimes friends are meant only for a season. This can be hard, but in time you’ll learn that it’s OK, too.
Find something each day to bring you joy. Even if it’s small—like finding a random tootsie roll in your pocket or feeling the sunshine on your face. Search for it. It will make the dark times a little easier.
Don’t trust gas station hot dogs.
Don’t drink anything out of trash cans.
Cheer for everyone. Your neighbors, your friend, your delivery truck driver, your great aunt Pearl. Happiness is contagious. Even the grumpiest grump will appreciate your kindness. And if he doesn’t, just throw more kindness his way.
Drop the jealousy. This can be tough, but I promise, there’s room for everyone.
When you reach that goal and get where you’re going, help the next person in line to get there too.
Spread grace like confetti.
Don’t be afraid to try. You’re going to fail. You’re going to mess up. You’re going to shoot the basketball into the opponent’s basket. It’s going to suck for a while, yes. But the good stuff is made in those moments. Stand back up and try again. It’s way more fun to try than to live scared.
Marry the person who will redo your hardwood floors hours after they are installed.
No dream is too big. Seriously.
Cheers to another year! 42 still feels like I'm just getting started.
Grateful for YOU and this little spot on the internet. ❤🎉 Leslie Means
