Dr. Alexandra Laifer, Clinical Psychologist

04/08/2025

PROFESSIONAL OFFICE SPACE SUBLEASE AVAILABLE:

Location: 1015 Chestnut Avenue Carlsbad, CA 92008
Price: $300 a month for one day per week
Details:
- Great location, easy access, next to I-5 freeway and local park
- Quiet professional building
- Office around 200-300 sq feet
- Front and back entrance to the suite for privacy
- Will be newly renovated, fully furnished and decorated
- Light switch reception and waiting room with fridge and water for clients
- Office will have internet, copy machine, printer, and electronic fax, fridge, and microwave

DM or email alexandra.laifer@gmail.com for more details if interested!

01/03/2025

Happy New Year!

To start 2025 off right, I will be leading a new 12-week, Virtual Mindful Self-Compassion Class Starting on Thursday, January 23rd at 4:00 PM!

Learn to be kinder to yourself in a supportive and inclusive environment.

Click on the link below for more details and to get tickets!

Learn to be kinder to yourself in our Mindful Self-Compassion Class - join us virtually!

06/21/2022

I was so pleased to be the featured guest on my friend Dr Rupa Wong’s podcast, talking about facing life transitions and the stress they can bring, using mindfulness and acceptance to work through difficulty, and shifting your perspective by practicing in small ways. All my favorite things to discuss! Hope it resonates with you.

It's Good To See You | Eye Health, Vision Care & More · Episode

04/12/2022

Back in the office on a limited basis (mornings only) after over two years away! Feels so good to be in person again. I’m for my Coway HEPA air filter (and vaccination) that is allowing me to be here. Welcome back!

01/04/2022

First of the !

Toxic positivity and the incessant believe that if you “just stay positive,” everything will be okay can be very detrimental to people who are suffering. It negates the totality of the human experience, which includes difficult, dark, and negative things at times, and makes people feel further isolated and alone when they cannot achieve the positivity that they’ve been told is lacking and causing their suffering.

Instead, consider “tragic optimism,” a search for meaning in the face of adversity, aligned with the ideas put forth by Holocaust survivor Dr Viktor Frankl in his book Man’s Search for Meaning. Rather than endless positivity, it highlights the importance of growth and resilience alongside a realistic acknowledgement and understanding of one’s circumstances. It’s about finding the guiding light in the darkness rather than avoiding the darkness altogether, because ultimately the darkness may be unavoidable but the search for light and meaning is always possible ✨⭐️

Really appreciating this piece in the Atlantic from August which further explains and elucidates the concept of tragic optimism.

“Tragic optimism” is the search for meaning during the inevitable tragedies of human existence, and is better for us than avoiding darkness and trying to “stay positive.”

05/06/2020

I was very honored to be interviewed as the featured guest on a podcast about coping with stress during the pandemic. I got to share wisdom about managing discomfort, normalizing grief, and making use of mindfulness and self-compassion to help during these difficult times. Check it out and feel free to pass it along to others!

05/05/2020

I will often recommend that people practice as a way to cultivate happiness in their lives and seek joy. It can be difficult for some but when practiced regularly, focusing on gratitude can be a wonderful way to balance struggles in life.

We are in unprecedented challenging times and right now there is a lot of fear and uncertainty circulating; people are experiencing genuine, legitimate suffering for many reasons. Gratitude won't take that away. Gratitude also won't bring back people and things that have been lost. It is not a magic cure for what ails us.

What gratitude does, however, is remind us of the gentle tension between light and dark in our lives, that even in the darkest moments, there is something that could be shining, albeit dimly. It forces us to reckon with the fact that alongside pain and suffering, there could still be beauty and joy to be found, however small it may be.

You can feel grateful and also feel bad. You can feel grateful and also feel sorrow. You can feel grateful and also feel angry. One does not negate the other. There can be room for everything. And perhaps, by making space for all of it, you can create some balance within and ride the waves of despair more smoothly.

Wishing everyone peace and the ability to find moments of joy here and there.

04/16/2020

I attended a webinar course today on how to address the unique psychological distress that is coming out of the coronavirus crisis. I learned a lot of things today but something that really stuck with me was the following:

In this moment of uncertainty, where illness and death loom in a largely invisible yet potent, inescapable way, think about who matters most to you in your life and how much you value them. Tell them you love them, make sure they know how you feel about them, and how much they mean to you. Do not let anything of importance go unsaid. All we have is now and no one knows how long that will be.

Stay safe and healthy and well, everyone. And if you are experiencing anxiety, depression, feelings of overwhelm, or any other kind of distress, please know you are not alone. Seek out help and support from loved ones or a professional. Everyone is just a click away from being face to face with you. There is no need to suffer alone.

03/27/2020

First and foremost, I want to wish everyone good health and as much comfort as possible during this difficult, surreal time in our world. It is not easy to get up each day and face the level of deep uncertainty that is plaguing us right now as we grapple with the far-reaching impacts of the novel coronavirus on our society and our way of life. In what has seemed like the blink of an eye, everyone and everything feels different, and often unstable, as we chart these unprecedented waters. Please know that you are not alone in feeling this way. It's become somewhat of a tagline but indeed we are all in this together, for better or worse.

I truly admire the efforts of many to put a positive spin on the ramifications of living during this era: the ways in which being sheltered in place, or socially distanced, create new opportunities for connection and how we can view this time as a way to accomplish tasks or goals that we typically do not have space in our lives to address. I applaud those who have found success in those endeavors thus far and hope it maintains itself over time, and may you continue to inspire others in your pursuits.

For many others, however, this is a time of profound confusion, of increased stress and anxiety because of the sudden changes in the demands of life, i.e., children at home, working in different spaces, not working anymore, loved ones becoming ill. Such conditions, along with pervasive, underlying uncertainty, make increased productivity seem nearly impossible and have the potential to make you feel like you're failing at everything, further compounding the initial difficult feelings. Please be kind to yourself and know that you are doing the best you can under the circumstances. Maybe this is simply not the time for you to be cleaning out your kitchen drawers or learning a new language. There's no sense in beating yourself up about it. Dig deep for your strength and resilience and try to lift yourself up in those ways. Like all things in life, this moment is temporary. We may not know exactly when it will end, just that it will end at some point.

The truth is, there is profound loss happening at this moment. Loss of life as we know it. Loss of connections that we treasure. Loss of life as people succumb to this disease around the world. It is painful, it is gut-wrenching, and it deserves to be honored in some way. Grief is the way that humans make sense of loss and this time in our lives is no different. Feel your pain. Acknowledge it. Give it space. It will need to come out in some way and no better time than now.

And most importantly, reach out to people for support in whatever way feels workable to you. You might feel like the world has become constricted, and in many ways it has, but technology has enabled the gap to narrow somewhat, allowing us to approximate closeness in ways that can be very healing.

Take good care of yourself so that you can take good care of those around you. We are all in this together.

https://hbr.org/2020/03/that-discomfort-youre-feeling-is-grief

12/09/2019

Most of my patients have heard me talk about and promote mindfulness practice in my sessions with them. Today I had the good fortune to attend a half-day mindfulness retreat at the UCSD Center for Mindfulness. I got to practice mindfulness for three hours and it was wonderful! We did sitting meditations, yoga poses, body scan, walking meditation, qi gong, and lovingkindness meditation. I feel very grateful to have had this opportunity and I look forward to sitting with my patients this week as we cultivate present-moment awareness together.

07/02/2019

We tend to be very averse to crying despite the fact that it is a very normal and natural way to express emotions. When we suppress tears, we are missing out on the opportunity for healthy emotional release as well as the communication of needs. I came across this graphic the other day and found it to be a helpful guide for how to approach a loved one, either adult or child, when they might be needing more than to simply be told to stop.

06/27/2019

Today, June 27, is PTSD awareness day and I just want to take some time to honor all of the people who struggle with this disorder on a daily basis. It can be debilitating but recovery is possible with proper treatment and connection to supportive people.