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true2spirit, Ojai, CA (2025)

11/19/2025

Something I’ve realized about my own path…
 I’ve never been someone who needed a perfect plan before I moved. 
My whole life, I’ve taken steps simply because something in me knew to … long before I could explain why.

What did hold me back wasn’t action… it was expression.

For years, I would feel the truth of something, create something, sense something rising … and then freeze when it came time to share it.

Not because I didn’t trust my path, but because my body was still bracing for judgment, correction, or misunderstanding. 
It was the old instinct to protect myself from being seen too fully.

true2spirit has been the path of unraveling all of that. 
Not by changing who I am, but by helping me understand the deeper intelligence behind the way I’ve always moved.

The more I accept myself, the more I ease up on myself … and the more I ease up on the world around me.

Which is why, instead of perfecting things before I let them leave my hands, I’m choosing to create, share, learn, and refine in real time.

When I discovered Substack, something landed: 
This is the home for the deeper pieces… the ones that move slowly, through the body, layer by layer.

My first long-form piece is now live. 
It’s about the filter between you and the truth, and the way your body reveals where clarity is trying to break through.

If you feel called, you can read it here 🤍 (link in bio)

Thank you for being here with me … in the movement, the learning, the opening, and the becoming.

11/02/2025

Timeless Truth: The Hamster Wheel and the Prayer Wheel

Every day, the wheel turns.
Sometimes we run it.
Sometimes we pray it.

From the outside, they look the same … both full of motion and repetition.
But what moves them couldn’t be more different.

The hamster wheel is powered by compulsion.
It’s the drive to fix, to prove, to keep up.
It moves fast but goes nowhere, fueled by a nervous system that forgot how to trust stillness.

Then there’s the prayer wheel.
It turns too … yet its rhythm is slower, rounder, infused with devotion.
It’s moved not by pressure but by presence.

Over time, this has been something life keeps showing me in layers … how the same motion can be powered by such different forces.
The body always tells the truth first.
Restless legs. Tight breath. The hum of urgency in the chest.
These are often the moments I can feel the mind gripping the wheel again, trying to steer what was meant to flow.

Between the two is something subtle … a quiet axis that allows the motion to turn into meaning.
That axis is nuance.
It’s the space where grace lives, where we start to feel the difference between urgency and aliveness, between effort and offering.

To the untrained eye, these shifts can look the same … especially to those who knew our older rhythms.
But part of this work is learning to hold what’s transforming within us, even when others can’t yet see it.
That’s the confidence born of grace: to keep turning from the inside out.

Stillness isn’t the absence of pace.
It’s the return of presence.

The wheel will always turn.
The question is: what’s turning it in you?

09/14/2025

Timeless Truth:
Compassion has 2 wings.

Mercy refuses to exile the soul. Truth refuses to subsidize distortion. Without mercy, truth becomes demonizing. Without truth, mercy becomes enabling.

This is where the Devil/God paradox lives. We say God is love and light… until that light arrives in human form and burns against what we don’t want to feel. Then suddenly it is “the devil.”

The Devil is not a horned figure but the contract we sign when we mistake distortion for truth. It is the scapegoating we do when we demonize others instead of facing the unintegrated parts within ourselves.

Evil exists only in the realms we feed. When I still believed in it, my dreams were filled with monsters hunting me. Over time, as I reframed… choosing to see all as God and to come into right relationship… those monsters disappeared. Now if a dark figure appears, I know it is not mine. It shows me that someone in my environment is carrying that frequency, and that awareness allows me to clear it out.

This is the deeper truth: life always gives evidence of what we believe. Old dogma and fear-based systems keep people feeding distorted realms. But we have a choice. When we begin to feed differently, reality shifts… and keeps shifting… until those realms dissolve.

Compassion must have both wings: to forgive the soul, and to say no more to the pattern that destroys. Mercy & truth together. Tenderness & fire. Root & wing.

Compassion is not softness. It is wholeness.

07/10/2025

Timeless Truth 𓆩 This Is How We Heal the Pattern (3/4)

The wars we see on the outside?
They started as silence inside someone’s body.

The violence you can’t understand?
It began as words unspoken—truths swallowed—energy repressed.

We’ve taught people to fear honesty.
To hold space instead of hold truth.
To prioritize peace over presence.

And what do we get?
More war.
More collapse.
More confusion.

Because silence doesn’t just disappear.
It gets buried.
It festers.
It explodes later, in a new form.

The silence between you and your son.
Your partner.
Your mother.
Your coworker.

That’s where it starts.

The solution isn’t more rules.
It’s more listening.

To Spirit.
To your body.
To what’s actually true right now.

Let’s stop calling suppression sacred.
Let’s make space for the real.

𓆩 This is how we reclaim the future. One truth at a time.

Because silence doesn’t always look like silence.
Sometimes, it looks like sacred rules.
Sometimes, it hides inside containers labeled “healing.”
Sometimes, it feels like safety—but it’s actually fear in disguise.

Tomorrow, we go there.
Into the silence that wears spiritual clothing.
Into the dogma that dances barefoot.
Because if we don’t track it, we’ll repeat it.
Just with better branding.

07/08/2025

Timeless Truth 𓆩 Silence Isn’t Always Sacred (1/4)

There’s a kind of silence that heals.
And there’s a kind that poisons.

We’ve romanticized silence.
Called it spiritual.
Said it’s higher, cleaner, wiser.

But not all silence is holy.
Some silence hides distortion.
Some silence is distortion.

It’s the friend who says “I loved your offering”—then disappears.
The uncle who smiles to your face, then slanders you in private.
The moment someone gives you false resonance, and your system opens…
only to find it was a lie.

That kind of silence splits you.
It leaves you questioning your clarity.
Gaslit by someone else’s performance.

Silence that hides truth is not neutral.
It’s active participation in distortion.

You want to fix the world?
Start with the quiet places inside you where you’ve gone missing.

That’s where all violence begins.

𓆩 More soon. Part 2 is coming.

06/29/2025

Timeless Truth: “God is not what you were told.”

Most people don’t reject God. They reject control wrapped in God’s name. They reject hypocrisy, manipulation, abandonment disguised as will, and trauma spiritualized into dogma.
But the real thing? The real thing doesn’t punish you. It frees you.

You were told God needs your obedience. But the real God wants your wholeness.
You were told Spirit rewards good behavior. But real Spirit calls you into your truth, not your performance.
You were told the Universe is testing you. But the Universe is mirroring you. It’s not here to pass or fail you. It’s here to reflect you back to yourself until you remember who you are.

God is not watching to see if you mess up. God is breathing through you, waiting for you to remember you’re not separate.
Spirit is not the voice that shames you. It’s the quiet knowing that holds you—even when you fall apart.

This is not a God of transaction. This is a God of transformation.
And that’s why it feels wild sometimes. Why it burns. Why it strips away what isn’t real. Why it lets people leave. Why it doesn’t always answer prayers the way you want.
Not because you’re being punished. But because you’re being reshaped.
Because wholeness is more loving than comfort. Because truth is more sacred than safety.

God is not what you were told. It’s not a man in the sky. It’s the force that lives inside the moment you finally tell the truth. The ache that won’t let you settle. The peace that follows the release. The breath in the middle of the breakdown. The voice that whispers “even this is love.”

06/22/2025

TIMELESS TRUTH: “Love is not always sweet.”

Love isn’t performance. It’s not how soft your voice is or how agreeable your words are. It’s the truth behind your presence. And sometimes? That truth stings.
We’ve been taught that love should be palatable. That a “loving woman” keeps the peace. But real love? Real love breaks the trance.

Love as Truth: “I won’t betray myself to keep this easy.” It may not feel sweet—but it’s the most honest thing in the room.

Love as Stillness: I’m not chasing, not fixing, not shrinking. I’m here. That is the love.

Love as Catalyst: Sometimes love arrives as a rupture. A mirror so sharp it cuts. And that cut? That’s where your soul begins to breathe.

Love as Letting Go: When I walk away, it’s not from lack of love. It’s because I love what’s true more than what’s familiar.

Others may not see the love in your clarity. They may turn you into the villain. But their soul is already bowing. Their higher self knows: You kept the contract.

Love is not always sweet. But it is always honest. Love is not always soft. But it is always safe to the soul. Love may not always say yes. But it will never abandon truth.
The integrated feminine is not just nice. She is sovereign, tender, direct, disruptive, mystical, and miraculously clear.

And beside her, the sacred masculine— Not here to fix her. But to feel her. To hold space while she burns clean. To stay when the storm is truth. To trust the mystery more than the map.
And this?
This is why people blame God. Because they mistake comfort for love. They don’t know how to recognize a force that burns to heal, breaks to reveal, and leaves—to liberate.
God is not the one who makes life easy. God is the one who makes you whole.

06/15/2025

We talk about the rise of the feminine.
But we rarely speak of what made her fall.
We rarely speak of the Father wound—
not just the man you did or didn’t have,
but the true masculine presence we’ve never known.
Most of us grew up without it.
And so did our fathers.
So did theirs.
The men we’ve blamed, feared, longed for,
they were born into the same distortion.
They’ve been trying to hold something they never received.
But this wound goes beyond the earthly.
There is a deeper grief many of us carry—
a soul-level ache for the Cosmic Father…
the one who never abandoned us,
but also couldn’t interfere.
Because this is Earth.
A place of free will, compression, and choosing.
We were sent here to remember…
not to be rescued.
And still—there is pain.
Because somewhere, deep down, we remember
what it felt like to be held in perfect safety.
And we haven’t felt that here.
This ache is not a flaw.
It is sacred data.
And it points to what must now rise.
Not more doing. Not more force.
But the healthy masculine structure
that can finally hold the feminine flood.
Because she is rising.
And she is not soft right now.
She is tidal.
She is moving through our bodies, our systems,
and everything that was too tight to contain her.
And without structure, that movement becomes chaos.
Without the Father, the Mother can’t land.
So what do we do?
We let it move.
We grieve the Father we never had.
We forgive the men who didn’t know how.
We stop waiting to be rescued.
And we begin building the spine.
The spine in our days.
In our choices.
In our work.
In our love.
Because if we stop moving,
if we freeze from fear or fatigue or despair,
we don’t just suffer.
We risk losing the thread of creation itself.
This is not just a poetic metaphor.
This is the physics of spirit.
Life requires movement.
And movement requires holding.
This is what the Father is.
Not control. Not punishment.
Containment for the sacred.
Presence that doesn’t flinch.
Structure that allows the wave to rise.
This is the time we return him.
Not just in men.
But in all of us.

to the ones who are learning to hold.
To the ones rebuilding what we never received.

06/01/2025

Timeless Truth: You Are Not Fragmented Anymore

If you’ve ever reacted stronger than the moment called for—
If you’ve ever cried during a movie and didn’t know why—
If you’ve ever held a truth no one else could see…

You’re not broken.
You’re multidimensional.

Your body is carrying more than one story.

It holds not only what’s happened to you—but what’s come through you.
It holds lineage.
It holds memory.
It holds timelines that didn’t begin here… and don’t end here.

There’s a reason the movie opened something in me I didn’t have words for.
The tears came from somewhere ancient—like a piece of my soul remembered itself.
It was more than emotion.
It was recognition.

That’s what this life is.
Not a single storyline—but a convergence.
A distillation.
A remembering.

This is why we must come into the body.
Because the body knows how to hold multiple truths at once.

The mind will naturally try to resolve, to explain, to give shape and meaning.
That’s its gift.
But the body doesn’t need to understand to know.
Its intelligence is sensation—direct, present, and whole.
When we allow both to serve in their rightful roles—
insight and integration begin to work together.

This is the beauty and intensity of the moment we’re in.
Origin stories are resurfacing.
Old wounds are flaring.
Truths that were once ignored are now in our faces.

Because we are no longer here to bypass.
We are here to meet it differently this time.

And yes—the path to simplicity is often chaos at first.
But the question remains the same:

How will you meet it now?
In this life, in this body, in this breath?

That is where the healing begins.
And ends.
And begins again.

05/30/2025

“Lineage Is Something You Remember”

If you slow down long enough…
and really look at what’s moved you through your life—
the music, the rituals, the lands, the colors, the stories—
you’ll start to see something.

A map.
A pattern.
A remembering.

Not just from this life,
but from the ones beneath it.

Because your soul didn’t begin here.
And your lineage doesn’t end with your skin.

I’ve come through in a blonde, blue-eyed, Norwegian body.
And in this world, that often comes with shame.
But I’ve danced rhythms I never studied.
Felt systems before I named them.
Seen myself on horseback—sometimes as a Viking, sometimes as a chief—
always protecting the land.

Kabbalah didn’t come to me through trend.
It’s been with me for over 25 years.
Like the Tree of Life was growing in me before I had the words for it.

These weren’t interests.
They were instructions.
They didn’t come through bloodlines.
They came through my bones.

So I’ve stopped asking if I’m allowed to feel what I feel.
I’ve stopped waiting for the world to explain my resonance.

Because lineage isn’t performance.
It’s presence.
It’s not duplication.
It’s devotion.

It’s what calls you without logic.
What breaks you open with no name.
What your body remembers even when your mind forgets.

So if you’ve ever felt like you don’t belong…
like your roots don’t match your reflection…
look deeper.

You are not here by mistake.
You are not misplaced.
You are the exact expression your soul chose.

Let yourself remember.
Let yourself belong to something older than blood.

Because lineage isn’t just what you inherit.
It’s what you came to remember.
And remembering… is holy.

📸

05/29/2025

“You Are the Living Lineage”

Living as a lineage carrier now doesn’t mean recreating ancient rituals perfectly.

It means listening.
It means tracking the codes that live in you—even if no one handed you a scroll or gave you a name.

Since I was young, my body has moved in ways no one taught me.
People have asked if I studied African dance—because of the way I hold rhythm and drop into the floor.
I’ve been magnetized by yogic teachings, Buddhist texts, Chinese meridian systems… not as philosophies to master, but as languages my body somehow remembered.

The call toward Indigenous and earth-based traditions came just as naturally.
Dreams, relationships, ceremonies—I was never chasing a label.
I was responding to what stirred something real in me.

These weren’t interests.
They were instructions.

And often, they came without explanation.
Without belonging to a singular place or people.
Without external confirmation.
Only the quiet knowing that something sacred was asking to move through me.

And yes—I walk in a blonde, blue-eyed body.
But energy doesn’t follow the rules of appearance.
It follows the resonance of truth.

Sometimes what you’re here to carry can’t come through an unbroken line.
It has to come through you.

That’s not spiritual entitlement.
That’s soul design.
Your soul chose this body, this time, this path—for a reason.

Some lineages had to break—so they could be remembered in a new way.
Not through duplication.
But through devotion.

Reflection:
What movements, sounds, languages, or symbols have always felt like home… even if you were never taught them?

Those might be your lineages.
Even if they arrived unnamed.

Honor the unseen. Embody the real.
You are the living lineage.

Next: A closing reflection to help you remember what lineage really is—and how it’s always been with you.

05/28/2025

“The Teacher Within”

There was a time I bowed too deeply.
To the ones with titles.
The ones who spoke well.
The ones I thought had access to something I didn’t.

But over time, I started to see something.
Some teachers couldn’t receive.
Some could hold space, but not feedback.
Some invited devotion but deflected intimacy.

And I realized: this isn’t mastery—it’s performance.
Not always intentional, not always conscious—but performance nonetheless.

And I had to face where I’d performed too.
Where I confused spiritual knowing with validation.
Where I shaped myself to be seen instead of trusted what I saw.

When I found Kabbalah, it wasn’t through a lineage-ordained teacher.
It came through resonance. My system lit up.
I didn’t choose it—it chose me.

And in the years since, I’ve realized something even deeper:
True lineage lives in frequency, not form.
It’s not always the teacher with the microphone who holds the clearest code.
Sometimes it’s the person right next to you—quiet, grounded, unseen by most—
who’s become the tradition through lived experience.

I’ve also seen where I’ve been overlooked…
Not because I lacked depth, but because I didn’t fit someone’s projection.
That used to hurt. Now I see it as clarity.

Because my body learned the difference—
between someone who spoke truth and someone who embodied it.

And sometimes the message that didn’t resonate
was the very invitation to trust myself more deeply.
Spirit often used contradiction—through psychics, channels, or teachers—
to see if I would finally choose my own knowing.
And slowly, I did. Still do.

Because the teacher is never the source.
They’re a mirror.
And if they can’t reflect you back,
it’s not a cue to shrink—it’s a cue to see yourself more clearly.

You don’t have to abandon devotion.
But you do have to stay sovereign.

Next post: What it means to live as a lineage carrier now—
not to preserve the old, but to embody the real.

true2spirit

11/19/2025

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