09/11/2025
I came across "Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before?" during a period when I felt I was juggling too many emotions with very little clarity on how to process them. The title itself drew me in, it sounded like the exact question I had been asking myself for years. When I pressed play on the audiobook, hearing Julie Smith narrate her own work made the words hit differently. Her voice was calm, measured, and compassionate, almost like a trusted guide walking me through the mess of my thoughts. It felt less like reading a book and more like being in a one–on–one session with a mentor who truly understood the human mind.
Here are eight lessons that stayed with me:
1. Emotions are not problems to solve, but signals to understand
As I listened, I realized how often I treat uncomfortable feelings like intruders that need to be pushed away. Julie explained that emotions are information, telling us something about our needs or our situation. For me, this changed the way I approach sadness or frustration, instead of fighting them I try to listen. For others, it can be liberating to stop resisting emotions and start learning from them.
2. Small daily habits build resilience more than rare big efforts
Julie’s emphasis on small practices made me pause. She described how tiny consistent steps shape mental health far more effectively than sudden bursts of motivation. For me, this was a gentle reminder that the little choices I make each day matter greatly. For others, it is encouragement that they do not need to overhaul their life at once, but simply commit to steady practices.
3. Thoughts are not facts, they are just mental events
Hearing this felt like a relief. Julie drove home the point that believing every thought is like letting a random stranger decide your life. For me, this lesson helped me challenge self–critical thoughts instead of letting them define me. For others, it can open the door to greater freedom, because detaching from harmful thoughts weakens their power.
4. Motivation often comes after action, not before
I was struck by how Julie explained that waiting for motivation is a trap. Taking even the smallest action can create the momentum that eventually fuels motivation. For me, this reshaped how I think about procrastination. For others, this lesson could help break the cycle of waiting endlessly for inspiration, showing that movement itself is the trigger.
5. Self–compassion is more effective than harsh self–criticism
Julie’s voice carried such warmth here that it was impossible not to feel the weight of her words. She explained that being overly critical does not push us to grow, it only paralyzes us. For me, this softened the way I speak to myself when I fail. For others, it offers the gift of treating themselves with the same kindness they easily give to loved ones.
6. Anxiety lessens when you allow it, not when you fight it
The author illustrated how resisting anxiety only gives it more fuel. Allowing it to exist without judgment gradually takes away its power. For me, this was a breakthrough, because I realized my constant battle with anxiety was feeding it. For others, this lesson can bring peace, teaching that acceptance weakens the hold of fear.
7. Gratitude and perspective reframe even the hardest days
Julie spoke about the practice of noticing small blessings as a way of shifting the mind from lack to abundance. For me, this reminded me that even in chaos, I can find moments of beauty. For others, it shows that gratitude is not about ignoring struggles but about balancing them with recognition of what is still good.
8. Healing is not a straight path, but a journey of ups and downs
The final lesson that stayed with me was her reminder that progress in mental health is never linear. There are setbacks, yet each step still counts. For me, this lesson took away the pressure of expecting constant improvement. For others, it can help reduce the shame of setbacks, making the journey toward healing more humane and sustainable.
By the end of the audiobook, I understood why Julie titled it the way she did. Listening to her felt like being handed the tools I always needed but never knew existed. Her calm narration turned each lesson into something I could not only understand but also feel deeply. This is not just a book to listen to, it is a companion to return to whenever life feels overwhelming.
