Life Balance Counseling CT, LLC

07/09/2025

Sometimes things get messy before getting better. What is worth trying for and what has run its course, possibly allowing for new opportunities?

We put alot of thought and work into growing wildflowers and vegtable gardens, specifically in hopes of supporting honeybee hives, enjoying our own veggies and sharing too.

At times, our plants looked like they weren’t going to make it. The weeds are relentless. They pull nutrients from the soil however, we opted to not use fabric to block them. We agreed that the possibily of chemicals leaching in as the barrier degraded into the soil wasn’t worth it for us. This intentional approach requires extra work. Before the sun gets too hot or mosquitoes and horseflies too pesky, I go out and choose a patch to focus on. I think “This patch, these weeds…” as a little mantra when my mind wanders or I look around to see new patches of unwanted greenery sprouting up.

The sounds of these summer mornings include crickets, bird songs, squirrels in the brush. The faint, spicy smell of various ferns, new vegtables, flowers and earth hang in a curtain of dampness before the sun rises. I can feel the surpringly strong roots of some weeds holding firmly and the smoothness of new vegetables. The humidity rises like a stopwatch. I’m surprised to actually enjoy this part now!

The patch of native wildflowers initially looked like weeds. I didn’t touch the swath of seedlings after they were tossed by the handfulls onto sandy and gravel littered ground. There were moments of doubt and disappointment as reality at several points didn’t match high hopes of feeding pollenators. It seemed unlikely that beautiful blooms could be grown in such an untended, dry tangle. Every morning and several times a day I walked out, hopeful to find a first bud. As the days are unfolding, new flowers pop like delicate lanterns. I learn their names, marvel at the intricacies of their parts, and which ones various pollinators seem to prefer. The goldfinches look like perky beacons as they bob up and down, grasping whispy stems. Butterflies visit too.

Our family shares the work and excitement of this new experience. We’ve met new friends who also enjoy talking about their own trials and errors- as well as successes. Sometimes our approaches differ but the intentions are similar and there are common goals.

Some things need more tending to and some things need less. At times a different approach or suggestions on how to enhance what is can be really helpful. It seems like gardening, similar to life and relationships requires frequent recalibration of hopes and expectations as well as repair work. This can bring us to new and unexpected places of growth after challenge.

Thought prompt: How does your garden grow?

Progression of photos from the past few months:

05/05/2025

We tried digging our way through 24+ inches of composted wood chips to create our garden bed. We would still be digging. Thankfully, our neighbor has a backhoe and dug out the rest. This was a tremendous help.

Overnight, we watered our grass and woke up to a swamp. The water traveled to the lowest point…our garden! I attempted to shovel out a trench for drainage. It took 6 hours and didn’t help much. Our son loved playing in the mud and that brought some joy to a challenging situation.

We had about 60 yards of soil delivered and spent 2- 1/2 days spreading it. We tried using our ATV to flatten the pile, but that just compacted it. I took a break and noticed that yellow, fuzzy honeybees drank from small drops of water in the remainder of the pit. We decided to leave them alone and hoped they would later enjoy the native wildflowers now sprouting in our garden. Maybe they would be the elders of our hives that we hope to establish.
This project was hard but we kept each others spirits up. We eventually just used our determination and strength to dig and rake out the soil.

This is a good example of Polyvagal Theory applied. Combining the ventral vagal (VV) state (safety and connection) and sympathetic state (fight or flight) uses the calm focus of VV state and energy with drive of the sympathetic system to focus and motivate while not getting overwhelmed. It was close!

Having a conscious awareness of one’s own nervous system responses and patterns can help map it out. That awareness can lead to developing tools to promote self-regulation and social engagement. I enjoy working with others on navigating their own unique landscape. If you or someone you care for can benefit, referrals are always welcome!

03/25/2025

Spring is in the air. With the days being lighter for longer, there are opportunities to expand in ways that can be a bit more challenging when it’s cold and dark.

We have a few projects happening. Planning and making a large garden is a new journey for us. We’re allowing ourselves to be beginners. Creating our first big garden highlights some of the nourishing aspects of Nature Therapy.

Connection✔️
Sense of Accomplishment ✔️
Physical Activity ✔️
Social Interaction ✔️
Environmental Benefits✔️

Some benefits of gardening can also include: improved mood, decrease anxiety, lower stress, improved fitness, increased self esteem, increased appreciation and access to healthier sources of food.

We decided to source our garden posts from downed cedars on our land. When we came up short, friends offered to share.

A long term goal is to care for bees. We already have the equipment. There’s a lot to learn. In the meantime, creating a pollinator friendly habitat is important. Planting flowers not modified with neonicicides is essential to not harm or kill pollinators and beneficial insects. Also, we are maintaining areas of tall grasses and goldenrod which the bees love!

I have always loved bats. They provide all natural mosquito control minus nasty chemicals that can make us and the environment sick. This weekend we put up our first batbox-right next to their wetlands buffet.

Are you or someone you love interested in the potential benefits of therapy in nature? Nature Therapy sessions are available. Please visit my website for details.

Www.lifebalacecounselingctllc.com

03/18/2025

Like most days, I have been reflecting on the importance of healthy connections with my Self, others, and nature. On the weekends, our family makes time to walk together. This time, we stayed local. The warm overnight temperatures seemed to awaken the spring peepers and tree frogs all at once. Slightly off the trail, I caught a glimpse of familiar grayish-green lichen and rock that possibly indicates the presence of Native American stonework. My heartbeat quickened as a sense of awe washed over seeing a great serpentine head overlooking the water. Some of these are hundreds, if not thousands, of years old. They have been acknowledged and preserved by local tribes, historians, and private donors.

These sites are sacred spaces that inspire a sense of wonder and curiosity. My gratitude for being here and glimpsing these ancient works is mixed with an awareness of a painful history. My heart aches with compassion for the unjust displacement and near destruction of Indigenous People and their culture. Acknowledging this devastation and allowing myself to feel these emotions, rather than pushing them away, helps me stay connected to the issues at hand.

Development and fallen trees are a few of the dangers that often take a toll on these sacred works. Feeling clear-headed and motivated, I recently learned how to use a chainsaw to eventually volunteer and remove debris. At this time, I sometimes clear away fallen dead trees by hand as long as their removal won't cause additional harm to the stonework. Some trees are too large to tackle alone, so I’ve been considering ways to enlist the help of others.

There is a greater purpose and impact of even our smallest efforts. This prevents me from believing that my actions are insignificant. Each person's contributions, no matter how small, accumulate to create a larger effect.

12/22/2024

The winter solstice marks the return of light after the longest night here in the northern hemisphere. It can be a great reminder to acknowledge that polarities are a part of life. Unlike the solstice, sometimes life doesn't deliver challenges in such a balanced way. Seeking light in times of darkness can help provide opportunities for presence and growth.

A strengths based perspective can help you focus on your positive qualities. Doing so can help in times of despair or hopelessness. Sometimes journaling the answers to the following can be helpful. Notice how you feel emotionally, mentally and physically after focusing on your strengths.

-What positive qualities best describe you? For example, you might explore how you are a good friend, caring, humorous, fair, or enjoy learning.

-Try to reflect on your growth. What are the positive changes that you have made in your life due to your commitment to healing? Maybe, you have realized your capacity to be courageous, committed, or mentally tough.

-What hopes or dreams do you have for your future? Are there any new qualities would you like to expand and grow within yourself? What goals would you like to set for yourself? What do you need for support so that you can be successful?

-What steps (no matter how seemingly small) can you take to make a difference in the outcome of your life now? What helps you to feel empowered to shape your future in a positive direction?

If you would like to explore this more, I'd like the opportunity to work with you. Telehealth sessions are available to CT Residents who are 21+. Walk and talk sessions are available in Southeastern, CT as well. (860)717-2007

*photo from our chilly yet serene solstice walk. It uploaded upside-down accidently but I left it that way because it looked interesting.

11/14/2024

I took my daily walk with family the other evening. It was unseasonably warm which provided us with an opportunity to play in the sand, hunt for beach treasures and take in the warm salt air. While familiar, this full sensory experience is also novel. The changing landscape and deep blue Atlantic Ocean provides the opportunity for rich metaphor.

It’s essential to your mental health to recognize that all emotions are meant to come and go and like waves in the ocean. They will rise, crest, and subside. Try being aware of and curious about your own experience with these waves. Is it possible that you might want to suppress emotions before the waves even come? Is this related to fear that you will be overtaken by the feelings and emotions or something else? It’s important to know that even the biggest waves of emotion will not destroy you if you learn strategies to observe and/or ride them. Old ways of staying safe and protected worked in the sense that you survived. Staying afloat, encapsulated might not be necessary anymore.

Are you willing to explore your depths to develop healthier ways of authentically relating to yourself and others? I’d like the opportunity to work with you in your journey! *edited for grammar

J. Elise Forbes, LCSW
(860)717-2007

11/08/2024

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/here-there-and-everywhere/201709/feeling-guilty-about-feeling-bad

You may have heard, "Things could have been worse," or "That's what you get," after experiencing a trauma. Your feelings are always valid, no matter what others say.

11/04/2024

Stress levels have been building and are high right now for many. We are quickly reaching Election Day. Getting caught up in the negative spin can happen easily and sometimes without noticing. We can feel anxious, aggressive, or possibly want to withdraw from the world to stay safe physically and emotionally. It's important to be aware of these feelings, thoughts and sensations. Knowing how to stop the barrage of negativity is helpful and sometimes essential. Remaining informed and realistic is important however, I also need to balance my exposure to the news so that I can be mentally present in our home and community. I also want to sleep at night.

This week, my moments of peace came in the form of watching the sunrise and a few long walks with pauses. The weather came in cool and windy over the weekend in New England. I breathed in the crisp, soothing air and paused to listen to migrations of geese, robins and other birds as they made their journeys. I noticed the yellow and red bittersweet berries flourishing. Dried leaves rustled on treetops as they caught the last golden-bronze light of the sunset. When the final rays disappeared I looked up to see millions of glimmering stars and constellations familiar since childhood. Orion, the Big Dipper and Cassiopeia.

My ability to notice these glimmering moments doesn’t mean that I am in denial of the challenges, danger, and pain of our world. These moments help me to turn toward pain without surrendering to despair.

Opposites exist together.

Someone who I deeply admire shared these wise words of Pema Chödrön that can help guide us as we navigate these times…

Living Beautifully
By Pema Chödrön

The other morning I woke up worrying about a dear friend's well-being. I felt it as an ache in my heart.
When I got up and looked out my window, I saw such beauty that it stopped my mind. I just stood there with the heartbreak of my friend's condition and saw trees heavy with fresh snow, a sky that was purple-blue, and a soft mist that covered the valley, turning the world into a vision of the Pure Land. Just then, a flock of yellow birds landed on the fence and looked at me, increasing my wonder further still.
I realized then what it means to hold pain in my heart and simultaneously be deeply touched by the power and magic of the world. Life doesn't have to be one way or the other. We don't have to jump back and forth. We can live beautifully with whatever comes—heartache and joy, success and failure, instability and change.

10/26/2024

https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/think-act-be/202402/8-ways-that-walking-can-transform-the-therapy-experience-0?amp

Discover all the advantages of therapy sessions that engage body, mind, and heart.

10/25/2024

For those of you who know me personally and professionally, it won’t come as a shock that I’m transitioning to Ecotherapy and Nature Therapy as a primary therapeutic approach while still incorporating classic modalities. This is not covered by insurance. A session costs $150.00 an hour. I have availability for two new clients for walk and talk sessions occurring in Southeastern CT. Time slots are limited due to logistical considerations. In-person and telehealth available. Your referrals and interest are welcome!

*photo added to highlight the absolute awe felt observing the Aurora Borealis from our front steps.

10/21/2024

There are many things that can negatively impact our ability to feel awe. Some examples include: adverse experiences, depression, stress and illness. It is possible to cultivate your wellbeing so that you can savor these opportunities found in everyday life. Some people benefit from exploring how to work through challenges with the support of a mental health professional and/ or holistic wellness team. I sincerely appreciate being included on the journey and working with clients around this.

When we feel wonder at something truly incredible, we perceive ourselves as smaller and less significant in relation to the rest of the world.

08/04/2024

"One key to overcoming generational trauma is recognizing that the initial trauma remains unhealed. When one can become aware of the trauma they carry, identify its source, and get help in addressing it, then its intergenerational transfer can be halted."
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/intergenerational-trauma