12/31/2023
Hard to believe: it's been 10 years since the original squirrel story. I hope we all have learned some important lessons since then -- I know I have!
So this was my New Year's Eve from HELL. You just can't make up this stuff.
6 friends were invited for dinner. I ordered a prime rib from Fairway, and put the box (see photo) on the deck to keep it all chilled. At 5:30 I brought it in, and I when I picked it up, it felt like something shifted inside, like something MOVED. Before I could think, I set it down on the living room floor, and as I did I felt something FURRY touch my hand, inside the lift hole. As I put it on the floor a BLACK SQUIRREL jumped out through that tiny hole, and started running around through the condo! The cats, Darren and Jezebel, started chasing it. It crawled up/down the curtains, jumped off, ran under the sofa, crossed to the den, ran under the media center, and back out again. It was scared and completely crazed. I grabbed the cats and locked them in the bedroom, fearing they might be bitten. After about 5 minutes, there was no more scurrying sound, and it seemed like it might have run back out the open deck door without me seeing it. I listened and looked and poked around, but no squirrel. I resumed prepping dinner, but soon heard scratch-scratch-scratch, and located the squirrel INSIDE the den sleeper loveseat. It seemed to be inside, but when I opened the bed, nothing ran out. The scratching continued from inside the back of the loveseat, then slowed and stopped. It really seemed like it might have suffocated or impaled itself on a spring. I lifted and banged the loveseat, but got no reaction. I resigned myself to pulling the loveseat outside to remove the dead squirrel tomorrow. I finished prepping and my guests enjoyed dinner; what else was I gonna do? At 11:00 pm we sat down in the living room to enjoy drinks and await the ball drop -- when suddenly, my friend Paul yelled, "There's the squirrel, behind the couch!" What ensued were 5 minutes of complete mayhem -- the ladies pulling back and keeping their distance, while Paul and I used a bathtowel, mop handle, and doormat to try to corral the squirrel and push it toward the open deck door. Finally, the little guy ran out the door, and we slammed it shut. Somehow through the entire trauma I managed to avoid screaming like a little girl.
Moral of the story: Never store food outside without completely sealing all openings completely shut!!!!
And with that, Happy 2014 to all!