Fridman Reels

11/24/2024

Thanksgiving is around the corner and although it is a time of gathering, families and celebration, it can feel lonely and depressing, especially if you are newly divorced or separated.

It may bring up memories of family celebrations or you may miss holiday traditions.

If you have children, the children may be by your ex this year.

What can you do?
1.Remember that it makes sense that you would feel this way. You are grieving a relationship and a life which you used to have.
Sharing these feelings with a good friend can help.

2. If you decide to spend this holiday alone, focus on doing something fun: ski, go to the gym, go to a show, take a trip …

3.Surround yourself with people you love - Reach out to friends and family you want to spend time with or to people who are in the same situation.

4.Create new traditions - The transitions you used to have are gone but it doesn’t mean you can’t create new traditions.

5. Contact your kids- You can set up a zoom call with your children on Thanksgiving or you can celebrate with them a day before or a day after Thanksgiving.

Wishing you a Happy Thanksgiving!

11/10/2024

Your partner shares something with you, you respond by giving them advice or by telling them what they did wrong. Your partner gets frustrated and shuts down. You don’t understand what you did wrong.
You just wanted to help! Familiar?

Your partner is not looking for you to fix them, criticize them or tell them what to do. They are looking for you to listen to them, show empathy and validate their feelings. That’s all they need.

But how would I know what they need from me?
Ask your partner to tell you at the beginning of the conversation what they want from you “I want you just to just listen” “I want you to give me advice”.

Remember: Listen. Show empathy. Validate. Connect

Call now to connect with business.

09/07/2024

Are you feeling stuck in your relationship? Are you arguing nonstop? Are you feeling lonely? Did you experience infidelity? Are you looking to bring back the passion to your relationship?
This workshop is for you!
Sep 20th-Sep 22nd
Space is limited! Register now!

September 20th-22nd A transformative journey in a safe environment that guides couples to create satisfying and long-lasting relationships using practical tools and strategies. You’ll explore how to: Break destructive patterns of communicating Renew the passion and pleasure in your relationsh

09/07/2024

THANK YOU FOR ALL OF THE BEAUTIFUL WISHES!

08/18/2024

https://www.efratfridman.com/classes/p/getting-the-love-you-want-imago-couples-workshop

September 20th-22nd A transformative journey in a safe environment that guides couples to create satisfying and long-lasting relationships using practical tools and strategies. You’ll explore how to: Break destructive patterns of communicating Renew the passion and pleasure in your relationsh

05/30/2024

https://www.efratfridman.com/classes/p/getting-the-love-you-want-imago-couples-workshop

05/26/2024

I am inviting you and your partner to “The Getting the Love You Want” couples’ workshop.

GETTING THE LOVE YOU WANT is a weekend workshop that provides an in-depth Imago experience for couples in all stages of relationship.

You and your partner will gain greater insight into your relationship dynamics and learn how to reframe conflict as an opportunity for growth. The workshop invites you to experience the profound connection that heals childhood and relational wounds, activates undeveloped potential, and spurs spiritual growth.
In this workshop, I will guide you and your partner toward deeper connection and wholeness. My approach will allow you to experience new levels of safety and appreciation. Restoring passion and hope to your relationship, Imago brings you healing and wholeness. This workshop is designed for couples and of all gender and sexual orientations.

APPROPIATE FOR YOU IF:
• You are beginning a relationship and would like to create a strong foundation while avoiding past frustrations.
• You want to turn a good relationship into a great relationship!
• You are in a difficult relationship and want to resolve longstanding conflicts.
• You are near break-up and want to decide if the relationship can be saved.

YOU WILL LEARN HOW TO:
• Develop effective new communication skills using the “Imago Dialogue.”
• Resolve longstanding frustrations with compassion and ease.
• Establish and maintain safety in your relationship.
• Recreate the passion, attraction, and intimacy that first brought you together.
• Discover a path to emotional healing and spiritual evolution through your relationship.
• Experience a deep level of empathy and connection with your partner.

To register

June 7th-June 9th A transformative journey in a safe environment that guides couples to create satisfying and long-lasting relationships using practical tools and strategies. You’ll explore how to: Break destructive patterns of communicating Renew the passion and pleasure in your relationship

05/05/2024

https://www.efratfridman.com/workshop

Workshops When? Friday June7th 7:00PM-9:30PM ♡ Saturday June 8th 8:30AM-7:00PM ♡ Sunday June9th 8:30AM-7:00PM ♡ Where ? 2 Pinetree Lane Old Westbury NY 11568 ♡ When? Friday June7th 7:00PM-9:30PM ♡ Saturday June 8th 8:30AM-7:00PM ♡ Sunday June9th 8:30AM-7:00PM ♡ Where ? 2 Pinetree Lane ...

04/20/2024

How and Why Do We Avoid Our Partner- Relationship Exits

Ask yourself the following questions:

Are you staying late at work? Are you volunteering for every school event? Are you always at the gym?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, you may unconsciously created a relationship exit.

What is a relationship exit?
As per Dr. Harvill Hendrix a relationship exit is what we do to avoid dealing with our partner. Any behavior or activity that allows us to reduce or avoid involvement in our relationship.

Exits drain necessary energy from the relationship because you use it, at least in part, to avoid being with or talking to your partner, and facing the difficulties that cause you to want to avoid spending time with him or her.

Whenever anything becomes a substitute for intimacy with your partner, it can drain your relationship of the energy it needs to flourish.

Why does this happen?

To avoid getting hurt.
Although we all want connection in relationship, we are terrified to allow ourselves to have it. We were hurt in childhood by people who loved us – namely our parents. Our unconscious has not forgotten this. When romantic love fades and arguments begin to emerge, we again feel hurt by the person who is supposed to love us the most, so we find ways to create distance from the pain by going outside of the relationship and

In addition, we feel disappointment because we reach the realization that our partner does not meet our needs, so we find different ways to fulfill our needs. For example: If you do not feel appreciated by your partner, you will find an activity which will make you feel appreciated.

We experience our partner as a source of pain and our exit as a source of pleasure.

This creates exits or energy leaks.

There are soft exits - socially accepted exits as Your knitting class, volunteering nonstop for school events, hobbies, video games, the kids, work…
and catastrophic exits which are more damaging to the relationship as affairs and addictions.

Does this mean that I should do everything with my partner?
No!
It is healthy to have your own interests, but if the reason that you are involved in them is to avoid dealing with your partner, this is an exit.
You love going to the movies with your friend. Great. But if you are going to avoid your relationship, this is an exit.

Ask yourself:
What am I doing to avoid my partner?
How does this activity affect my relationship?

04/06/2024

How to heal from infidelity

You went out of the relationship. Your partner discovered this but you both decided to give the relationship another chance.

How can the relationship be repaired?

One thing that is crucial for healing from a betrayal is allowing your partner to express their emotions. Again, and again and again. I know that you do not want to hear it. I know that you wish it would be behind you and that every time your partner brings it up it activates emotions such as shame, guilt, and embarrassment and it is a constant reminder of the pain that you caused.

You may also think that your partner is bringing up infidelity to punish you and to cause you similar pain to the pain you caused them. Or you may be worried that when your partner is bringing their pain up, causes you as a couple to go backwards when you are trying to move forward.

But as difficult as it is, allowing your partner to share their feelings with you will help heal the relationship.

Why?

Infidelity causes trauma to the person that was cheated on. The trust was broken. As with trauma, going back and revisiting what happened, for example: bringing up the day they discovered everything or expressing their pain. is their way of processing what happened to them.

In addition, because of the betrayal the space between you does not feel emotionally safe. By listening to your partner, validating their feelings, and acknowledging their pain, safety can be restored, and you and your partner will be able to move forward.

If you do not allow your partner to talk, if you change the subject or shut down, the painful emotions will be brewing inside without a place to release, the space between you will feel dangerous and pain, resentment and anger will build up.

How to respond?

When your partner brings up their pain just listen and allow them to share their feelings with you. After they finish sharing you can respond by saying:” Tell me more about what you are feeling” or ask questions which show interest. Then validate their feelings by saying, for example: “I can understand how painful this can feel to you”.

A word to the partner who experienced the infidelity

I know that emotions can feel intense. The pain and the anger are brewing within you. You may want to hit your partner’s car with a baseball bat, bad mouth them on social media or curse them out. I understand that. But that will not help you heal. It will not give you the release that you are looking for. It will maybe feel great for a second, but after a minute, the hurt will come back.

The way to heal the relationship is by telling your partner what you feel, how does it affect your day to day and what you need from them. “I feel hurt, I feel as if my world fell apart “.

If your partner acknowledges and validates, the space between you will feel safe and you as a couple will heal.

Relationship Therapist
IMAGO Therapist
"Getting the Love You Want " workshop presenter

03/31/2024

Infidelity PTSD is Real

Your worst nightmare has been confirmed. You discovered that your partner was cheating on you. You feel betrayed. Hurt. You are not eating or sleeping. You are experiencing nightmares, flashbacks, and you have intrusive thoughts.
Although a few months passed, you find yourself reliving the day you discovered the infidelity. Going back in your mind and playing it repeatedly. There are days which you are feeling great and suddenly you tear up or you feel a wave of rage taking over you. You want to let go but you can’t. You are hijacked by your emotions.
In addition, you may be experiencing physical symptoms: headaches, backpains and more.
Are you losing your mind? What is going on?
You are suffering from PISD- Post Infidelity Stress Disorder. 60% of people who experienced infidelity report experiencing symptoms like the ones experienced in PTSD- Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. These symptoms can last from a week to a few months.
Although PISD is not an official diagnosis, it doesn’t make it less real or less difficult.
Why does this happen?
Infidelity can be traumatic. The trust was broken. The feeling of safety was shattered. It can trigger past traumas. If you experienced trauma in the past, you are more likely to experience PISD. The severity of the symptoms depends on the way you internalized the infidelity.
What can you do?
It is important to understand PISD and its symptoms. Knowing that what you are experiencing is a response to trauma can help normalize your experience and give you hope.
As with PTSD, one of the most effective ways to cope with infidelity is to surround yourself with support: family and friends.
Another way is to engage in activities which give you pleasure such as: Go to the GYM, join a Yoga class, join a walking group, or pick up a new hobby.
Give yourself time to heal.
Remember that you went through a painful experience which left you hurting, lonely and insecure.

03/23/2024

Discover profound transformation through Imago Therapy with Dr. Efrat Fridman, LCSW, DSW, in Nassau County, NY. Specializing in relationship therapy, unlock the path to healing, empathy, and empowered connections for individuals, couples, and families.

03/23/2024

You are not fighting. From outside you look like the perfect couple. But between you and your partner everything is dead. There is distance. You are not connecting. You share the same household but you both feel lonely. There is no emotional intimacy and of course no physical intimacy.

Why does this happen?

Couples will often say they disconnect because they have no time: work, kids, family, and other stressors but the reality is that couples do not connect because the space between them feels dangerous. It is filled with negative emotions, feelings of disappointment, rejection, and abandonment.
You are so disappointed that to protect yourself, you build a parallel relationship. You are together, but you are like two lines who never meet.
And you start thinking that maybe you are not meant to be together.

What can you do?

Begin with rituals of connection.
A weekly date:
Schedule a weekly date, only the two of you. The date should involve an activity, like going bowling or a paint bar, something you do together. It helps build shared experiences and connections.

Discover profound transformation through Imago Therapy with Dr. Efrat Fridman, LCSW, DSW, in Nassau County, NY. Specializing in relationship therapy, unlock the path to healing, empathy, and empowered connections for individuals, couples, and families.