05/12/2026
FLORIDA WOMAN DETAINED AFTER ATTEMPTING TO LEAD A FUNERAL PROCESSION FOR A SQUIRREL DOWN INTERSTATE 4
LAKELAND, FL — Florida Highway Patrol detained Hailey Marie Pritchard, 31, of Winter Haven, Wednesday morning after she allegedly attempted to lead a full funeral procession for a deceased squirrel down Interstate 4, complete with a white satin-lined casket, 7 paid mourners in black veils, and a hand-painted hearse magnet stuck to the side of her 2015 Kia Soul.
Per the report, Pritchard entered I-4 at the Memorial Boulevard on-ramp at 9:22 a.m. driving 21 mph in the center lane with her hazards on, a wreath strapped to her hood, and a Bluetooth speaker playing "Amazing Grace" on loop at full volume.
Per witnesses and the arrest report:
- The squirrel, named "Lord Almond Whiskerton," had been found deceased in her backyard 3 days earlier
- Pritchard hosted a viewing in her garage Tuesday night for 16 guests
- 11 attendees signed a guestbook; 4 sent flowers
- She rented a white satin-lined casket from a costume website for $88
- She paid 7 friends $40 each to wear black veils and ride in the cortege
- She mailed printed obituary cards to her HOA
- The procession crawled 4.1 miles down I-4 with hazards on, backing up 3 lanes for 36 minutes
- 13 drivers honked respectfully assuming it was a real funeral
- 1 trucker pulled over and removed his hat
- A Disney shuttle bus joined the procession by accident for 2 exits
- FHP arrived after a 911 caller reported "the slowest grief in Polk County history"
- Pritchard told the trooper "he was family" and asked if he wanted to sign the book
Trooper Marcus Whitfield said: "I've worked I-4 for 11 years. I've seen alligators, mattresses, and one alpaca. This was the most respectful traffic violation I have ever issued."
FHP Sergeant Linda Ortega said, "Funeral processions require a permit, an es**rt, and a human being. This procession had none of those."
Pritchard was charged with obstruction of traffic, reckless driving, and operating an unpermitted procession. Released on $500 bond.
Lord Almond Whiskerton declined to comment.
Some women grieve quietly.
Hailey Marie Pritchard grieved at 21 mph.
Images and full story copyrighted TBC Viral Media 2026.