06/08/2018
In light of another high profile su***de, I feel drawn to share a few thoughts on depression.
Dr. Gabor Maté - author of “When The Body Says No”, “In The Realm of the Hungry Ghosts” and various other books on the topics of addiction and emotional pain - talks about depression from a mechanical and linguistic perspective: the process of something being pushed down, being pressed down, being depressed. From an energy perspective, what happens when we push down, or depress, a difficult emotional experience?
Sometimes we have to, to survive a traumatic moment. Depression - the process of pushing down - is an adaptation in that moment, a survival strategy. Push that thing down, do what’s needed to get through this moment, and then deal with that thing that was pushed down later on. Trouble is, typically, we don’t. Or the trauma repeats itself over and over so often that we simply don’t have the available energy or will left to keep going back around and dealing with the thing that was pushed down over and over. This is a common pattern in abusive childhood environments and abusive relationships.
And sometimes we don’t have to push it down to survive a moment. But we do anyway. Because that’s easier. In that moment.
From a psychological perspective, we convince ourselves that putting that difficult emotion, or set of emotions, in a box and locking it down in - or “depressing" it down into - the basement of our mind, we have successfully quarantined it from infecting the rest of us.
But here’s the thing: the energy of that depressed emotion is going to go somewhere. The energy of that emotion can’t be contained by whatever clever little room our minds have created to imprison it. What we’ve locked in that room is akin to a black mold spore or a malignant cancer cell. It grows. And grows. And grows. Until it exceeds the capacity of that compartment in our minds.
How long that process takes varies person by person. Might be 6 months. Might be 60 years. But the energy of that depressed, trapped emotion is going to find it’s way out. It’s going to find a way to express itself, to be heard, to get our attention. We think we’ve made it silent through psychological compartmentalization, but it is going to have its voice, one way or another.
It will do this through some commonly recognizable symptoms. Mood changes (anxiety, hopelessness, apathy, discontent, loss of interest), poor sleep (insomnia, bad dreams), physical issues (fatigue, loss of appetite, restlessness, weight gain, weight loss), behavioral changes (agitation, irritability, social isolation) or cognitive dysfunction (poor memory, inability to focus, slowness). When these expressions of the depressed, trapped emotion manifest to a point that they’re severely impacting quality of life, we label that as “Clinical Depression”. Typically, the primary way of treating that condition is to suppress those expressions, those manifestations, typically with a drug of some form. In a way, that is little more than trying to drag that screaming trapped emotion back down the stairs, into the basement, and throwing it back into the box we’ve been caging it in for years. We silence its voice, we suppress it, we depress it. Again. Well … now what? Now that trapped emotion is really pi**ed. The energy of it grows even more, growing faster and more fiercely than before.
Eventually, the box breaks and all levels of our being (mental, emotional, physical) are forced to deal with it. It might have erupted at that point as a psychological crisis of some form, or may present itself as a sudden physical disease or pain, or perhaps as us acting out that energy through burning other aspects of our lives (relationships, career, finances, you name it) to the ground. When that trapped emotion finally rages out of its shackles and screams its long-held scream, the scene that unfolds is often quite epic. And quite destructive.
Given the right set of circumstances - stress, emotional triggers, sudden alteration of consciousness with a substance - and at it’s most extreme, the idea one day presents itself that the only way to escape the monster that is now rampaging through our being is to pull the plug on everything, to end the monster by ending the life of the being that the monster is living inside. Decades after the trauma, we (falsely) conclude that pulling the plug and committing su***de is the only way to escape this pain.
But all the monster - what started as an emotional pain, but became a monster through being caged in the basement - ever wanted was acknowledgement and compassion, to be given its voice. At the end of the day, it’s a relatively simple thing that we manage to make incredibly complex. Because we fear re-experiencing that original emotion that we trapped in the basement.
All it takes is a little courage, a flashlight, and maybe someone’s hand to hold as we return to the basement, open the box and have an open, authentic and loving conversation with the monster that’s been locked in there for so long. A monster that is simply an aspect of ourselves. When that authentic dialogue is given a chance to occur, the energy of that original traumatic emotion finds a new way to express itself. And it can be a potent, powerful energy that can now be directed in healthy, positive directions, setting our entire, more integrated, being on a whole new path.
And here’s a final energetic perspective on depression and su***de. We cannot end our own souls, our energy body, our etheric field (whatever label works best for each person). They’re energy! They can’t be killed, only transmuted into something new. The physical body - the amazingly complex meat sack that carries our soul around for a small number of decades - dies, sure. But guess what … we come back. There’s no way out, no escaping that depressed emotion at the end of the day. If it’s not given a chance to express itself in this lifetime, it’ll find a way in the next lifetime, and the one after that, and the one after that.
So, do you want to deal with it now, or twenty lifetimes from now? It’s up to you.
If you're ready to muster up a little courage and bring some charged batteries, we can help you with a flashlight and a hand to hold as we go into that basement together and embark on an amazing, transformative dialogue with the parts of yourself that you’ve locked away all these years.
I don’t personally like the phrase Rest In Peace when someone has taken their own life in an effort to end their emotional pain. I prefer Return In Peace. Because return they will. I wish Anthony Bourdain, whoever caused him such pain, and whoever he inevitably hurt during his years of expressing his trapped pains, love, compassion, and a peaceful return. May he find resolution and healing in his next incarnation, and may he return bringing similarly tasty and gratifying gifts as he offered the world in the one he just ended. His gifts will surely be missed by the rest of us.
If you’re struggling with depression, know that you’re not alone. Friends can help. Family can help. We can help. The National Su***de Prevention Lifeline (1-800-273-8255) can help. You have help. You’re not alone. Reach out and help will be there. We would love to help you, help set you on a whole new path.
- Dan
www.IntuitiveBeing.org
(360) 972-3031
Anthony Bourdain, the gifted chef, storyteller and writer who took TV viewers around the world to explore culture, cuisine and the human condition for nearly two decades, has died. He was 61.
