01/26/2024
Tonight I can't sleep. This really hasn't happened to me in years.
Once upon a time, I woke up every morning in the very early hours unable to go back to sleep. I realized that I was plagued by worry and fear. I was deeply unhappy about the state of my life.
I couldn't see the forest for the trees as people used to say, nor did I know what that meant. Well, I couldn't recognize the beauty of the forest or ppreciate each tree the forest contained in it's beauty because I was only focused on each tree being a big distractor in my view.
In my life, I couldn't see the beauty of my life because I was focused on the big obstacles (my interpretation of things) in my life, which I allowed to distract me from my beautiful life.
It took a lot time and internal work to make the changes in myself that allowed me to distance myself from that version of me.
We are always creating a new version of ourselves. In the same way our body regenerats itself every 7 years or so, we are regenerati g our thoughts and experiences of ourselves and thus our life.
We get the choice to regenerate the same version of ourselves or create a better version. We can create a more refined version of ourselves. A happier, healthy, more appreciative, fun loving, giving, loving, prosperous, or caring version of ourselves. What ever we want to create in our lives we have the power to do it.
We create our lives by the conversations we have with ourselves and others. The silent conversations, words, and thoughts of our minds are the catalysts of change in our lives.
I haven't been able to consistently change the conversation in my head about something I have been working on for nearly 10 years. At least. not enough to get the momentum that I desire and need to keep it up.
I think that's why I can't sleep tonight. I'm thinking that it might be time to move on from that dream. I'm not a quitter. I do not give up on myself.
Because I am seriously considering moving on, I am feeling sad at the death of my dream and like I'm quitting and giving up on myself. The entire situation is weighing heavily on my heart. I feel like I am suffocating from the responsibilities of life and the pressure of my dream (self-imposed). Once upon a time, I got up early and stayed up late to work on my dreams. I am currently living those dreams, and yet I seen uninspired to do that now or consistently for my current dream. That's one of the reasons why I think it might be time to move on.
I've been up for 3 hours, but in writing my thoughts and feelings down, I feel some relief.
Thank you for listening.
I think we all go through periods like this at times. However, if you're having these experiences, and they are new to you or they are persasive in your life, please know that you are not alone.
Write down the thoughts that are consuming you and robbing you of your rest. Put them on the paper so they can live there and release them from your head. Then later in the day rewrite them in a positive way or write something positive about your concerns. Now practice your new thoughts by changing your conversation with yourself.
When you practice your new thoughts consistently they will become your dominant thoughts. Make them a part of your vocabulary, and when an old troubling thought or concerns creeps in or wakes you up, reset your mind with your new thoughts.
Despite the fact that I am/was struggling today, I know this works because I used this process to change my entire life and beliefs about myself for the better, and I have helped dozens of others to do it, too.
I feel refocused and more peaceful after "getting" it out. if you read to the end, I thank you. In this rapid media driven sound bite environment, I really appreciate your time. May your day be blessed.. 💕
