Ilse Aerts, LMFT, LPCC

10/06/2025

looking forward to having you showcase at IE-CAMFT

10/01/2025

great suggestions from and Happy

We’ve put emphasis on the present moment for our month of gratitude journaling ideas for October. This month-long calendar, which you can get as a printable, encourages you to be in there and now. Hopefully, at the end of the month, you’ll look at your surroundings, local nature, and the simple day-to-day joys in a different way.

09/20/2025

thanks Teepa Snow for your tips.

09/18/2025

So much to learn.
Also meet new and existing friends is always a plus.
Looking forward to go again next year.

09/07/2025

great tips by@belightcarecounseling - thanks

09/01/2025

great reminders from Sharon Martin, LCSW

07/27/2025

some good info from Autism Goggles

10 Neurodivergent Things That Just Might be TMI

Here are 10 things that might seem unusual from the outside, but make perfect sense when you understand how an Autistic brain may work--mine in particular:

1. Eating the same meal every single day
When I find a food that is predictable in texture, taste, and prep time, I will stick with it like it’s a legally binding agreement. Variety is not exciting to me. Variety is chaos. I do not want a new lunch. I want a cup of the same brand of cold plain yogurt I had yesterday, with a ¼ cup of sliced almonds, 1 cup of blueberries, and eaten in peace. This is not a food rut. This is food joy.

2. Rewatching a series for the third time while pretending I’m open to new recommendations
I already know what happens. I already know how it ends. No unexpected plot twists. No new sensory surprises. No emotional betrayal halfway through Season 2. Just the comfort of familiarity and the ability to quote it word-for-word while folding laundry or spiraling internally. This is not laziness—it is survival.

3. Making detailed to-do lists, then doing none of the things
I love writing a list. Colour-coded, carefully categorized, sometimes even decorated with highlighters. Does this mean I’ll actually do the tasks on it? Not necessarily. For a few glorious minutes, though, my life feels organized. Blissfully under control and doable.

4. Setting five alarms and ignoring all of them like they’re optional notifications
I need time to *emotionally* prepare to be awake. The first alarm is a warning. The second is a request. The third is a negotiation. By the fifth alarm, I might be ready to consider sitting upright. Maybe. If the lights are low and nobody talks to me.

5. Staring at my ringing phone like it just insulted my ancestors
No, I will not answer a call without warning. That’s not communication, it’s an ambush. If you want to talk to me, send a message first like a decent human being. Preferably, a message with empathy and a clear topic of conversation. The—let’s chat!

6. Writing entire essays in my head but forgetting how to speak when someone asks a basic question
I can write a ten-paragraph analysis of my emotional state, but if someone asks me, “How are you doing?” out loud, I might forget all known language and make a noise that sounds like a small animal in distress. Speech is a skill. Writing is my superpower. Choose wisely.

7. Feeling deeply unsettled when plans change, even if the new plan is objectively better
I don’t care if the new plan includes free cheese, free time, or a Cat Stevens private concert. If I mentally rehearsed the original plan, I need a full internal reset before I can accept this unexpected upgrade. The new plan is not *better* — it is *different*, and approached with much caution.

8. Needing the exact right temperature or I literally cannot function
If I’m even slightly too cold, I can’t focus on anything except how much I want to climb inside a heated blanket and disappear. If I’m too hot, I get woozy, and my skin feels prickly as if ants are crawling on me. It is unbearable. I can’t think. I can’t *be*. At night, I have a perfectly engineered sleep system — layers of blankets for pressure and calm, plus air conditioning and a ceiling fan to stop me from melting (down). I agree: I am a climate-sensitive organism with specific environmental requirements.

9. Pacing the room while processing thoughts like I’m rehearsing a TED Talk
Sitting still while trying to think is like trying to swim while holding your breath. Movement helps me access language. Walking helps me access ideas. Pacing with purpose? That’s my creative process. The tiny island in the centre of my small kitchen is my preferred route and has helped to hatch many Facebook posts.

10. Hiding in the bathroom just to regroup during social events
If you think I have a small bladder, I don’t. I can socialize and entertain—and I do—but I have a small social battery. After any get-together, I have a strong need for quiet, calm, and no demands while I recharge my overtaxed nervous system. Don’t worry. I’ll be fine. It is all about the Zen.

These are some of my self-accommodations, my strategies. They all work just fine for me and those who care about me just accept that this is my mom, my wife, my sister, my Nana. What about you? Are there things you do that are perfect for you but get the side-eye from others?

All things Autism and ADHD ❤️💚💜💙💛Toronto Autism GroupAuDHD AdultsAuDHD AdultsAutistic Women Support Group | LGBTQ+ Inclusive | Safe PlaceÂû@followers

06/29/2025

Great reminders related to caregiving:

If I get dementia, I’d like my family to hang this wish list up on the wall where I live. I want them to remember these things.
1a. Every time you enter the room announce yourself. “Hi Mom- it’s Margaret.”
NEVER ask- Do you know who I am??? That causes anxiety.
1. If I get dementia, I want my friends and family to embrace my reality.
2. If I think my spouse is still alive, or if I think we’re visiting my parents for dinner, let me believe those things. I’ll be much happier for it.
3. If I get dementia, don’t argue with me about what is true for me versus what is true for you.
4. If I get dementia, and I am not sure who you are, do not take it personally. My timeline is confusing to me.
5. If I get dementia, and can no longer use utensils, do not start feeding me. Instead, switch me to a finger-food diet, and see if I can still feed myself.
6. If I get dementia, and I am sad or anxious, hold my hand and listen. Do not tell me that my feelings are unfounded.
7. If I get dementia, I don’t want to be treated like a child. Talk to me like the adult that I am.
8. If I get dementia, I still want to enjoy the things that I’ve always enjoyed. Help me find a way to exercise, read, and visit with friends.
9. If I get dementia, ask me to tell you a story from my past.
10. If I get dementia, and I become agitated, take the time to figure out what is bothering me.
11. If I get dementia, treat me the way that you would want to be treated.
12. If I get dementia, make sure that there are plenty of snacks for me in the house. Even now if I don’t eat I get angry, and if I have dementia, I may have trouble explaining what I need.
13. If I get dementia, don’t talk about me as if I’m not in the room.
14. If I get dementia, don’t feel guilty if you cannot care for me 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. It’s not your fault, and you’ve done your best. Find someone who can help you, or choose a great new place for me to live.
15. If I get dementia, and I live in a dementia care community, please visit me often.
16. If I get dementia, don’t act frustrated if I mix up names, events, or places. Take a deep breath. It’s not my fault.
17. If I get dementia, make sure I always have my favorite music playing within earshot.
18. If I get dementia, and I like to pick up items and carry them around, help me return those items to their original place.
19. If I get dementia, don’t exclude me from parties and family gatherings.
20. If I get dementia, know that I still like receiving hugs or handshakes.
21. If I get dementia, remember that I am still the person you know and love.”
ᴄᴏᴘʏ ᴀɴᴅ ᴘᴀsᴛᴇ in Honor of someone you know or knew who has dementia. In Honor of all those I know and love and lost who are fighting Dementia/Alzheimer’s.

Send a message to learn more

06/29/2025

Self-compassion is a powerful practice that can transform how we relate to ourselves. Here are six simple yet profound ways to bring more kindness and care into your life:
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1️⃣ Ask yourself, 'What do I need?': Pause for a moment and check in. Do you need rest, reassurance, movement, or connection? Listening to yourself with curiosity and care is a powerful act of self-compassion.
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2️⃣ Treat Yourself Like a Friend: Speak to yourself with the same kindness and understanding you’d offer a dear friend.
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3️⃣ Supportive Touch: A gentle hand on your heart or a comforting self-hug can soothe and ground you in moments of distress.
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4️⃣ Write a Self-Compassionate Letter: Put pen to paper and offer yourself words of comfort and encouragement, just as you would to someone you love.
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5️⃣ Remember You Aren’t Alone: It’s important to acknowledge that we all face challenges—this imperfection is what makes us human.
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6️⃣ Use a Warm Inner Tone of Voice: Try to adopt a gentle tone with yourself, especially when things go wrong. Practice patience, love, and understanding toward yourself.
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🌸 Have you tried any of these self-compassion practices? Share your favorite one below!
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06/09/2025

Een nieuwe maand, een nieuwe spreuk!
Eentje om te doordenken!

Wat ik weet
is dat er heel veel is
wat ik niet weet.
Wat ik weet
is dat niemand beter wordt
van beterweten.
Wat ik weet
is dat wie alles weet
dat meestal enkel dénkt te weten.
Wat ik weet
is dat ik bedachtzaamheid, nieuwsgierigheid
vaak wijzer vind dan weten.
Wat ik weet
is dat het menselijk is
om het (even) niet te weten.
Maar weet je,
Ik heb de wijsheid niet in pacht.
Het enige wat ik weet
is dat het soms wijs is
om niet te weten.

Copy: stem en pen van BZN, Christina Van Geel

06/03/2025

Summer bucket list ideas ☀👇

06/03/2025