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02/07/2026

At the playground, a group of middle-schoolers sit huddled together on a bench, not swinging or climbing, but completely absorbed in their smartphones. A parent calls out, "Hey, let's go!" and is met with a disinterested grunt, eyes never leaving the screens. It’s a familiar modern tableau—one that leaves many parents feeling sidelined and slightly helpless.

This exact sense of displacement—the quiet ache of feeling your child drift towards their peers rather than turning to you—is the powerful reality that “Hold On to Your Kids” by Gordon Neufeld and Gabor Maté addresses with profound insight and compassion. More than just a parenting book, it’s a cultural diagnosis and a heartfelt guide back to connection.

Here are five vital lessons it offers:

1. The Concept of Peer Orientation. The book illuminates the crucial distinction between healthy peer interaction and a damaging “peer orientation,” where children look to their contemporaries, instead of their parents, for their cues on values, identity, and emotional security. This explains the baffling power struggles and emotional distance many parents experience.

2. Attachment is the Key to Influence. Neufeld and Maté argue persuasively that our culture has confused authority with authoritarianism. True parental authority isn’t about punishment or control; it’s the natural fruit of a secure, hierarchical attachment. When a child is securely attached to us, they want to follow our lead and adopt our values.

3. We Must Collect Our Children Daily. Connection isn’t a one-time setup. The authors provide the beautiful, practical idea of “collecting” your child—making deliberate, warm contact that bridges any separation. A look, a touch, a shared joke—these moments of reconnection are the daily rituals that maintain the attachment bond, especially after school or conflicts.

4. Resist Competing with the Digital Village. The book clarifies that the battle isn’t with friends or technology itself, but for our role as the primary source of orientation. Instead of simply banning screens, we must work harder to provide something more compelling: ourselves. Fulfillment, fun, and a sense of belonging must be found first within the family.

5. Hold On with Open Hands, Not a Closed Fist. “Holding on” is not about control, clinginess, or stifling independence. It is about being a reliable, inviting harbor—a safe base from which a child can confidently explore the world. It’s providing an unshakable relationship that allows them to individuate because they feel secure, not in rebellion against insecurity.

This book is a heart-warming read not because it offers easy fixes, but because it validates our deepest instincts to seek closeness with our children, while giving us the science and the roadmap to do so. It replaces guilt with understanding and anxiety with empowered purpose. For any parent, guardian, or educator who feels the chill of that playground bench scenario, this book is a gentle, urgent, and deeply hopeful call to rebuild the connections that matter most.

BOOK: https://amzn.to/4ak7LtI

You can ENJOY the AUDIOBOOK for FREE (When you register for Audible Membership Trial) using the same link above.

02/06/2026

My copy of Boundaries by Anne Katherine isn't on a pristine shelf. It's on my nightstand, cover creased, pages warped from a spilled cup of tea, and filled with underlines in three different colors of ink. It's less of a book to me now and more of a field guide for the soul I had to rebuild.

I didn't find it in a bookstore. A friend, who had watched me dissolve into a puddle of apologetic anxiety for a year, finally pressed it into my hands and said, "Please. Just read the first two chapters." I was the queen of "no, it's fine!" when it was absolutely not fine. I was a master at absorbing other people's moods, crises, and responsibilities until I was so heavy with them I couldn't move.

Reading it was like someone finally turning on the lights in a room I'd been stumbling through in the dark. Katherine puts a name to the unnamed pain: boundarylessness.

She doesn't just talk about saying "no." She maps the entire, invisible geography of the self. The chapter on emotional boundaries literally changed my life. I read her description of a "boundary violation" – when someone dumps their anger on you as if you're responsible for it, and my heart started pounding. I had a flashback to a former boss who would erupt in frustration, and I would spend days carrying the shame and anxiety, thinking, "What did I do wrong?" The book told me, plainly: Their anger is their property. Your peace is yours. You are not a dumping ground. That single idea was a seismic shift.

The book is relentlessly practical. It's filled with "Oh, that's what that is!" moments. That feeling of exhaustion after a chatty stranger monopolizes you on a long flight? Boundary issue. The resentment toward a friend who always asks for favors but never reciprocates? Boundary issue. The inability to hang up the phone with a demanding relative? Massive, glaring boundary issue.

Katherine gives you the language for what you instinctively feel but have been trained to ignore. She provides scripts that feel like life rafts:

• I can't take that on right now.
• I'm not comfortable with that.
• This is what I need for this to work.

At first, saying these words made my mouth feel dry and my palms sweat. It felt like I was being shockingly rude. But the book reassured me: Clarity is kindness. A fake "yes" is a future betrayal.

If any of this resonates with you, if you feel constantly overextended, secretly resentful, or emotionally hijacked by the people around you, this book is your first, best step. It’s the compassionate, firm friend you need, explaining that building a fence around your yard doesn't make you a bad neighbor. It means you finally understand where your property begins, and you get to decide who comes in, and when, and how.

It’s not always an easy read, because it forces you to look at where you’ve been letting the world walk all over you. But it is a profoundly liberating one.

BOOK: https://amzn.to/4qgJ1bP

02/04/2026

I read The Art of Not Overthinking by Shaurya Kapoor, and I've got some thoughts.

This book feels like a long, comforting chat with a friend who gets it, the late-night mental spirals, the second-guessing, the feeling of being stuck inside your own head. It’s not a complex clinical manual; it’s a gentle, affirming push to start trusting yourself.

The book’s central idea is powerful in its simplicity, Overthinking shrinks when self-belief grows. Kapoor argues that we don't overthink because we're flawed; we overthink because we've stopped trusting our own potential, intentions, and resilience.

The art isn't about forcibly stopping thoughts. It's about building a self-trust so solid that the "what ifs" lose their power. If you know you can handle failure and rebuild from scratch, you spend less time catastrophizing.

3 Key Takeaways That Actually Stuck With Me:

1. Stop the War Inside: The book frames overthinking as a civil war in your mind. The most courageous act you can do is to choose your own peace and lay down the weapons of negative self-talk. This reframe made the struggle feel less like a personal failing and more like a choice I could practice.

2. Healing the "Over-": Kapoor directly speaks to the over-thinkers, over-feelers, and over-givers. The insight is that these patterns often stem from the same place: a lack of internal validation. Building a healthier relationship with yourself isn't selfish, it's the foundation that stops you from over-investing in external validation.

3. It’s a Practice, Not a Prize: The book doesn't promise a magical, overthink-free life. It presents self-trust as a daily practice, choosing to believe in your work and your worth today, and then again tomorrow. This felt manageable, not overwhelming.

Yes, if you need a boost of hope and a reminder of your own strength. This book is a comforting companion for a bad brain day or a gentle nudge when you're feeling stuck. It’s less about teaching you new things and more about helping you believe the good, true things you already know about yourself.

It’s the kind of book you keep on your nightstand for a quick dose of encouragement, a soft reset for your mindset when the thoughts get too loud.

The Art of Not Overthinking is a compassionate, affirmation-filled guide for anyone ready to turn down the volume of their inner critic and start building confidence from the inside out.

BOOK: https://amzn.to/3NM5AI5

02/02/2026

Sometimes the bravest thing we can do is decide once, and then live our lives without reopening the door to doubt. That quiet wisdom sits at the heart of Don't Overthink It, and it is spoken not with pressure, but with permission. Permission to stop performing mental gymnastics. Permission to choose peace over perfection. Permission to enjoy our lives as they are, not as we endlessly rehearse them in our heads. Listening to Anne Bogel narrate her own words feels like sitting across the table from a calm friend who understands your busy mind and still believes you deserve rest. Her voice carries warmth, humor, and a steady reassurance that you are not broken for thinking deeply, you just need better places to set your thinking down. This is a heart to heart reflection on six lessons that lingered long after the audio ended.

1. Decision fatigue is real, and it is stealing your joy: The book gently names what many of us feel but rarely articulate. We are tired, not because life is hard alone, but because we are deciding everything all the time. What to eat, what to wear, what to say, what to choose, what if, what next. Anne Bogel reminds us that every decision costs something, even the small ones. Her narration carries empathy, not judgment, as she invites us to reduce unnecessary choices. When fewer decisions compete for our attention, the important ones receive our best selves. This lesson feels like exhaling after holding your breath for too long.

2. You are allowed to choose what works, even if it is not optimal: One of the sweetest freedoms in the book is the release from chasing the best option. Anne speaks tenderly about choosing the good enough choice and moving forward without regret. The way she says it makes you believe her. Overthinking often disguises itself as responsibility, but the author reframes it as fear wearing a clever coat. She encourages us to trust that a workable decision can still lead to a meaningful life. Joy does not require optimization. It requires presence.

3. Make decisions once, then build rhythms around them: There is comfort in the way Anne Bogel talks about routines. Not as rigid rules, but as kindness to your future self. In her narration, you hear the smile when she explains choosing meals, outfits, or schedules ahead of time so the mind can rest. This lesson lands emotionally because it is not about control, it is about care. When decisions become rhythms, the brain finds space to breathe, and the heart finds room to feel.

4. Clarity often comes from knowing your season: The book speaks beautifully about seasons of life, and the audio format makes this lesson especially tender. Anne acknowledges that what fits now may not fit later, and that is not failure. It is wisdom. Overthinking often comes from applying outdated standards to a new season. Through her calm storytelling, she invites us to ask gentler questions. What do I need now. What matters in this season. What can I let go of without guilt. The emotional weight of this lesson is heavy in the best way, like truth settling into place.

5. Not every decision deserves equal attention: One of the most liberating ideas in the book is learning which decisions matter and which do not. Anne Bogel speaks with clarity and warmth about reserving energy for choices that align with values, while releasing the rest. Listening to her say this feels like being given back hours of your life. Overthinking shrinks when we stop treating every choice like a referendum on our worth. This lesson teaches discernment without anxiety, and intention without pressure.

6. Joy grows when we stop rehearsing alternate lives: Perhaps the most emotional lesson is the invitation to stop replaying, revising, and regretting. Anne’s voice carries compassion as she speaks about the habit of second guessing, and how it quietly robs us of joy. Overthinking pulls us out of the present and into imaginary futures or edited pasts. The book gently calls us back. Back to the life we chose. Back to the moment we are living. Back to joy that is already here, waiting for our attention.

Book/Audiobook: https://amzn.to/4btTVHF

You can access the audiobook when you register on the Audible platform using the l!nk above.

02/02/2026

Rachel Hollis built an empire telling women to "wash their faces," work harder, and take control of their lives. She had the perfect marriage, the perfect family, the thriving business, the Instagram-perfect life that millions of women aspired to. Then her husband asked for a divorce. And everything she'd built her brand on—the marriage, the partnership she'd written books about, the life she'd held up as proof that hustle and positivity could create perfection—shattered. "Didn't See That Coming" is Rachel's reckoning with the fact that sometimes life punches you in the face regardless of how hard you worked, how positive you stayed, or how perfectly you performed.

This book is messy, raw, and completely different from Rachel's previous work. She's not the confident guru telling you how to fix your life—she's a woman falling apart in real-time, trying to figure out how to survive when the narrative she built her entire identity around explodes. Some people hated this book, felt betrayed that she didn't have all the answers. I found it brave. Because the hardest thing any self-help author can do is admit: I don't know. I'm lost. Everything I told you might have been wrong. The advice I gave doesn't work when life really breaks you. And I'm just as scared and confused as everyone else.

Here are seven truths from this vulnerable, uncomfortable book about surviving what you didn't see coming:

1. You Can Do Everything "Right" and Still Lose—And That's Terrifying
Rachel thought she'd figured it out. Work on your marriage. Communicate. Prioritize your relationship. She did all of it. Wrote about it. Taught it. And her husband still wanted out. The lesson that destroyed her (and me reading it): sometimes you do everything right and still lose. Your partner still leaves. The business still fails. The diagnosis still comes. Hard work and positive thinking don't make you immune to devastation. This is the truth no self-help book wants to admit because it undermines the entire premise that you control your outcomes. You don't. Not always. And accepting that is both liberating and terrifying.

2. Your Identity Can't Be Built on Someone Else—Even Your Spouse
Rachel's identity was wrapped up in being "Dave Hollis's wife," in their partnership, their brand, their story. When he left, she didn't just lose a marriage—she lost herself. She had to figure out who Rachel was outside of "Rachel and Dave." This gutted me because I've done this—built my identity around a relationship, made "we" more important than "I," then had no idea who I was when the "we" ended. If your identity depends on another person staying, you're building on sand. You need to know who you are alone before you can be part of a couple. Otherwise, you're not in a relationship—you're in an identity crisis waiting to happen.

3. Grief Doesn't Care About Your Brand or Your Image
Rachel had built a brand on being in control, having answers, radiating positivity. Then grief came and she couldn't control it, had no answers for it, and couldn't positive-think her way through it. She describes crying in public, falling apart in meetings, barely functioning. Her brand said "girl, wash your face and get to work." Her reality said "I can't get out of bed." The bravery here is admitting the gap—that the polished version she sold wasn't the full truth. Grief doesn't care about your image. It doesn't care that you're supposed to be strong. It breaks you anyway. And pretending it doesn't just makes you a liar.

4. The Narrative You Sold Yourself Might Be the One Keeping You Stuck
Rachel believed in the fairy tale: soulmates, forever love, the one perfect person. When that narrative shattered, she had to rebuild her entire worldview. Maybe soulmates aren't real. Maybe love isn't always enough. Maybe "forever" is a hope, not a guarantee. This is hard because we're all attached to our narratives—the stories we tell ourselves about how life works. When reality contradicts the story, we have to choose: keep forcing reality into the narrative, or let the narrative go and build a new one. Rachel chose the latter. It's painful. But it's also freedom from a story that was never true.

5. You're Allowed to Grieve What You Thought Your Life Would Be
Rachel grieved the future she'd planned—growing old with Dave, co-parenting as a team, building their empire together. None of that was happening. The life she'd imagined was dead. And she had to mourn it before she could build something new. This permission—to grieve the future you lost, not just the past—changed how I think about disappointment. When your life doesn't go as planned, you're not just dealing with present pain. You're grieving the entire future you built in your imagination. That future deserves mourning, even though it never existed. You're allowed to be sad about what won't be, not just what was.

6. Asking for Help Isn't Weakness—It's Survival
Pre-divorce Rachel preached self-sufficiency: you don't need anyone, you've got this, be your own hero. Post-divorce Rachel admits: I couldn't have survived this alone. She needed therapy, friends, family, help with her kids, someone to literally make sure she ate. The old Rachel would have called this weakness. The new Rachel calls it survival. I'm still learning this—that needing people doesn't make you pathetic, that asking for help doesn't make you a burden, that you don't get bonus points for suffering alone. The strongest thing you can do when you're drowning is grab the hand reaching toward you.

7. Starting Over at 40 (Or Any Age) Isn't Failure—It's Just Life
Rachel had to rebuild her entire life at 38—new identity, new home, new future, new understanding of herself. She thought she was done with the "figuring out who I am" phase. Turns out, you're never done. Life keeps breaking you open and demanding you grow in ways you didn't plan for. Starting over isn't failure. It's not evidence you did something wrong. It's just what happens when life doesn't follow your script. The fact that you have to reinvent yourself at 40, or 50, or 60 doesn't mean you failed the first time. It means you're brave enough to keep growing instead of staying in a life that no longer fits.

"Didn't See That Coming" is Rachel Hollis at her most human—stripped of the glossy confidence, admitting she doesn't have it figured out, confessing that the life she sold as aspirational was actually falling apart behind the scenes. Some people can't forgive her for this. They feel betrayed that she wasn't perfect, that her marriage wasn't , that her advice didn't save her from devastation. I think that's the wrong response. The bravest thing she did was stop performing perfection and start telling the truth: life breaks everyone eventually, and all the hustle and positivity in the world won't prevent it. What matters is what you do when the life you built crumbles.

Do you hide and keep performing strength? Or do you admit you're shattered and start rebuilding from the pieces? Rachel chose honesty. And yes, it's messy and imperfect and sometimes contradicts everything she said before. But that's what growth looks like. That's what surviving the unsurvivable looks like. Read this book not for answers—Rachel doesn't have them. Read it for companionship in the devastation, for permission to fall apart when life doesn't go as planned, for the reminder that starting over isn't failure. It's just being human in a world that keeps demanding we grow.

02/02/2026

Your body remembers every terrible thing that ever happened to you even when your brain pretends it forgot, and that's why you're having panic attacks in the cereal aisle at Target for no apparent reason.
Aimie Apigian wrote "The Biology of Trauma" because she's a physician and trauma survivor who realized something most therapists miss: you can talk about your trauma until you're exhausted, understand it intellectually, know exactly why you're broken and still be stuck because trauma isn't stored in your thoughts, it's stored in your cells.

1. Trauma Lives in Your Nervous System, Not Your Mind
Apigian explains that trauma isn't a psychological problem you can think your way out of it's a biological one. Your nervous system got stuck in survival mode. Your body is still bracing for danger that ended years ago.
You're not anxious because you're weak. You're anxious because your autonomic nervous system is firing like you're being chased by a predator, except the predator is your own biology and it won't turn off.

2. Your Body Developed Survival Patterns
Apigian breaks down what happens: when trauma occurs, your body creates strategies to survive. Fight, flight, freeze, fawn. Those strategies worked when you needed them. But now your nervous system is still running those programs even though the threat is gone.
You shut down during conflict because that's what kept you safe as a kid. You people-please because fawning prevented violence. You can't relax because hypervigilance was survival. Your body is doing exactly what it was trained to do it just doesn't know the war is over.

3. Talk Therapy Isn't Enough
Here's what shocked people: Apigian says traditional therapy that focuses on talking about trauma can actually retraumatize you if your nervous system isn't regulated first. You're forcing your body to relive the experience without the biological capacity to process it.
Healing has to start with your body somatic work, nervous system regulation, teaching your biology that you're safe now. Once your body believes it, then you can process the memories. Not before.

4. You Have to Rewire at the Cellular Level
Apigian teaches that healing isn't about understanding what happened. It's about changing how your body responds to the world. Breathwork. Movement. Touch. Anything that signals safety to your nervous system.
You have to literally rewire your biology. Teach your cells they don't have to brace anymore. Show your nervous system that relaxation won't kill you. It's slow, unglamorous work. But it's the only thing that actually changes the trauma response instead of just managing it.

BOOK : https://amzn.to/49Tsw0A
You can ENJOY the AUDIOBOOK for FREE (When you register for Audible Membership Trial) using the same link above

02/02/2026

Toxic thoughts don’t usually shout.
They whisper—repeating old fears, inherited beliefs, and quiet judgments until they feel like truth.

Over time, those thoughts shape how we see ourselves, how we treat others, and how safe the world feels inside our own minds. We try to “think positive,” but the deeper patterns remain untouched—because they were never just mental. They were emotional, spiritual, and embodied.

That deeper approach is what How to Heal Toxic Thoughts by Sandra Ingerman offers with gentleness and depth. Drawing from shamanic wisdom and spiritual psychology, Ingerman invites readers to see thoughts not as enemies to defeat, but as energies to transform through awareness, compassion, and intention.

Reading this book felt less like correcting my mind and more like tending to it.

Here Are Five Insights That Gave the Book Its Quiet Power

1. Thoughts are living energies, not just ideas.
Ingerman suggests that thoughts carry emotional and energetic weight. When repeated unconsciously, they shape our inner environment much like pollution shapes a landscape. Healing begins by recognizing their influence—not shaming ourselves for having them.

2. Toxic thoughts often come from wounded places.
Rather than labeling thoughts as “bad,” the book asks where they originated. Fear-based thinking is often rooted in trauma, loss, or learned survival strategies. Compassion, not force, is what allows these patterns to soften.

3. Awareness interrupts repetition.
One of the book’s core teachings is the power of conscious observation. When you notice a toxic thought without identifying with it, you weaken its grip. Awareness creates space—and space creates choice.

4. Healing requires intention, not suppression.
Pushing thoughts away only drives them underground. Ingerman emphasizes intention—actively choosing thoughts aligned with peace, gratitude, and wholeness—while gently releasing those that no longer serve.

5. Inner healing ripples outward.
The book connects personal thought patterns to collective well-being. As individuals heal their inner dialogue, they contribute to a more compassionate external world. Inner peace becomes an act of responsibility, not retreat.

When I finished the book, my inner world felt quieter—not because negative thoughts vanished, but because they no longer felt like unquestionable authorities. I learned to meet them with curiosity instead of fear. That alone changed everything.

How to Heal Toxic Thoughts isn’t about controlling the mind.
It’s about befriending it.

Because when you stop fighting your thoughts and start listening with compassion,
healing doesn’t arrive as a dramatic breakthrough—it arrives as a steady return to peace, clarity, and trust in yourself.

Book: https://amzn.to/4brg619

Enjoy the audiobook with a membership trial using the same link.

02/02/2026

Most people grow up believing their struggles mean something is wrong with them. What Happened to You? quietly dismantles that belief and replaces it with something far more truthful, and relieving.

In this conversation-driven book, Oprah Winfrey and trauma psychiatrist Dr. Bruce Perry shift the focus from blame to context. This isn’t a deep dive into labels or pathology. It’s an accessible explanation of how early experiences shape the brain, body, and behavior—and how shame loosens its grip once those patterns make sense.

Key takeaways:

1. Trauma is defined by impact, not the event
What matters is how your nervous system experienced it, not how dramatic it looks on paper.

2. Your coping once kept you alive
Anxiety, numbness, anger, people-pleasing, these were solutions, not defects.

3. Healing is relational
Regulation and safety are learned through connection, not isolation.

4. The body carries what the mind avoids
Trauma lives in the nervous system, which means insight alone isn’t enough.

5. Understanding reduces judgment
When behavior is seen as communication, compassion replaces blame, starting with yourself.

What Happened to You? doesn’t trap you in the past. It gives you context for the present. It offers language for patterns you couldn’t explain and releases shame you were never meant to carry. It doesn’t excuse harm, but it explains it. And for many people, that explanation is where healing finally begins.

BOOK: https://amzn.to/4toxgTJ

02/02/2026

There’s a look of frustration I know too well. It’s the look my son used to get after we’d ask him for the third time to get ready for school, or when he’d slam his backpack down in tears because, yet again, he couldn’t find the one permission slip in the "black hole" of his binder. He is bright, curious, and creative.

So why were such simple tasks, tasks he wanted to do, ending in meltdowns? We tried reminders, then consequences, then pep talks about “trying harder.” Nothing stuck. We were all exhausted, and a quiet voice in my head had started to whisper the worst fear: maybe he’s just lazy.

Then a friend handed me Smart but Scattered by Peg Dawson and Richard Guare. Reading it felt like someone had finally turned on the lights in a dark room.

The core revelation is my son wasn’t unwilling, he was unable. The book explains that the daily chaos was not a character flaw, but a skills deficit. The authors argue that struggling with organization, time management, or emotional control has nothing to do with intelligence or motivation, and everything to do with a set of brain-based abilities called executive skills.

These are the fundamental mental processes, like a CEO for the brain, that we all need to plan, focus, remember, and control our impulses. For some kids, these skills simply develop on a different timeline.

The book is built on three profound lessons that completely shifted our parenting:

1. Stop Managing the Symptom, Start Teaching the Skill
The most transformative idea is the shift from punishment to pedagogy. Yelling at a child for a messy desk is like yelling at someone for not knowing how to swim. What they need is swimming lessons. Dawson and Guare provide the lesson plans.

2. Become Your Child’s Scaffolding
This was the practical heart of the book for me. Since my son couldn’t yet organize himself, I had to be his external organizer, his scaffolding. The book is packed with what this looks like in real life.
Instead of the vague command, Clean your room, we broke it down using their step-by-step plans. We:

1. Changed the Environment: We replaced his toy box with clear, labeled bins. A “homework station” was created with all necessary supplies in one place.

2. Changed the Task: We made a visual checklist with pictures (for a younger child) or simple text: 1. Pick up clothes. 2. Put books on shelf. 3. Make bed.

3. Changed Our Interaction: I stopped nagging. Instead, I supervised the checklist with him, providing calm guidance and praise for each completed step, then gradually “faded” back as he internalized the routine.
This “scaffolding” isn’t doing it for them forever; it’s providing the support structure while the internal skill is being built.
3. Look in the Mirror, Your Skills Matter, Too
Perhaps the most humbling and helpful chapter had us, the parents, take our own executive skills assessment. The results were an eye-opener. My husband, highly organized and punctual, had been clashing with our son’s chaotic nature, viewing it as personal defiance. I, who struggle with task initiation myself, had been enabling him by doing things for him to avoid conflict.

This book is an exceptional toolbox. The second half is essentially a manual with over 20 ready-made plans for everything from morning routines to managing anxiety. For a parent feeling overwhelmed, you can flip straight to your crisis point and find a starting plan.

BOOK: https://amzn.to/4bu9GhN

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