06/26/2025
Reflection and introspection is hitting me hard this season. Nurturance and home internal and external is needed. But if i have one thing to say.
Baby girl. What a fu***ng rollercoaster of life. Brace yourself, if that’s one piece of advice i can give you. I have more. To the outside world they only see the armor that you’ve constantly had to deconstruct and rebuild. Your clairvoyant and tho you keep it to yourself because you know no one will understand it. Your family don’t quite know what to make of you, but they do their best. You still feel alone and still to this day require a lot of solitude and reclusion because you don’t understand the planet and the energies around you.
Baby girl, you will go through tragedies. And so much heartache that you still don’t understand. You’re not crazy. Some days, 30 years later you still fill that same feeling, loneliness. You yearn to be seen by loved ones and often feel misunderstood.
Out of survival you learned to silence your voice and absorb things like a sponge, to not take up space, to be compliant because that’s the only way they will love you. It breaks you the tragedies that you face, the abandonment, the conditional love you’ve faced is temporary. Know that I love you. Through out all this and wanting to give up you keep going.
Your 20s are a s**t show because you are unlearning how to survive, and relearning how to live. You learn what unconditional love it it’s purest form is because you became a mom. You learned that you have a voice and that you take up space. And you’re hyper intelligent, and you love learning. You learned to regulate your emotions that you don’t need to yell or storm off to have difficult conversations. You learn how to nurture your children and your inner child. Your partner is supportive and helps facilitate space.
All this to say I love you and we did it. Keep going yes your dreams have changed but have they?
