Keeva D, Sweetest Pea

Keeva D, Sweetest Pea Keeva is my precious baby girl. She is my gift from God. She is my joy and the reason I laugh

Today grief hit me like running into a brick wall. Came out of nowhere, maybe swimming in the pool and Keeva not being b...
04/07/2025

Today grief hit me like running into a brick wall. Came out of nowhere, maybe swimming in the pool and Keeva not being by my side, or Finny on the step. I’ve been having a lot of personal challenges which doesn’t help either. While in the pool a pair or cardinals came by (I think as I didn’t have my glasses or contacts on), a couple monarchs and I think Zoe sent me one of her heart clouds. It’s just been a waterworks kind of day.

I’ve been missing my babies terribly. I’ve been wondering why no signs from Keeva. I guess I will take this as a sign. I...
03/05/2025

I’ve been missing my babies terribly. I’ve been wondering why no signs from Keeva. I guess I will take this as a sign. I had an alert that one of my favorites from Etsy was on sale. While I was checking this out, I see this. I had a heart made and this is the magnet that came with it. It’s not the best picture.

If anyone has their pets cremated, I highly suggest asking for a separate pouch/small amount set aside for cremation keepsakes. You have NO idea how difficult it was for me to break into everyone’s urns.

02/27/2025

Depression sucks! I miss my babies so much. Thank God I have my little River. I hate feeling like a failure of a human. I’m sure this too shall pass, but I’ve been crying for days on end and can’t stop.

02/24/2025

Oh Keeva and Finny. I’ve been having a rough few days. I miss you so much and the tears are flowing like you left my side yesterday. I’ve been sick, but getting better now. I’ve been getting more depressed about my job situation and trying not to feel like a failure of a human.
I’ve seen lots of cardinals and hawks the past 2 days, but I don’t know who is visiting, I just say thank you. I wish I could hear the soft pitter patter of Keeva D’s feet or Finny’s saunter on the hardwood floors. I miss Keeva’s whining wanting more love and attention because I just stopped petting her. I miss Finny at the side of the bed being Moaning Myrtle. I miss Finny’s gentle head laying across my lap as I gently stroke his soft head. I miss Keeva spooning me in bed. I’m grateful for the time and love we shared, but this wave of grief is a doozy.

Thank you so much for visiting me yesterday Finn. You know how difficult February is for me. It used to be a month full ...
02/02/2025

Thank you so much for visiting me yesterday Finn. You know how difficult February is for me. It used to be a month full of celebrations. Now it’s a month of reflection. Your birthday is next weekend, followed by Zoe’s birthday, then Riley’s. I’m going to do something special in remembrance for all of you on your birthdays 🎈. I hope to anyway.
Sometimes my depression keeps me from moving out of a chair or out of bed.
I started a memory garden for you all. Maybe I can paint some rocks, pull weeds and maybe plant something for you weather permitting. It’s where most of my milkweed is and where the monarch butterflies pollinate.
I miss all of you so very, very much. I can’t believe you and Keeva are gone too. Finny, thank you for sending Little River and Keeva, thank you for telling him how to take care of mom. I will love you all until the end of all time.

01/18/2025

While taking some videos of the puppy this morning, I saw in this video and I took 3 this morning. I saw an orb floating around. Could it be Finny or Keeva D? Does anyone else see it?

01/16/2025

I woke up with a deep wave of grief. I haven’t felt Finny’s presence as much and I have yet to feel Keeva. That makes me sad. I’m on the way to the parks to walk it off.
As I sit in my car crying, Depeche Mode comes on. The song, I Feel You from their Songs of Faith and Devotion album comes on. Here’s the lyrics

I feel you
Your sun it shines
I feel you
Within my mind
You take me there
You take me where
The kingdom comes
You take me to
And lead me through
Babylon
This is the morning of our love
It's just the dawning of our love
I feel you
Your heart it sings
I feel you
The joy it brings
Where heaven waits
Those golden gates
And back again
You take me to
And lead me through
Oblivion
This is the morning of our love
It's just the dawning of our love
I feel you
Your precious soul
And I am whole
I feel you
Your rising sun
My kingdom comes
I feel you
Each move you make
I feel you
Each breath you take
Where angels sing
And spread their wings
My love's on high
You take me home
To glory's throne
By and by
This is the morning of our love
It's just the dawning of our love
This is the morning of our love
It's just the dawning of our love

During a walk today I saw a patch of sweet peas. I immediately thought of you Keeva D.
01/09/2025

During a walk today I saw a patch of sweet peas. I immediately thought of you Keeva D.

01/01/2025

Video of my angels Riley, Zoe and baby Finn

01/01/2025

I was unable to change the name of this page to Remembering Finny and Keeva, but that’s what I will be doing going forward.

Thank you to my friends and family that didn’t abandon me during this horrific year. Unless anyone has walked my shoes, you just don’t know what it’s like to lose not one, but two in such a short time. Then have it happen to you again…..

As you know, I’m pretty transparent and not stoic. I would prefer to be surrounded by people who love me for who I am. Also getting it out there is a form of healing. Like expelling the evil.

I’m seeking behavioral health care and now upping and adding new medication. See, I learned that I have complex PTSD and complex grief. This is why I go over the same thing over and over again and can’t let it go. I know this has to be taxing on those around me, but thank you for sticking with me. I will continue to analyze everything 7 ways to Sunday. It’s just part of the illness/diagnosis. I am learning tools to help me navigate life with this.

If you care, please be gentle with me as I am fragile. I will be focusing on rebuilding myself and remembering my babies. I don’t have human ones, this is as close as it gets. It’s impossible to love them any more than I do.

The time we did have together was glorious and filled with deep love 💕

If you have anyone you love, no matter how many legs. Love them like there is no tomorrow. There may not be a tomorrow.

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8492 Island Palm Circle
Orlando, FL
32835

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