Inclusion Counseling and Therapy, LLC

10/16/2025

If you struggle with clutter or organization this could be helpful!

10/15/2025

10/06/2025

09/26/2025

09/25/2025

As a therapist:
Tylenol👏
Does 👏
Not 👏
Cause 👏
Autism! 👏

Sources in comments

09/21/2025

09/10/2025

09/09/2025

09/09/2025

This!

09/08/2025

08/31/2025

04/07/2025

Important to remember with small people. Important to remember with big people. Important to remember with yourself.

Anger is usually (maybe always) hiding something else.

And then, to flip this on its head: anger often feels *safer* than most of these other things, so if you react to your child’s [grief/hurt/embarrassment/rejection/anxiety/confusion] with a reaction that allows them to flip a switch into anger, then they’ll rest there. The takeaway they leave the situation with was “Mom/Dad/Grandma/Uncle/Ms./Mr. so-and-so made me mad,” not, “I did xyz” or “Xyz happened”.

Child does something "wrong", instantaneously feels guilty or embarrassed or anxious about the instantaneous, natural consequences of the thing, because child does not want to do "wrong things". Child is on their way to learning something from these instinctual, natural feelings, but...

Adult sees child do wrong thing, yells at child or shames child or punishes child or rolls eyes at child -- or maybe even helps child, but with a general air of "you're such a nuisance, you always do things wrong".

Child is now free to feel boiling-up anger at adult instead, and yell at them, or run away from the situation, or just help them clean up the aftermath and seethe quietly to themself about how adult never understands them.

Original lesson is completely swallowed up by the anger.

[Image description: It reads, “Behind this,” with an arrow pointing at a small circle labeled “Anger”, “might be,” with an arrow pointing at a large circle filled with all kinds of emotions. “Fear, anxiety, frustration, confusion, grief, hurt, sadness, isolation, guilt, shame, jealousy, outrage at injustice, overwhelming stress, humiliation, embarrassment, depression, loneliness, rejection.” The image was made by WholeHearted School Counseling. End description.]