05/24/2025
It’s not supportive if the parents feel like they have to beg, or feel guilty for asking when the answer is “yes”, but seems forced. This is called a “low support” situation. The support wants the appearance of being supportive and loving, with minimal effort and actual follow through. I see this pattern a lot, and it really weighs on parents. They don’t want someone to raise their kids— they want someone to be present, show up, and show they care!
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As mamas, we don’t always have the village we envision. It’s a grieving process when you don’t have reliable people that routinely spend time with your kids, show up when things are really hard, offer to give you a break or send you on a date night, or even just spend time with your family that’s not just about their own schedule. It’s hard and I see you!
I’ve stopped asking people to help with my kids.
Not because I want to be the hero. Not because I don’t desperately need a break some days.
But because I’ve learned to read the looks.
The tight smile. The polite pause. The subtle guilt trip hidden in a “sure.”
And suddenly it’s not just about getting help.
It’s about protecting my kids from feeling like a chore.
It’s about protecting myself from the guilt that creeps in when someone says yes with hesitation.
I want people to show up for them with joy, not obligation.
Because to me, they are joy. Even on the hardest days.
They’re not a task. They’re not an inconvenience.
They’re my heart outside my body.
And I will never let them feel like they are too much.
Even if it means doing it all on my own sometimes.
