03/23/2025
I saw a mother with a newborn on the plane and I could see she was struggling. Should I tell her it’s ok to nurse to comfort her crying baby? What if she wasn’t supported that way and I made her feel bad because she feeds formula? I guess I’ll just smile at her and let her know it’s ok the baby cries - it doesn’t bother me or my girls. The flight attendant told her she’s in the easiest part of parenting. I’m not sure that’s accurate. It’s true; parenting constantly changes. It doesn’t really get “easier”. But they do eventually sleep. Eventually, you accept the term “mother”. I am a mother. It is the hardest and the most amazing thing I have ever done. I tried to tell her this - even though it doesn’t get easier, the transition eventually comes. Eventually we complete the matresence, the evolution into motherhood and that makes things just a little easier. But it’s certainly a journey, and it’s not over in 6 weeks, 3 months — there’s no time limit. Personally, I think it took me at least 5 years to truly accept my new role as a mother. It doesn’t mean the girls were neglected in that time or I didn’t “mother”, but the mental shift from maiden to mother takes as long as it takes. And that is just not easy. But eventually we make the transition, and that feels good. (P.s. I think if we had better support and more it wouldn’t need to take so long, but this is the reality of our current culture. I hope we continue to demand better.)
