04/24/2026
Earlier today I did something I don't do enough — I showed up just to receive.
Guardian Recovery invited me to a book signing for The Cost of Quiet by Colette Jane Fehr, LMFT, LMHC — and I'm so glad I went. Thank you, Meghan Brooks :)
Colette‘s central premise hit close to home, both personally and clinically: staying quiet to keep the peace isn't actually keeping anything. It's a slow form of self-abandonment that quietly hollows out our relationships from the inside.
What struck me most is how deeply this connects to what I see in my trauma work every day. The silencing isn't random — it's nervous system logic. When speaking up has historically felt dangerous, the body learns that staying small is safer than being seen.
That's not a character flaw. That's an attachment wound.
And it lives in the body long after the original relationship is over.
If you've ever swallowed something important to avoid conflict — and felt yourself disappear a little more each time — this book was written for you.
📖 The Cost of Quiet by — get it.
And if you're ready to do the deeper work of understanding why your nervous system learned to go quiet, I'm here for that conversation.
www.jennifergogginlmhc.com
Blog Post
Why You Go Quiet in Relationships — And What Your Nervous System Has to Do With It
Inspired by Colette Jane Fehr's The Cost of Quiet