WITSI

06/11/2025

06/11/2025

I saw a wonderful client of mine today who likes to ask me every so often, "Am I a bad person"?

And my thoughts are always this,

"What makes you think that?"

And.

"When did you start thinking that way too?

---

Some of us live our lives believing that we are the worst people in the world.

Is that you out there somewhere in this world too?

As for me, I once held this belief as well.

Like my client above, this part of me felt rotten.

It felt like whatever I was doing was always wrong, otherwise fake, annoying, and I was a problem.

I hated myself with a passion back then.

Why? Good question.

And if that's you, I encourage you to ask yourself this:

"What does this part of you serve? Where did it come from too?".

--

You see, this is the part of me that wanted to know WHY I didn't feel loved.

It wanted to find a reason for all this pain.

A reason as to why I was hurt by the ones who were supposed to love me.

Why I was left alone with big feelings.

Ignored.

Why I felt too much at times.

And even abandoned too.

When we are children it's not easy to make sense of the world as we do now.

Look at any baby or young child - do you see that they can be made out of bad stuff too?

Do you think they'd want to believe their parents are bad people too?

No, but yet somehow it's always easier to point inwards.

And that's just what we do.

--

Unfortunately the complication over time is us walking from such a childhood into other friendships and relationships too.

A child growing up to believe it's their fault they are not loved.

Will come to believe they are the reason these relationships fail too.

A series of reinforcements as to why we are bad.

Not good.

Or at least not good enough to be loved.

Conditioned to look in and not to look outward.

Where somehow to place the blame outward feels wrong and / or selfish too.

--

There is a young part of you that needs to know the truth.

There is a part of you that needs to grieve instead of blaming yourself too.

Embrace those parts of you.

You are not bad.

You are not a problem.

Just as you are, you deserve to be loved too.

Take care,
Hernping

💙

06/11/2025

ℹ️🌿 DEEP-ROOTED SHAME FROM CHILDHOOD ADVERSITY IS MALLEABLE |

We all know people who are likable, accomplished, and outwardly confident, yet underneath their successful exterior lurks deep self-dislike and self-doubt known as shame. Perhaps that describes how you feel.

Shame from adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) registers not in the verbal, reasoning left hemisphere of the brain, which consciously recalls memories with words and thoughts. Rather, shame lodges mainly in the right brain, with its strong connections to the emotional and physical survival regions of the brain.

The right brain processes and stores memories not with words and logic, but with images, emotions, physical sensations, and action tendencies. Thus, shame from ACEs plays out as a wordless felt sense—of dread, of not being good enough.

Read the Full Article: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/hidden-wounds/202504/deep-rooted-shame-from-childhood-adversity-is-malleable



📷: , Instagram

06/11/2025

06/11/2025

"Some survivors grow up in tricky families where the abuse is quiet and subverted.⁠
And some grow up in families where the parents can't manage their emotions and cause damage to a child's development because a dysregulated adult is terrifying.⁠
Some examples:⁠
- Rage fits, verbal abuse, and throwing objects/destruction⁠
- locking oneself in a room, threatening self-harm⁠
- uncontrolled physical abuse of children⁠
- Alcoholic or substance abuse-intoxicated episodes and blackouts
- Verbal and physical fights between adults inside and outside the family⁠
While these situations cause anyone present to go into survival mode and leave their bodies (especially children), what I feel is more damaging is the following factors:⁠
- not talking about the meltdowns in real and honest ways⁠
- the other adults being complicit and ignoring what happened⁠
- the other adults not using their power to set boundaries, seek resources, and protect children (they have power, and kids don't)⁠
- not engaging in any of the above and therefore normalizing being abusive and dysregulated⁠
At best, siblings can privately say to each other, "Dad's losing it about your bike; don't come home," or "Mom's trashing the house again," but beyond that, they have to just wait for a storm to pass and move on to Wednesday and get through that too.⁠
Survivors leave such homes vulnerable to similar situations because during their first twenty years of life, they've never seen healthy action and accountability for how a toxic parent behaves around children that they are responsible for keeping safe and emotionally happy and healthy.⁠
This post is focused on what the children experienced, not the dysregulated parent or partner. Yes, everyone could benefit from resources, but the focus here is what it was like to grow up in such environments and have the behavior be normalized by the other adults."

Some survivors grow up in tricky families where the abuse is quiet and subverted.⁠

And some grow up in families where the parents can't manage their emotions and cause damage to a child's development because a dysregulated adult is terrifying.⁠

Some examples:⁠

- Rage fits, verbal abuse, and throwing objects/destruction⁠

- locking oneself in a room, threatening self-harm⁠

- uncontrolled physical abuse of children⁠

- Alcoholic or substance abuse-intoxicated episodes and blackouts

- Verbal and physical fights between adults inside and outside the family⁠

While these situations cause anyone present to go into survival mode and leave their bodies (especially children), what I feel is more damaging is the following factors:⁠

- not talking about the meltdowns in real and honest ways⁠

- the other adults being complicit and ignoring what happened⁠

- the other adults not using their power to set boundaries, seek resources, and protect children (they have power, and kids don't)⁠

- not engaging in any of the above and therefore normalizing being abusive and dysregulated⁠

At best, siblings can privately say to each other, "Dad's losing it about your bike; don't come home," or "Mom's trashing the house again," but beyond that, they have to just wait for a storm to pass and move on to Wednesday and get through that too.⁠

Survivors leave such homes vulnerable to similar situations because during their first twenty years of life, they've never seen healthy action and accountability for how a toxic parent behaves around children that they are responsible for keeping safe and emotionally happy and healthy.⁠

This post is focused on what the children experienced, not the dysregulated parent or partner. Yes, everyone could benefit from resources, but the focus here is what it was like to grow up in such environments and have the behavior be normalized by the other adults.

06/11/2025

This is how to start over ❤️

06/11/2025

💬 It's Not Weak to Speak.

This , we’re breaking the silence around men’s mental health.
Real strength lies in reaching out, speaking up, and showing up for yourself and others.

Learn more: nami.org/menshealthmonth

06/11/2025

ℹ️🌿 THE POWER OF NON-LINEAR STORYTELLING |

I’ve studied narrative therapy, a technique that aims to externalize survivors’ pain and uses stories to re-map lived experiences. It can be a deeply enriching practice. I have seen remarkable examples of folks with CPTSD embracing their voices, creativity, and personhood.

I believe so strongly in storytelling. And yet, when I try to write my own stories the way we’re taught, with clear beginnings, middles, and ends, I feel like a hypocrite. I write “around” my own stories. I have no clear narrative peaks and valleys in my life stories.

Every time I try to pin threads into a cohesive line, I end up with spirals. Loops and swirls. Threads in every direction. Traumatic memories are often fragmented, jagged, and defy neat organization along a narrative arc.

There’s never just one storyline. Traumatic memories come in bursts; in images and flashes and feelings, sensations, and somatic jolts.

Read the Full Article: https://cptsdfoundation.org/2025/06/09/the-power-of-non-linear-storytelling/