08/03/2025
The Liberation of Loss: How Letting Go Gives You Life
Often people wonder what their blocks are in life, magick, and wealth.
They search for rituals. Affirmations. Strategy. Divine timing.
But what most never consider is that the very thing obstructing their power…is a person.
Not an enemy.
Someone they love.
Someone they’re holding onto—desperately—hoping they’ll rise to the version they should’ve been all along.
And that hope, more than anything, is the chain.
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The Hidden Weight We Don’t Know We’re Carrying:
Grief isn’t always about death. It’s about absence. It’s about releasing the idea that someone was ever going to show up the way you needed. It’s about watching the version of yourself that you became for them dissolve.
We often carry people in the architecture of our identity. Parents, lovers, friends—we stitch them into our purpose, our joy, even our self-worth. So when they go, whether by choice, by betrayal, or by death, the world doesn't just feel emptier—it feels impossible.
But grief, when fully honored, doesn’t just mourn. It liberates.
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Releasing the Emotional Debt:
To lose someone is to lose the constant emotional negotiation you made for their comfort. The shrinking of yourself to avoid tension. The pretending. The forgiving without apology. The rehearsed silence in exchange for temporary peace.
Grief brings up the bill. And it’s steep—regret, anger, shame, longing, what-if's. But once you pay it with tears, clarity, and solitude, the debt clears. The silence that once scared you becomes sacred. You realize that peace was never supposed to be earned through suffering.
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Loss as a Doorway to Identity:
When the people who once defined you are gone, a terrifying question arises:
Who am I without them?
It’s not a rhetorical question—it’s a rebirth.
You start remembering who you were before the compromise. Before the codependence. Before you believed love meant sacrificing your instincts.
You begin crafting a new purpose. One not built around survival or acceptance, but around truth.
This is where life begins. Not the life you built to keep someone else comfortable—but the life that keeps you free.
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The Block You Didn’t Know Was There:
Sometimes, the very person you’ve kept closest is the exact reason nothing else is moving.
You pray for blessings, clarity, forward motion—but the path remains stagnant.
Not because the magick isn’t working, but because your field is clogged with someone who contradicts it. Your evolution cannot coexist with someone whose presence demands your regression.
Magick won’t bloom where you are constantly betrayed. And blessings won’t pour where dishonor is protected.
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The Physical Cost of Emotional Burden:
The human body is not separate from the human heart. Long-term exposure to emotional disruption—covert hostility, boundary-breaking, control—creates inflammation at the cellular level.
It disrupts hormones. It deregulates the immune system. It triggers autoimmunity, where the body attacks itself, mirroring the energetic sabotage you've tolerated for far too long.
Fertility issues. Hair loss. Chronic fatigue. Mysterious illness. These aren’t random. They are your body screaming in the language of inflammation what your mouth stopped saying in the name of keeping the peace.
Your nervous system was never meant to survive someone else’s unresolved chaos.
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When It’s Your Own Mother:
The final person and block I had to release from my world was my mother.
She was the last family member I had contact with. And she was the root of the generational patterns I was determined to break. I so deeply longed for her approval and love. In public she would declare that I had always had it. In private, I never actually did.
I was different from the beginning.
Whether it was fear of the things attached to me, my abilities, or just me in general, it was beyond clear that I was never going to earn her genuine love and support.
No achievement was ever recognized or hardly even acknowledged. Even in becoming a doctor, all I received was a one word text. “Congrats.”
She tried to redeem herself as a mother by overcompensating as a grandmother—forcing her way into decisions, disrespecting boundaries, and weaponizing access to my children as if they were her second chance.
She imposed Christianity on them—without my consent.
She expected full access to them while undermining, criticizing, and alienating me.
She even allowed my narcissistic aunt whom I’ve hated all my existence, into their lives, thus giving her permission to pry into mine.
There came a moment where tolerance was no longer strength.
It was self-betrayal. So I severed the tie. Cleanly. Completely. Indefinitely.
And the shift was immediate:
• My chronic stress hives vanished.
• The unexplained lymph node swelling disappeared.
• And after seven years of infertility—I became pregnant.
Within a month.
Not metaphorically.
Physically.
Tangibly.
Life literally entered my body—(because her energy exited.)
Letting her go wasn’t a dramatic choice. It was a surgical one.
It was the removal of the final infection in a long line of inherited dysfunction.
And the moment it was done, the healing became immediate.
Sometimes freedom doesn’t come when people change.
It comes when you stop allowing them the proximity to block your future.
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The Life You Were Supposed to Have:
What if grief isn’t the end?
- What if it’s the gate?
When you stop anchoring your soul to the ghosts of unmet needs, you start exploring what’s possible now.
You start tasting the joy you postponed. The creativity you stifled. The dreams you shelved for someone who would’ve stolen the credit or mocked the ambition.
You stop surviving them—and start building a life they never could’ve stood in without trying to control.
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You Didn’t Lose Them. You Found You.:
So if you're in the thick of it—calculating the cost of walking away, mourning what could’ve been, sitting in the quiet aftermath of a bloodline break—know this:
• You are not broken.
• You are being broken open.
The cost of letting someone go might be your illusion of connection.
The reward?
• A life that finally answers to you.
• A body that heals.
• A soul that stabilizes.
• A future that accelerates.
And that trade is sacred.
That trade is final.
That trade is how you begin to live.
Dr. Ashley Otori
Copyright of The Order
