Naj Alikhan, LMFT

08/28/2025

Protect your peace. Stay grounded. Feel secure

08/26/2025

If you want to discover the missing link between comparability and true connection, if you want to create healthier, safer connections, comment or DM me the word “Guide” for a free copy of my guide on why your relationships feel almost right (but never safe)

08/14/2025

If “unavailable” has a grip on you, it’s not because you’re broken — it’s because your nervous system learned to call it love.

We don’t chase the unavailable because it’s exciting.
We chase it because it’s familiar. Because it fits the old roles we’ve played. Because it lets us hide while convincing ourselves we’re “trying.” And because somewhere deep down, we still believe we can earn the ending we didn’t get when we needed it most.

But here’s the truth: the love you actually deserve won’t leave you guessing. It won’t drain you, keep you proving yourself, or make you afraid to exhale.

Availability isn’t boring — it’s the safe ground where real intimacy grows. The question is: will you let yourself have it?

I’ve created a feee guide to help you stop repeating unhealthy relational patterns and build healthier more secure connections. Just comment or DM me “guide” and I’ll send it over to you

08/12/2025

Love that lasts isn’t built in grand gestures.

it’s built in the quiet moments you choose yourself.

When you keep the boundary.

When you say what you mean.

When you don’t leave yourself to keep them.

One choice at a time, you teach your nervous system that love can stay.

07/12/2025

Here’s how to stop spiraling in conflict and return to clarity ⬇️⬇️

Ever freeze or forget your worth the second tension hits? Let’s change that.

But first — DM me “GUIDE” to get my free nervous system reset PDF that helps you stay grounded when it matters most.

Here’s what to do when conflict sends you into shutdown, fawn, or fight:

1. Pause. Literally.

Step away for 30 seconds. Feel your feet. Take one long exhale. That’s enough to give your system space from reaction.

2. Scan your body.

Ask: “What am I feeling physically?” Hot chest, tight jaw, numbness — this is your body holding the story.

3. Ask the deeper questions:

“What’s the story I’m telling right now?”

“Is this really about them, or is something old playing out?”

“What need am I not voicing?”


This is how you move from collapse → clarity.

From people-pleasing → self-trust.

From survival → safety.

🌀 DM “GUIDE” if you want the full guide.

❤️ Save this post if you’ve ever spiraled in conflict

📩 Share this with someone who struggles with conflict

🔁 Bookmark this for your next dysregulation moment

👥 Follow @**naj_alikhan** for healing tools, self-trust work & nervous system repair

07/11/2025

This guide distills years of working with people who can’t find the right partnership into a quick guide. It also pulls from my own journey as I realize what has worked in my marriage to build and maintain safety, trust, and attachment healing

05/11/2025

08/27/2024

If you are stuck here, I may have the answer for you

08/13/2024

What you resist, persists

07/24/2024

Did this surprise you at all? The real question is, how does this square with the genetic predisposition perspective?

05/20/2024

Weekend photo dump. Wow, was so good. Nostalgia 12/10. And I was finally able to show music that shaped me. Hey! I have 1500 followers. lol, I think I have a nephew in 8th grade with more 🤣🤣. But thank you to the new people that are following my avoidant attachment journey. Sunday was a perfect day in Venice. Feeling so grateful for all of it.