07/12/2025
Tough day. Long post
Life happens. If I can be me and just be real for a minute…sh*t happens. I’m not necessarily religious but I consider myself spiritual
So how do we navigate the transformative shift from “God hates me” and “what doesn’t kill me makes me stronger “???
It’s not easy and honestly this is a powerful and deeply personal question, touching on the core of human resilience and the search for meaning in suffering. When "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" clashes with "God hates me," it creates an intense internal conflict that can feel paralyzing. Let's break down how to navigate this:
Understanding the Conflict:
* "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger": This speaks to a belief in post-traumatic growth, the idea that adversity can forge resilience, wisdom, and new capabilities. It implies agency and a positive outcome from struggle.
* "God hates me": This is a statement of profound despair, feeling targeted, abandoned, or punished by a higher power. It often arises from intense, repeated, or seemingly unjust suffering, leading to feelings of worthlessness, hopelessness, and victimhood.
The clash is that one perspective offers a path to growth, while the other locks you into a narrative of divine condemnation and unworthiness, making growth seem impossible or undeserved.
Navigating the Transformative Pain:
Here's a framework for navigating this internal battle, focusing on shifting from despair to a place where strength can emerge:
1. Acknowledge and Validate the "God Hates Me" Feeling:
* Don't dismiss it. This feeling isn't rational in the face of logical arguments; it's deeply emotional and rooted in pain. Tell yourself (or allow someone else to tell you), "It's understandable why you feel that way given what you've been through."
* Allow the grief and anger. Suppressing these emotions only makes them fester. Scream, cry, write in a journal – whatever feels authentic to express the raw pain.
2. Separate the Feeling from the Fact:
* "I feel like God hates me" vs. "God does hate me." This distinction is crucial. Feelings are valid, but they are not always objective truths. The feeling is a symptom of deep wounding.
* Question the narrative. Gently, over time, begin to ask: "What evidence do I really have that God hates me? Is it possible this pain is happening to me, rather than because of me or because I am being punished?"
3. Challenge the Concept of "Hate" (Especially in a Divine Context):
* Re-evaluate your concept of "God." Is the God who "hates" you the only possible understanding of a higher power? Many spiritual traditions emphasize love, grace, and compassion, even amidst suffering.
* Consider the nature of suffering. Is it always a punishment? In many spiritual and philosophical views, suffering is an inherent part of the human condition, a consequence of free will, or even a catalyst for spiritual purification and growth, not a sign of divine malice.
* Look for examples of resilience and grace in others. Even in the face of immense suffering, many find strength and even peace. This doesn't mean their pain is less, but it offers an alternative narrative to divine hatred.
4. Find Meaning (Even Small Bits) in the Pain:
* Focus on what you are learning, even if it's painful. Are you learning about your own resilience? The importance of connection? What truly matters to you?
* Identify unexpected strengths. Even if you feel broken, have you continued to show up? To care for others? To simply breathe and exist? These are strengths.
* Look for acts of kindness, however small. Even if you feel abandoned by a higher power, have people shown you kindness? Has nature offered solace? These are tangible sources of connection and potential grace.
5. Reframe "Stronger" from Brute Force to Resilience and Wisdom:
* "Stronger" doesn't necessarily mean emotionless or invulnerable. It can mean:
* More compassionate: Understanding others' pain because of your own.
* More resilient: Bouncing back more effectively from future setbacks.
* Wiser: Gaining perspective and insight.
* More authentic: Shedding false fronts and embracing your true self.
* More connected: Realizing the importance of genuine relationships.
* More grateful: Finding appreciation for small joys.
Seek Support and Connection:
* Professional Help: A therapist, counselor, or spiritual advisor can provide invaluable guidance in processing trauma, challenging negative self-talk, and finding new coping mechanisms. They can help you disentangle the complex emotions.
* Support Groups: Connecting with others who have experienced similar struggles can validate your feelings and offer a sense of community, showing you that you are not alone.
* Trusted Friends/Family: Lean on those who can listen without judgment and offer unconditional support.
Take Action (Even Small Steps):
* Practice Self-Care: Even when you don't feel like it, basic self-care (sleep, nutrition, movement) provides a foundation for emotional healing.
* Engage in Meaningful Activities: Even if for short periods, engage in activities that bring you a sense of purpose or joy, however fleeting.
* Help Others: Sometimes, turning outward and helping others can be a powerful way to shift focus from personal suffering and cultivate a sense of purpose
Let’s get real: this year has challenged me in ways I never could have imagined and I’ve been through MANY challenges in my life. But this year has been immensely different. Either I submit or I transform. So…
The Transformative Journey:
You don’t have to be religious or even spiritual to experience moments where you think “God he’s me”. The journey from "God hates me" to "stronger" is not linear. There will be setbacks, moments of despair, and times when the old narrative resurfaces. It requires immense courage, self-compassion, and a willingness to question deeply held (and painful) beliefs.
Ultimately, the goal is not to erase the pain, but to integrate it. It's about recognizing that even in the deepest valleys of suffering, there can be a quiet, persistent current of life and possibility. The strength doesn't come from the pain itself, but from the process of surviving it, reflecting on it, and choosing to move forward, even when it feels impossible. It's a testament to the indomitable spirit of life within you, a spirit that no external force, perceived or real, can truly destroy.
I don’t pretend to have all the answers. It will be ugly at times but it will also be beautiful and meaningful and that is where the transformation happens. It takes time and it doesn’t always make sense and that’s ok. We’ll take it one day at a time. Together. Because ultimately it’s worth it. I’m worth it. And so are you.
If you’re still reading this -thank you and please know that you are not alone
