03/13/2025
This can be really hard if you've been socialized to be a caretaker. If on some level you believe you're responsible for the feelings of other adults.
But what you're responsible for is your behavior, not their feelings. You're responsible for getting in touch with and communicating your needs and limits in relationship, and taking action to make sure they're reliably met. And to maintain a healthy dynamic, you have to allow the other person to have their own genuine response to your truth.
To show up fully in relationship, you have to be willing to let other people see you.
To connect from a place of authenticity means you don't try to control the outcome; you allow them the space to respond to whatever you're putting out there.
This allows you to see more of them, too.
If boundaries are threatening to them, that gives you information. If they're happy to respect and support you, that also gives you information.
But if you're always trying to perceive in advance how someone might take something and avoid anything that might make them uncomfortable, your taking on too much responsibility in that relationship. You're actively controlling the outcome, and that isn't good for anybody - for you or them.
Yes, this is an old pattern. It often comes from a place of self-protection. But your work is in developing trust in your adult self - in learning to process uncomfortable feelings and advocate for yourself as needed. As this becomes clearer, it becomes more possible to let go of this interpersonal stickiness - to let other people be who they're going to be.
Because it feels so much better when you learn that it's safe to be authentically you!
The only live Self Awareness Workshop I'll be teaching in 2025 begins April 22.
In this course, you'll learn different ways to connect with yourself to improve your boundaries, and you'll be taught many smaller tools you can begin using from day 1. We talk triggers, energy, values, shame, blindspots, boundaries, and so much more.
Most importantly, you'll be connected to a small & supportive group of likeminded folks working to know, understand, & love themselves, too.
This one will fill up (the 4pm class is filling up!), so don't miss out.
https://theeqschool.co/self-awareness-sign-up
