Sandi Cobia, LMHC/Licensed Mental Health Counselor

07/05/2022

Gaslighting can leave people isolated, doubting their self-worth, and questioning their sense of reality. They can lose hope as their abuser wears them down and takes control…

That’s why we’ve created this free infographic to put the signs, techniques, and assertive responses to gaslighting at your clients' fingertips.

Download your free copy, plus access a special invitation to our comprehensive Narcissistic Abuse & Gaslighting Treatment Course: https://bit.ly/3u96Hoj

05/20/2022

"But here's the thing… sometimes, they aren't."

05/07/2022

Very valuable information.

Does your child have difficulty containing their emotions, exhibiting explosive bouts of anger, or crying? Do you have a teen struggling with excessive anxiousness, depression, or suicidal thoughts, or who engages in self-harm or dangerous, impulsive behavior? Or do you have trouble managing your own emotions, to the point of losing jobs, friends, or romantic partners? https://bit.ly/3FaJBly

05/05/2022

Good read

If you can prevent your emotions from taking over in the face of stress, you can avoid a lot of regret and set a good example for others.

04/27/2022

Stop the cycle of shame

Repair is a non-punishment action you can use that offers a lot of benefits. You just have to model the behavior so your kids can start using it.

04/22/2022

If you are not familiar with Dr Amen…check him out. He’s all brain info and some good practical answers to really tough questions. I absolutely love all his wisdom which comes from research and actual brain scans.

Amen Clinics has conducted several brain SPECT imaging studies on trauma survivors, including a 2015 study in Plos One, and the scans show significantly increased activity in the limbic, or emotional, areas in a pattern that looks like a diamond. The affected brain areas are:

Anterior cingulate gyrus: This region is the brain’s gear shifter and helps you go from one thought to another. Too much activity here is associated with a fixation on negative thoughts or behaviors
Basal ganglia and amygdala: These are the brain’s anxiety and fear centers, and overactivity is linked to heightened anxiousness and predicting the worst.
Thalamus: The thalamus acts as a sort of relay station for the brain, and increased activity in this region heightens sensory awareness.

Trauma matters. You matter.
Image by .mentalhealth

04/21/2022

This may sound hard…but so is conflict and incorporating this will reduce the incidence and severity of conflict and allow for quicker repair.

Validation is powerful. Spending just five minutes a day expressing appreciation and admiration for your partner can be a gift to your relationship. Statements of appreciation might sound like:

“I’m proud of you.”
"I feel ____ when you ______."
“I'm so impressed that you _____.”
“I like how you _____.”

For more tips on how to spend six hours a week to improve your relationship, sign up for our newsletter for this month's free download: https://bit.ly/30JWG2H

04/20/2022

Good read!

Next time you feel the urge to correct your partner's behavior, try connecting with them first.

This means making an effort to understand our partner’s experiences, perspective, and reasoning before jumping in to correct them or “fix” what you think they’re doing wrong.

The Candidly spoke with Gottman Institute Research Director Dr. Don Cole about the importance of curiosity over correction. Read more: https://bit.ly/3zHjsbv

04/12/2022

Learning new things is tough.
Reach out to learn and grow.
www.sandicobialmhc.com

"When all we know are unhealthy, toxic and abusive dynamics, being in a new relationship can be scary, even if it's a good one."

04/08/2022

Is your GIF game strong? 😊

Sometimes a funny text message is more than just a funny text message.

03/30/2022

Listen to your body.

Flooding is a sensation of feeling psychologically and physically overwhelmed during conflict, making it impossible to have a productive problem-solving discussion. While flooding affects everyone differently, in general, it impacts one's ability to think logically—which can contribute to stonewalling.

Stay tuned. Later this week we will discuss how to manage flooding and address stonewalling in relationships.

This post is not meant to address situations of abuse. Social media is not a substitute for individualized support.

03/26/2022

This is easy when you are first beginning a relationship as everyone is on their best behavior and bringing their best self.
This becomes difficult after years of unresolved conflict. If you find this difficult reach out for some help today.
Navigation of conflict can be easier if we are willing to learn new skills.

While the 5:1 ratio is a good one to keep in mind for difficult conversations, Gottman’s research found that 20:1 is a good ratio to aim for in everyday life.

The Marriage Minute twice weekly email offers simple and researched-based tips on keeping the magic in your everyday. Sign up for free: http://bit.ly/2qB8FAc