Renee Zavislak Psychotherapy

01/24/2026

Often people come to therapy and tell me they want to"get rid" of anxiety or sadness or anger. This is understandable, of course; none of these feelings is particularly pleasant. That said, trying to get of a negative feeling is not only a waste of time, it is also counterproductive at best and dangerous at worst. When we quiet the symptom without addressing the problem, we are ignoring a critical message about our mental or physical health. The slides explain it all! And if you need help finding a healer to help you sort this stuff, go to the story highlights on my profile page and tap "Find Therapist." I gotchu.
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01/15/2026

We were talking about this in the Subscriber stories last night, so I am taking that as a queue to post it here again. Years ago, when I was going through a major life transition, I sent my mentor an email and the subject line read "I am falling apart!" She replied, "You are cracking open." She was right.

All major life transitions happen in three stages, and when I sent her the email, I was in stage one - the gnarly part. It takes a lot of people by surprise that you don't go from feeling bad to feeling good, but rather from feeling bad to feeling nothing to feeling good. The slides explain it all! As always, if you have any questions, leave them in the comments.
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12/24/2025

If you are struggling on Christmas, I am offering free sessions to anyone in need. First come, first served; just DM me. Don't be shy about it! The holiday holidays can be brutal. I'm here to help. Take me up on it.

11/27/2025

It's that time of the year again! I often refer to November and December as tax season for therapists. Stressful family engagements, economic hardships, estrangement from loved ones...these are only some of the triggers that set us spinning during the holidays. If this is a difficult time for you because you don't have an intact family, I see you. I know that pain. And for those of you who struggle while being with your family during the holidays, this post is for you. Every year I post a Holiday Survival Guide, and every year I have to read it myself at least 10 times. Because no matter how many times I tell myself that I will behave like a rational adult, I become a petulant teen or dejected orphan at least once before the new year. The slides will give you 5 strategies for keeping your head on straight during the triggerfest. It helps; I promise. And if you have any specific holiday problems you need help with, let me know all about it in the comments!
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11/26/2025

If you are struggling on Thanksgiving, I am offering free sessions to anyone in need. First come, first served. There are a few spots left, so just DM me.
Don't be shy about it! The holidays can be so brutal. I'm here to help. Take me up on it.
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11/21/2025

In case you are unfamiliar with the word, "oxytocin" is the attachment hormone. We get our first hits of oxytocin when we are pushed through the birth canal, and then when we are held by our parents. As adults, our most common sources of oxytocin are or**sm, hugs, skin to skin, touch, and empathetic eye contact. "Oxytocin phobia" is the term I used to explain how some of us panic or sabotage once the attachment takes hold in a committed relationship. If you get restless, insecure, or anxious once your relationship gets settled, this may apply to you. It certainly applied to me for decades! The slides will explain it all. If you have questions, as always, leave them in the comments.
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11/02/2025

Uplifting reading, right? This is a list of the most commonly held beliefs about self from my clients who participate in EMDR treatments. I have done some stunning EMDR sessions in the last few weeks thanks to my extraordinary clients, so it seems like a good time to review this content. I'm not going to explain how EMDR works in this post, because it gets a little complicated. I do, however, explain it in a podcast episode - Episode 61. Here, however, I will explain how these beliefs about self function. Those of us who have unresolved childhood trauma usually carry several of these beliefs, either one from this list or something similar. Others I hear frequently are "I am responsible," and "I am trapped." Really, though, the options are unlimited. Overtime, these self-defeating beliefs, grow roots, gained power, and caused significant trouble. The good news is that we can uproot and rewrite them; that's what EMDR is for. The slides will explain it all! If you have questions, ask away in the comments!
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10/24/2025

Let's talk about America's favorite symptom: anxiety! This is by far the most common complaint new clients bring to therapy. We have a pretty serious problem with anxiety in our culture, not only because so many of us suffer or have suffered it, but also because we generally misunderstand what it is and how to treat it. Anxiety is not a disease entity; that is, it is not its own thing. It's a symptom, and symptoms are always messengers. So the trick with anxiety, as with all challenging emotions, is to answered it rather than push it away. The slides will explain it all! If you have any questions, leave them in the comments, as always. And in my next post, we will talk about show to answer your anxiety.
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10/10/2025

Healing is painful. This is especially true for trauma healing, which is kind of a sick joke since many of us are already suffering by the time we get to therapy. But the reality is that it gets worse before it gets better, and this can scare some of us away in the beginning. So before you read the slides, which will explain it all, hear this: you have already survived this pain. You may be feeling it in diffuse and indirect ways, but you have already endured it and held it. The sharp hits that come with healing or no match for you! That said there is no prize at the end for making it harder than it has to be, so decide how to take care of yourself before you start the deep work. I promise it's worth it. What is waiting for you on the other side of that pain will blow your mind. Promise.
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09/18/2025

I have been talking a lot about how important it is to protect your energy right now - and this is one of the most powerful tools for doing so. When we talk about boundaries, most of us think about direct boundaries that we set verbally with another person. However, in some situations, the boundary need is emotional or energetic, not spoken. It isn't about telling the other person what to do or not do, but rather about protecting our own energetic space. If you are like me, you are easily subject to energetic invasions; that is, other people's energy and feelings get mixed up with your own. This means we get triggered very easily, often for reasons we don't understand. It also means that we can get weighed down by other people's distress. In these situations, the best intervention I know is called "neutral separation." This is an energy medicine intervention that keeps other people's energy out of your energetic field. It's absolutely brilliant. I use it a lot with a particular family member who gets under my skin, and I also use it after particularly intense sessions when I am having trouble shaking off the client's sadness. It sounds terribly simple when you read the explanation, but I promise you it is magically helpful. Keep in mind that this is an intervention for support. It will not resolve the underlying issues that create our emotional porousness. That is work to be done in therapy. But in the meantime, this can save your nervous system a lot of distress and allow you to create space for healing. Give it a try!
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09/18/2025

09/09/2025

In my last post, we talked about the mother wound. Let's look at the father wound now. The effects of the two attachment injuries differ because of the different cultural expectations we have for mothers and fathers, but both produce profound liabilities around emotion regulation, self image, and relationship behaviors. These wounds can heal! The slides will explain it all. If you have any questions, leave them in the comments!
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