12/04/2025
We don’t always get a say in when emotions hit or how they effect us in the moment. For those of us wearing many hats, i.e. founder, partner, parent, creator etc... a sudden surge of emotion can feel like everything is unraveling, paired with the familiar thought: “I don’t have time for this.” But here's the thing, using skills to help us tolerate tough moments or to simply not make things worse doesn't have to be super time consuming or intensive.
That’s why I love the distress tolerance skill ACCEPTS. It’s simple, quick, and requires no props. It’s a set of tools you can reach for in any moment to help you pause, regulate, and ride the wave rather than get swept up in it.
Here’s how it works:
A — Activities … redirect your focus to something else
C — Contributing … reach out, connect, offer kindness
C — Comparisons … remember what you’ve survived before; recall the truth of impermanence
E — Emotions … shift the emotional tone with music, movement, or anything that changes the vibe
P — Pushing Away … mentally set the chaos aside for a moment
T — Thoughts … engage your mind elsewhere: a puzzle, a task, a simple challenge
S — Sensations … anchor through the body: cold water, sour candy, spice, texture
Use one. Use two. Use whatever helps.
If you’re navigating a complex life, leadership demands, or simply carrying a heavy emotional load, giving yourself a moment of relief isn’t weakness or giving up. It’s the foundation of skillfulness — a return to your agency, and a reminder that you always have a choice in how you move forward.
For practical examples and real-life scenarios where ACCEPTS helps you respond instead of react:
Read: www.theonpointpractice.com/post/how-to-apply-the-dbt-distress-tolerance-accepts-skill or visit The Skills Podcast, Episode 7. www.youtube.com/
