10/21/2022
I’m in my early fifties and am tasked with being the primary caregiver of my mother. I’m happy to help because of course I wouldn’t be here without her. But it is most definitely a task. And not always a pleasant one. It’s difficult to get her to remember the importance of taking her meds and keeping track of if the CNA is on time or showing up at all and balancing her wants against my my personal life. I know that many of you that I have invited here have lost one or both parents. I totally get it. I fear the loss of my mother everyday as I watch her decline into an almost childlike state at times. I know that someone is saying or thinking , be glad that you still have your mother.. And I am. However, I have a husband that has congestive heart failure and a defibrillator. I watch him struggle everyday to keep doing things that he’s always done naturally. We have about 14 stairs in our home and it’s very trying for him to climb them. I spend time listening to make sure he’s breathing a night. I stay up extra late so that he can go to sleep first. I work from home just as he does. My shifts are ten hours long. His are 8 and sometimes 12. I also have a baking business on the side that I’m trying to get up and running full time. So I’m usually watching cooking shows seeking out trends, coming up with the next flavor to wow everyone or researching recipes. I created this space not as a bashing page but a place to say what’s on your mind and to have people just say “ it’s okay to feel that way” or “ you’re not alone.” Hopefully you all will join me soon in this space created just for us.
